Upgrade and Redesign
Posted on : Thursday July 08 2010 by Scott Buffington | category : news

Just over five years ago I rolled out my home grown blogging engine here on Brutal Deluxe with a WYSIWYG editor to make posting of news stories and podcasts easy for everyone. That worked reasonably well over the years, but the BrutalDeluxe.us website went through a few redesigns since then and the CSS had become broken. I was in the middle of another redesign, in which I scrapped, and decided to not only redesign the website but to fix the WYSIWYG editor that I implemented within my home grown blogging engine. While I am not completely finished with some of the design, including a new logo, and I have some more upgrading to do to the PHP powering the website, I thought I would let everyone know about the updates that are becoming quite visible.
The CSS, or Cascading Style Sheets, that tell your web browser how to layout everything you see here, including the text had become very ugly over the past couple years. I was not happy with the appearance of the blog posts announcing the latest podcasts and Alex had run into some odd behavior over the last year. So I set about cleaning up the design so that the posts looked more professional and the site looked cleaner. The last redesign of Brutal Deluxe was minimalist, mainly because the prior design was no longer working for us. I wanted a website that looked less minimalist and more current. I think this new design pulls that off and hope that the owners, listeners and readers feel the same way.
The big change that only the owners will notice, as they are the only ones that get to use this feature, is the update of the WYSIWYG editor. I had integrated the FCKeditor back in 2005 into my Buff blogging engine and I have been using it with some updates since then. In 2009 a group of folks created the CKeditor, based off the FCKeditor and they made it OpenSource, which technically I do not think the FCKeditor was. The CKeditor is more modern and updated more regularly for the current browsers. I purposefully reduced the number of features available to those doing posts so that only the features that were actually used are visible. Also the spell checker within the CKeditor works!
The other area that I have been tweaking is the list of BDFL champions, which you can navigate to from the navigation menu along the top. The previous listing just had the logo from the team and the team owner. I thought it would be more interesting to include the outcome of the game, including the MVP of the championship game. I intend to spruce up the page a little more by possibly including logos for each of the Brutal Bowls. This season we will be playing Brutal Bowl IX, which means next season will be our tenth! I will have to see if I can come up with something special for our tenth season, suggestions are welcome and we have an entire year to think of something. Look around the website and see if you notice anything not working properly.
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Bengals WR Chris Henry Has Died
Posted on : Thursday December 17 2009 by Alex Harden | category : news
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According to Rotoworld:
Police in Charlotte have confirmed that Chris Henry died Thursday morning.
Henry was on life support since reportedly falling out of the back of a pickup truck following a domestic dispute with his fiancee on Wednesday afternoon. Henry, 26, had a string of arrests but had recently turned his life around after getting a second chance from the Bengals. Coach Marvin Lewis is scheduled to address the media at 11 a.m. ET. Our condolences go out to Henry's family and the Bengals.
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BDFL Week 11 Stud: Hannover Dopplegangers RB Ricky Williams
Posted on : Friday November 27 2009 by Alex Harden | category : news
Ricky Williams edged out Wes Welker as the top BDFL player in Week 11. Willams rushed for 119 yards and 2 TDs, and logged 2 catches for 19 yards and a TD.
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Middletown Brewers to don Throwback Uniforms
Posted on : Monday November 09 2009 by Scott Buffington | category : news

(AP Sportswire - Middletown, PA) - The Middletown Brewers announced during their recent impending defeat that they will be donning throwback uniforms for the remainder of the season. Following back to back Mid-Penn championships in 2007 and 2008 the Brewers changed their uniforms and the letter on their helmet. Ever since S.U.C.M.A. Gamecocks owner Kurt Stambaugh forced the Brewers franchise from playing a partial schedule in Hanover and owner Scott Buffington changed the name from the Hanover Hellions to the Middletown Brewers, the Brewers had donned blue and burnt orange uniforms with the letter B on their helmets, (pictured in the prior linked article). This season the Brewers donned new black and purple uniforms with the letter M and a football slashing across the helmet, the team has struggled the entire season except when playing the Calorie Outlets. But it is not the old blue and burnt orange the Brewers will be sporting the remainder of the season.
"I take partial blame for this season, while I have had some inconsistency the crux of the problem was a poor draft", said Buffington. Buffington unveiled the throwback uniforms of the Hanover Hellions, the crimson red, white and black that was amongst the most feared in BDFL history. "We had a proud history as the Hanover Hellions and we are hoping to awaken the ghosts of old for a little help the rest of the season", added Buffington. The Hellions were Mid-Penn division champs and Brutal conference champions in 2005, losing to the Steel Curtainites in Brutal Bowl IV.
Buffington vowed to deck out the entire stadium in Hanover Hellion colors and logos for the remainder of the season and no doubt this will anger S.U.C.M.A. Gamecock owner Kurt Stambaugh who found the Hellion team name to be offensive. Hannover Doppelganger owner Andrew Bolin was pretty excited saying, "I was the Hellions biggest fan and while I was tempted, I never parted with my Hellion Devil Horned Hat!" Bolin never really wears any gear for his current team whose name has changed more often than Apollo Creed's nicknames.
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BDFL and Friends Free Yahoo! Games
Posted on : Friday August 28 2009 by Alex Harden | category : news
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Everyone is welcome to join! Please tell your friends! The password for all leagues/groups is "brutal".
Yahoo! 2009 Fantasy Football: Brutal Deluxe Experimental League (BDXL)
- 12 teams in two divisions; top 6 go to the playoffs (weeks 14-16)
- Autodraft - you don't need to be online at draft time to pick a team
- Standard Yahoo! FF scoring plus 1 PPR, bonuses for passing/rushing/receiving thresholds
- League ID: 514911
- League URL: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/league/bdflexperimental
Yahoo! 2009 Pro Football Pick'Em: BDFL and Friends Group
- Pick the winner in all NFL games each week of the regular season
- No confidence points
- No spread
- Lowest week dropped
- Most correct picks at the end of the season wins (tiebreak is available)
- Group ID#: 11406
- Game URL: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/pickem
Yahoo! 2009 College Football Pick'Em: BDFL and Friends Group
- Pick the winner in select college football games during the college season
- No confidence points
- Pick against the spread (this is new for our group)
- Lowest week dropped
- Most correct picks at the end of the season wins (tiebreak is available)
- Group ID#: 5522
- Game URL: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/college
Yahoo! 2009 Survival Football
- Pick one winning team per week from each NFL regular season week
- You can only pick each team one time per season
- Three strikes and you're out (this is new for this group)
- Last one standing wins
- Group ID#: 4265
- Game URL: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/survival
Join today!
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First 2009-Season Podcast Coming Soon
Posted on : Monday May 04 2009 by Alex Harden | category : news
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After a bout of strep throat, Scott is ready to talk NFL Draft 2009 with me tonight. Our first preseason podcast of the 2009 season should be published by Wednesday. Fire up those podcatchers!
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NFL Free Agents and Trades 2009
Posted on : Thursday April 23 2009 by Scott Buffington | category : news
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No promises to update this list in the future, but this list addresses most of the big trades and free agent moves. I focus on fantasy football positions, but at the bottom of the free agent list are notable Offensive Line and Defensive free agents, no kickers.
Trades:
QB Sage Rosenfels - Minnesota Vikings
QB Jay Cutler - Chicago Bears
TE Kellen Winslow - Tampa Bay Bucs
TE Tony Gonzalez - Atlanta
Free Agents:
Note that the final two columns of each line is first the players 2008 team followed by the team who signed the player for 2009. Some players still remain unsigned for the 2009 season, so you will see only one team listed.
Pos Name Type 2008 Team Signed Team
QB Kurt Warner UFA Arizona Arizona
QB Matt Cassel Fran.New England Kansas City
QB Kerry Collins UFA Tennessee Tennessee
QB Jeff Garcia UFA State Tampa Bay Oakland
QB J.T. O'Sullivan UFA San Francisco Cincinnati
QB Damon Huard UFA Kansas City San Francisco
QB Chris Simms UFA Tennessee Denver
QB J.P. Losman UFA Buffalo
QB Byron Leftwich UFA Pittsburgh Tampa Bay
QB Gus Frerotte UFA Minnesota
QB Joey Harrington UFA Atlanta New Orleans
QB Kyle Boller UFA Baltimore St. Louis
QB Rex Grossman UFA Chicago
QB Dan Orlovsky UFA Detroit Houston
QB Trent Green UFA St. Louis
QB Quinn Gray UFA Indianapolis
QB Todd Bouman UFA Jacksonville Baltimore
QB Brad Johnson UFA Dallas
QB Patrick Ramsey UFA Denver Tennessee
QB Charlie Frye UFA Seattle
QB Charlie Batch UFA Pittsburgh Pittsburgh
QB Brooks Bollinger UFA Dallas
QB Ryan Fitzpatrick UFA Cincinnati Buffalo
RB Brandon Jacobs Fran. NY Giants NY Giants
RB Derrick Ward UFA NY Giants Tampa Bay
RB Fred Taylor UFA Jacksonville New England
RB Darren Sproles Fran. San Diego
RB Cedric Benson UFA Cincinnati Cincinnati
RB Warrick Dunn UFA Tampa Bay
RB Deuce McAllister UFA New Orleans
RB Maurice Morris UFA Seattle Detroit
RB Ahman Green UFA Nebraska Houston
RB Kevin Jones UFA Chicago Chicago
RB Deshaun Foster UFA San Francisco
RB Correll Buckhalter UFA Philadelphia Denver
RB Najeh Davenport UFA Indianapolis
RB LaMont Jordan UFA New England Denver
RB Rudi Johnson UFA Detroit
RB Michael Pittman UFA Denver
RB Dominic Rhodes UFA Indianapolis Buffalo
RB Tatum Bell UFA Detroit
RB Jason Wright UFA Cleveland Arizona
RB J.J. Arrington UFA Arizona Denver
RB Nick Goings UFA Carolina
RB Reuben Droughns NY Giants
RB Aaron Stecker UFA New Orleans
RB Noah Herron UFA Green Bay Cleveland
RB Jesse Chatman UFA NY Jets
RB Travis Minor UFA St. Louis
RB Maurice Hicks UFA Minnesota
WR Terrell Owens UFA Dallas Buffalo
WR T.J. Houshmandzadeh UFA Cincinnati Seattle
WR Antonio Bryant Fran. Tampa Bay Tampa Bay
WR Plaxico Burress UFA NY Giants
WR Torry Holt UFA St. Louis Jacksonville
WR Marvin Harrison UFA Indianapolis
WR Laveranues Coles UFA NY Jets Cincinnati
WR Jerry Porter UFA Jacksonville
WR Lance Moore RFA New Orleans
WR Joey Galloway UFA Tampa Bay New England
WR D.J. Hackett UFA Carolina
WR Drew Bennett UFA St. Louis
WR Reggie Williams UFA Jacksonville
WR Matt Jones UFA Jacksonville
WR Amani Toomer UFA NY Giants
WR Bryant Johnson UFA San Francisco Detroit
WR Ronald Curry UFA Oakland Detroit
WR Bobby Engram UFA Seattle Kansas City
WR Devery Henderson UFA New Orleans New Orleans
WR Hank Baskett RFA Philadelphia
WR Nate Washington UFA Pittsburgh Tennessee
WR Malcom Floyd RFA San Diego
WR Jabar Gaffney UFA New England Denver
WR Mike Furrey UFA Detroit
WR Michael Clayton UFA Tampa Bay Tampa Bay
WR Demetrius Williams RFA Baltimore Baltimore
WR David Patten UFA New Orleans Cleveland
WR Marty Booker UFA Chicago
WR Joe Jurevicius UFA Cleveland
WR Ike Hilliard UFA Tampa Bay
WR Brandon Jones UFA Tennessee San Francisco
WR Shaun McDonald UFA Detroit
WR Koren Robinson UFA Seattle
WR Ashley Lelie UFA Oakland
WR Darrell Jackson UFA Denver
WR David Anderson RFA Houston Houston
WR Keary Colbert UFA Denver
WR Justin McCareins UFA Tennessee
WR Drew Carter UFA Oakland
WR Brandon Lloyd UFA Chicago
WR Ruvell Martin RFA Green Bay Green Bay
WR Kelley Washington UFANew England
WR Robert Ferguson UFA Minnesota
WR Miles Austin RFA Dallas
WR Sam Hurd RFA Dallas Dallas
WR Dane Looker UFA St. Louis
WR Dante Hall UFA St. Louis
WR Terrance Copper UFA New Orleans Kansas City
TE Owen Daniels RFA Houston
TE Bo Scaife Fran. Tennessee
TE L.J. Smith UFA Philadelphia Baltimore
TE Chris Baker UFA NY Jets New England
TE Robert Royal UFA Buffalo Cleveland
TE Jim Kleinsasser UFA Minnesota Minnesota
TE Jeff King RFA Carolina Carolina
TE George Wrighster UFA Jacksonville
TE Jeb Putzier UFA Denver Denver
TE Anthony Becht UFA St. Louis Arizona
TE Tory Humphrey UFA Green Bay Green Bay
TE Leonard Pope RFA Arizona Arizona
TE Jerramy Stevens UFA Tampa Bay Tampa Bay
TE Bubba Franks NY Jets
TE Justin Peelle UFA Atlanta Atlanta
TE Dan Campbell UFA Detroit New Orleans
TE Darnell Dinkins UFA Cleveland New Orleans
TE Will Heller UFA Seattle Detroit
TE Nate Jackson UFA Denver
TE Quinn Sypniewski RFA Baltimore Baltimore
TE Sean Ryan UFA Miami Kansas City
DT Albert Haynesworth UFA Tennessee Washington
DE Terrell Suggs Fran. Baltimore
MLB Ray Lewis UFA Baltimore Baltimore
OLB Karlos Dansby Fran. Arizona Arizona
OLB Bart Scott UFA Baltimore NY Jets
C Jason Brown UFA Baltimore St. Louis
C Matt Birk UFA Minnesota Baltimore
S Jermaine Phillips UFATampa Bay Tampa Bay
S Oshiomogho Atogwe Fran.St. Louis
S Brian Dawkins UFA Philadelphia Denver
CB Dunta Robinson Fran.Houston
DE Julius Peppers Fran.Carolina
OT Marvel Smith UFA Pittsburgh San Francisco
MLB Jonathan Vilma UFA New Orleans New Orleans
DT Rocky Bernard UFA Seattle NY Giants
DT Jovan Haye UFA Tampa Bay Tennessee
DE Chris Canty UFA Dallas NY Giants
DE Antonio Smith UFAArizona Houston
OT Mark Tauscher UFA Green Bay
OT Jon Runyan UFA Philadelphia
OT Tra Thomas UFA Philadelphia Jacksonville
OG Derrick Dockery UFA Buffalo Washington
OG Jahri Evans RFA New Orleans
C Brad Meester UFA Jacksonville Jacksonville
S Sean Jones UFA Cleveland Philadelphia
OLB Derrick Brooks UFA Tampa Bay
OLB Keith Brooking UFA Atlanta Dallas
OLB Leroy Hill Fran. Seattle
OLB Freddy Keiaho UFA Indianapolis
OLB Michael Boley UFA Atlanta NY Giants
OLB Marcus Washington UFA Washington
OLB Cato June UFA Tampa Bay Houston
OT Stacy Andrews UFA Cincinnati Philadelphia
MLB Andra Davis UFA Cleveland Denver
OT Khalif Barnes UFA Jacksonville Oakland
OT Willie Colon RFA Pittsburgh Pittsburgh
CB Jabari Greer UFA Buffalo New Orleans
CB Phillip Buchanon UFA Tampa Bay Detroit
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Bad Things Happen in These Shoes Man!
Posted on : Tuesday January 20 2009 by Scott Buffington | category : news
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Thoughts on NFL Wild-Card Weekend
Posted on : Thursday January 01 2009 by Alex Harden | category : news
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BD Podcast Is Taking The Holiday Off
Posted on : Thursday January 01 2009 by Alex Harden | category : news
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Happy New Year! Sorry, no BDFL podcast this week due to the holidays. I'll post my take on this week's NFL news and playoff matchups later today.
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I'm an owner announces "I'm a PC" new team's name
Posted on : Thursday September 25 2008 by Andrew Bolin | category : news
Hanover, PA - It's official! "I'm a PC" is the new team name of the Lost Knights of Revonah...for now. Owner Andy Bolin in a press conference today said he was changing the teams name "until we collect our first win of the season".
Fans fear name will stick for the entire season. "They suck this year!" said one annoyed Knights fan. "I don't see them winning a game all season" he added. Another more optimistic fan said "Well at least we play the Brewers soon, we might have a chance to get our name back this year."
Until then the Knights, err "I'm a PC" unveiled it's "I'm a helmet" design at the press conference. Best of Luck the rest of the season?!
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Baltimore-Houston Week 2 Game Postponed!
Posted on : Saturday September 13 2008 by Alex Harden | category : news
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Ravens-Texans game rescheduled for Nov. 9
If you have Ravens or Texans scheduled to start in fantasy this week, make different plans. Baltimore and Houston's bye weeks move to this week and Cincinnati's moves from Week 8 to Week 10.
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Banyanators Receive The BDFL Trophy
Posted on : Tuesday September 02 2008 by Scott Buffington | category : news

(AP Sportswire - Middletown, PA) - The day following the annual BDFL draft Baltimore Banyanators owner Kurt Albin accepted the traveling BDFL Trophy for his 2007 championship. The trophy has been housed at BDFL headquarters for the last two years, part of the stipulation is that the owner must show up to claim the trophy. Kurt Albin is the first to claim the trophy since Chuck Hoyes of the now defunct Yodelin Yossarians held the trophy.
The Banyanators have a strong team going into the 2008 season and will be trying to be first team to repeat and win a second championship since the Steel Curtainites accomplished the feat. There are eleven other hungry teams though, including two new owners, Gary Interdonato owner of the Flyguys and Kyle Amoroso owner of the Howard Country Renegades. Both new owners have taken over successful franchises that have either won or played in the Brutal Bowl.
The visit by Kurt Albin to BDFL Headquarters and the Middletown Brewers complex was his first despite being with the BDFL since it's inaugural year. Albin was so impressed with the Middletown Brewery complex, he spent an additional day after enjoying the beer and the company of his fellow owners. Come Thursday night though, it will be every team for itself as another BDFL season kicks off
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Manning Leads Banyanators to Championship
Posted on : Wednesday December 26 2007 by Kurt Albin | category : news

Manning erased any of the lingering questions about his career. He finally won a big game. All those proverbial monkeys are completely off his back. He lead the Banyanators to a 110-74 win over the Tramps in Brutal Bowl VI. Although maybe it came a little later than expected, the Manning Reign can now begin. He put an end to all of the criticism, completing 28 of 35 passes for 311 yards and three touchdowns on his way to being named Brutal Bowl MVP.
Less than a half hour after leading the Banyanators to victory, Manning, the perfectionist, accepted his first Brutal Bowl win by consistently calling it a "team victory" and vowed to use this Brutal Bowl experience to become a better quarterback. One of the greatest quarterbacks of our time already has started to think about winning another Brutal Bowl.
In some ways, this game fit the season profile of this year's Banyanators. Of the Banyanators’ starters in Brutal Bowl VI only Ryan Grant and Anthony Gonzalez were undrafted. The Banyanators stuck with their starters through thick and thin and ultimately their consistency paid dividends. Sure, the Banyanators have had better teams in the past in terms of over all talent, but this year’s squad was the most consistent Banyanator team to date, despite some poor personal decisions throughout the year by coach Albin.
"In the past when our team's come up short, it's been disappointing," Manning said. "Somehow, we found a way to have learned from those bad losses, and we've been a better team because of it. As disappointing as the loss to the Yodelin' Yossarians was in Brutal Bowl III, the veteran guys got together and learned from it and felt we were a better team this year and maybe stronger for it. It's nice when you put a lot of hard work to cap it off with a championship."
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Brutal Bowl VI Update
Posted on : Monday December 24 2007 by Alex Harden | category : news
Coming into the fourth quarter of Brutal Bowl VI, it's the Baltimore Banyanators leading The Tramps 93-72. Each team has one position left to play, both from the San Diego Chargers. Coach Vamp hopes that TE Antonio Gates can play a career game, while Coach Albin just hopes the Chargers defense shows up. Can The Tramps come back to win? Check out the game tonight to find out!
Due to the Christmas holiday, our weekly podcast will be back next week, when we'll analyze Brutal Bowl VI and look at the Week 17 NFL matchups.
Merry Christmas!
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Jessica Simpson Jinxes Tony Romo, Brewers Lose
Posted on : Monday December 17 2007 by Scott Buffington | category : news

(AP Sportswire, Easley SC) - The Middletown Brewers had a surprise fan, or their quarterback did, and she was not welcome. As the Brewers boarded their buses to leave Easley, South Carolina, owner Scott Buffington could not hide his displeasure for the utter lack of professionalism his quarterback showed on Sunday. Jessica Simpson was invited by Romo to sit in a luxury box during the BFC Championship game and Middletown's Tony Romo again ended his season with another mistake, providing the world with a new word to add to the dictionary under the definition of mistake, Romo. Buffington banned any future Middletown players from inviting girl friends to the games.
"It was a huge mistake on Tony's part, it was quite obvious that his mind was not on the field where it should have been", said Buffington. Buffington added, "He let down his team mates, Middletown, Hanover, God, his Country and most of all, me." Buffington's reference to Hanover was a result of a strange incident involving the Lost Knights. The Lost Knights were playing at home against the Baltimore Banyanators and no home fans showed up, instead buses left Hanover and Middletown for Easley, both towns supported their Brewers. Tom Brady was bothered all day by crowd noise as the Knights fell to the Banyanators who filled the Lost Knight's stadium with Baltimore fans.
Simpson sported a pink and white Romo jersey and Romo was caught on camera peeking into the stands as he dropped back for passes. Middletown appeared poised to steal the game, but Romo threw several interceptions including one in the endzone that dashed the Middletown hopes.
"My hat is off to The Tramps organization and their ownership, we will be rooting for them in the championship game. All season long they (The Tramps) had our number", Buffington added when asked about the Tramps. Further stating, "The better team won, their players approached the game like it was their lively hood". Not one to forget BDFL history, Buffington compared the girly jersey Simpson sported to the uniforms
Greg Lydon adorned his Arlington Pussies with.
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Brewers Collect Second Mid Penn Title - Hanover Cheers
Posted on : Tuesday November 13 2007 by Scott Buffington | category : news
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(AP Sportswire - Middletown) The Middletown Brewers franchise clinched their second division title in three years with a solid win over the Nitschke's this past weekend. The Brewers rebounded from a difficult 2006 season in which the team missed the playoffs. The franchise formally known as the Hanover Hellions was forced to relocate and change their name after S.U.C.M.A. Gate, which occurred in the off-season. Hanover's favorite son, owner of the Middletown Brewers, Scott Buffington left another team in Hanover, the Lost Knights of Revonah owned by Andy Bolin. Despite accepting the new team and bidding a fond farewell to Buffington and the Brewers, Hanover now wants Bolin and his Lost Knights out of town following a cheating incident uncovered during week one of the season.
The Brewers had high hopes for the 2007 season and with three weeks remaining in the regular season have clinched a Mid Penn Division Title. Buffington said that he is going to rest his starters the remainder of the season, which will basically consist of supplying his team with some heavy winter warmer brews from his Middletown Brewery. "We're calling it a season and will give our competitors a shot at beating us in the remaining weeks by playing every game even more drunk than usual", announced Buffington. The Middletown Brewery Beers are solely responsible for the drunken look on the face of Tony Romo every time his photo is snapped and one would expect that grin to grow even more drunken looking for the remaining three games of the regular season.
Buffington's Middletown Brewers have been receiving support from somewhere unexpected this season, especially after Lost Knights owner Andy Bolin declared Hanover his town prior to the season. The Lost Knights have been playing to stadiums empty of home fans since week one and even their home games have turned into away games. Andy Bolin and his Lost Knights will receive an asterisk if they would happen to win the BDFL title this season after being caught stealing defensive signals in week one of the season. Hanover Mayor Maggie Hormel has been vocal on wanting Andy Bolin and his Knights out of town. "The Lost Knights are truly lost, because Hanover is no home to cheaters", said Hormel. "We are very proud of our history with the Middletown Brewers and have adopted them as our home team away from home", added Hormel. Hanover fans have been commuting to Middletown or wherever the Brewers are playing all season, breaking league attendance records.
The BDFL commissioner came down hard on Andy Bolin and his Lost Knights, stating that he would indeed place an asterisk on the trophy plate if the Lost Knights win the Brutal Bowl. "This is an infraction that may well benefit the Lost Knights into next season and has no doubt benefited the season we are seeing from Tom Brady. With the power vested in me I have no choice but to mark the occasion with an asterisk if it should occur." Buffington said solemnly. Buffington continued, "Andrew Bolin, you have disgraced the BDFL and all of which it stands for."
Bolin refused to comment on the incident instead trying to get the Deluxe Football Conference to come to his aid. Deluxe Football Conference president Scott Wood would not support Bolin, instead offering this response, "During my time above the Mason Dixon line I have witnessed nothing more offensive than the acts committed by Andrew Bolin. May GOD have mercy on your soul Andrew Bolin because the Deluxe Football Conference will not."
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Posted on : Tuesday November 13 2007 by Andrew Bolin | category : news
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Outlets Unveil New "Secondary" Helmet Design
Posted on : Wednesday October 17 2007 by Andrew Bolin | category : news

CYG's new "calories kill" helmet design was unveiled today in the hopes of pushing 0 trans fats as a snacking alternative. Team owner Alex Harden was inspired to create this design while watching his real life beloved Bills during their recent blown victory over the Dallas Cowboys as time ran out. "I realised while watching the game that maybe the boys aren't snacking healthy" Harden was quoted. "They had all the symptoms of unhealthy snacking, the offense shut down and the D lost their energy by games end." Harden added. Harden's BDFL team plans to wear the helmets a few times a year starting this week with their game against The Yossarains. "My Hope is this will create a better awareness of unhealthy snacking, hopefully what we can learn here is that healthy snacking will give a person, a team more energy in the end." said Harden "maybe through my team we can inspire a team, say the Bills, not to finish around .500 for the umteenth year in a row, heck maybe even win one Super Bowl!"
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From the Land of Pleasant Living
Posted on : Monday October 15 2007 by Andrew Bolin | category : news
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Don't Let the Bench Bugs Bite! Knights beat the Hateds 122-108
Posted on : Tuesday September 25 2007 by Andrew Bolin | category : news

(AP Sports Wire) Hanover, PA -- A week after suffering the Knights first defeat of the season due to the bench bug, sitting Tom Brady who would have provided enough points for the win. The Knights bounced back from the 1 game skid. Fortunately for the Knights the bench bug moved across the field and infested the Hated Legs sideline. Four members of the Legs 5 man bench managed to score more than their respective starters. Kevin Curtis lead the way with 3TDs and 221 yards receiving 209 in the first half alone.
Coach Bolin was quick to down play the Legs misfortune, "I was right there last week and let me tell you it isn't fun knowing (watching) you should have won!" Despite the help from the Legs the Knights posted a season high 122 points lead by the bookends QB Tom Brady (34 BDFL pts) going 23/29 311 yds and 4 TDS passing and the Patriots Defense (15 BDFL). When asked about the "bookends" knowing what plays were coming due to taping allegations, Bolin's response was "I don't really care what they do in real life, this is the BDFL it's all on tape". Marion Barber Jr continues to be a point machine (23 BDFL) and rookie Brandon Jackson and Alge Crumpler score their first TDs of the season.
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Cyg's Take: Week 2 Review, Week 3 Preview
Posted on : Wednesday September 19 2007 by Alex Harden | category : news

Due to sounding like I'm holding my nose when I'm talking and Scott being sick as well, we're not recording a BDFL podcast this week. Here are my thoughts on Week 2 of the BDFL and NFL and a look ahead to Week 3.
BDFL Week 2 Results
- The Hated Legs 82, Cyg's Calorie Outlets 120: The Cleveland offense couldn't have picked a better week to make history; Jamal Lewis' 27 BDFL points carried the Outlets to victory over their divisional foe. Coach Steck was seen looking out at the field to make sure his two franchise RBs were out there.
- Middletown Brewers 127, The Steel Curtainites 110: Coach Buffington called this a "shellacking"; I call it a polished victory. This is a game that shows how a pair of great WR performances can propel a team to victory.
- The Tramps 126, SUCMA Gamecocks 105: Another high-powered matchup produced The Tramps' first victory of the year. Bengals were on both sides in this matchup, but the re-emergence of Cadillac Williams saved the day.
- Yodelin Yossarians 126, John Elway's Teeth 129: By their skin, the Teeth, led by the dominant Minnesota defense, scraped out a win over the Yossarians in a matchup that could have gone either way.
- Baltimore Banyanators 88, Shady Spring Tigers 94: A close game decided by a nice outing from Rudi Johnson and a solid game from the Jaguars D.
- Lost Knights of Revonah 100, The Nitschke's 107: The Nitschke's continue their improbable season by sticking with Jake Delhomme and getting great RB production. The Patriots D excelled, but fell short by only a few BDFL points.
NFL Week 2 Results
- Pittsburgh 26, Buffalo 3: Is Pittsburgh that good, or are Cleveland and Buffalo that bad?
- Houston 34, Carolina 21: Houston is the most improved team so far this season, so far.
- Jacksonville 13, Atlanta 7: Atlanta is in a freefall.
- Tampa Bay 31, New Orleans 14: The Saints will circle the wagons in the Superdome after an 0-2 start.
- Green Bay 35, NY Giants 13: Brett Favre and the Packers are looking pretty good.
- San Francisco 17, St. Louis 16: Only in the NFC West.
- Cleveland 51, Cincinnati 45: Only in the bottom of the AFC North. But are the Bengals worse than the Texans right now?
- Indianapolis 22, Tennessee 20: Always a slugfest with these two, Indy's still a great team.
- Detroit 20, Minnesota 17: This could have gone either way if not for two missed FGs. Detroit is 20% away from Kitna's 10-win guarantee.
- Dallas 37, Miami 20: Is Dallas that good, or is Miami that bad?
- Arizona 23, Seattle 20: Cyg's upset special of the week. The Cards get a W.
- Baltimore 20, NY Jets 13: SO?
- Denver 23, Oakland 20: Elam's leg should be bronzed.
- Chicago 20, Kansas City 10: ZZZZZ.
- New England 38, San Diego 14: The Pats are that good.
- Washington 20, Philadelphia 12: Donovan needs to improve his play. He does have good receivers. The media wants you to think he doesn't.
BDFL Week 3 Predictions
- Lost Knights over Legs
- Outlets over Brewers
- Tramps over Banyanators
- Yossarians over Cocks
- Teeth over Tigers
- Curtainites over Nitschke's
NFL Week 3 Predictions
- Detroit at Philadelphia: Philly
- Miami at NY Jets: Jets
- Buffalo at New England: Pats
- Arizona at Baltimore: Chazona
- St. Louis at Tampa Bay: Rams
- San Francisco at Pittsburgh: Steelers
- Indianapolis at Houston: Colts
- San Diego at Green Bay: Chargers
- Minnesota at Kansas City: Chefs
- Cleveland at Oakland: Roiders
- Jacksonville at Denver: Broncos
- Cincinnati at Seattle: Bengals
- NY Giants at Washington: Giants
- Carolina at Atlanta: Panthers
- Dallas at Chicago: Bears
- Tennessee at New Orleans: Saints
Comments welcome! Hopefully the BDFL podcast will be back next week.
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Brewers Drink Their Way to 2-0 Start
Posted on : Monday September 17 2007 by Scott Buffington | category : news
>(AP - Sportswire, Middletown, PA) - The Middletown Brewers stumbled through another shellacking of their opponent this week, all the more surprising because for the second week in a row the team appeared to be completely tanked. Curtainites owner Mike Amoroso was overheard in the pre-season to particularly be looking forward to this game. Not only was Amoroso angry about the "Anyone but Amoroso" shenanigans that Brewers' owner Scott Buffington pulled last season, encouraging every team to take it up a notch against the Curtainites. Buffington also publicly questioned Amoroso's team in the pre-season, saying the Curtainites did not appear strong enough to make a title run this year. The controversy did not end there, at half-time Mike Amoroso's son was caught heading to the Steel Curtainites' locker room with a video camera. Allegedly the younger Amoroso was taping the Brewers' defensive calls. Turns out that not only was the Amoroso threat to Buffington's undefeated Brewers harmless, so was the video on the camera.
The Middletown Brewer wide receivers have been impossible to cover this season, seems their routes have no straight paths or logic but their sober counterparts are unable to follow them. Andre Johnson zigzagged his way to another phenomenal outing and not to be outdone, number two wideout Joey Galloway lit up the Curtainite defense. This week Todd Heap followed suit with patterns that defied logic hauling in seven passed and a touchdown. Brewer quarterback Tony Romo summed up his past two weeks this way, "I throw to the one in the middle, then I head to the sideline for some more of that Middletown Brewer fuel".
Seems the only thing struggling for the Brewers this season has been their running game. So far the Brewer running backs have been tripping over the white lines. But the Brewers do not appear to be worried. "I think next week we are going to switch the running-backs to an American Honey Wheat beer, made with a pound of clover honey", said Buffington when asked about the Brewers lack of run production.
Curtainites' Chris Brown was shutdown this week by a Brewer defense that has been just unbelievable. "It is as if they are feeling no pain out there, they come through the blocks of our linemen like they are not even there", said a frustrated Brown.
Amoroso was unavailable for comment, he apparently had taken the complimentary beverages the Brewers offer to all their opponents and locked himself in the locker room with the video from the camera. The video? After league inspection it was returned to the Curtainites, the footage was an entire half of the Brew Maids performing. The Brew Maids are the Middletown Brewers cheerleaders.
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Brewers Appear Loose as a Goose
Posted on : Thursday August 30 2007 by Scott Buffington | category : news

(AP - Sportswire, Middletown, PA) - While many teams in the league have been releasing the goings on of their teams and spilling rhetoric about how much this player or that player loves their old team or new team, the Middletown Brewers need not talk about it, and they are careful not to spill a drop. One would find it difficult to find a Middletown Brewer without a smile on his face. This is partially due to the new practice of offering any of their hundreds of freshly brewed beers to the players during and after practice. The idea is so popular throughout the league that players were offering to pay owner Scott Buffington to draft them. Peyton Manning and Ladainian Tomlinson were two players that tried to get out of their contracts in order to play for the beloved Middletown Brewers. Rudi Johnson was so distraught about having to leave the Brewers that he entered grief rehab last week.
"We wish all the players could play in Middletown, but despite being commissioner I am handcuffed by the same rules as all the other owners", Buffington said. He added, "If I allowed all the players that wanted to come to Middletown to play here, we would not have a league, just a team".
Ladainian Tomlinson has been trying to get onto Buffington's team for years. "I am stuck in this never ending torture that is playing for the Hated Legs", said Tomlinson. Tomlinson continued, "Instead of enjoying fresh crisp beer I am forced to play for this team and owner that I absolutely hate". Tomlinson was not the only Hated Legs player to express interest in playing for the Brewers. A team meeting held the day following the draft found that unanimously all the players voted that they would rather be playing for the Middletown Brewers.
Similar sentiments were heard elsewhere in the league, some of the players were just happy to be near the Middletown complex. "Although I have to wear this stupid Scarlet Letter, at least I can drive down the road, hang out with the commish and enjoy some fine brews", said Hines Ward.
The Middletown players cannot seem to contain their happiness; Maurice Jones-Drew was drafted by Buffington as a rookie and has been welcomed back for another season in Middletown. "I have been so happy that I cannot decide which last name to go with. Buff told me to just use both", said Jones-Drew.
Tony Romo who was brought in to lead the Brewer offensive attack is so happy that no one has seen him without a smirk on his face. "I can guarantee that everyone will be seeing this stupid grin on my face for the entire season", said a stupidly grinning Tony Romo. "How can you not be happy being surrounded by the world's freshest and tastiest beer", Romo added with a beer mustache smile.
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Cyg's Calorie Outlets' 2007 Season Ready to Start
Posted on : Wednesday August 29 2007 by Alex Harden | category : news

[AP Sports Wire, Harrisburg, PA] - The 2007 BDFL season is right around the corner, and for Cyg's Calorie Outlets that means another chance to claim the coveted Hood Ornament Championship Trophy. Franchise QB Donovan McNabb is back and healthy, and several players from 2006 are back in the fold. The 2007 draft saw Outlets owner Alex "Cyg" Harden select both new (RB Marshawn Lynch) and controversial (WR Muhsin Muhammad) players, as well as one of the finest WR corps the franchise has seen. "I'm glad to be playing in Pennsylvania again," reported WR Hines Ward. "South Carolina is way too hot this time of year. Coach Vamp's two-a-days last season were a bit much." Other notable Outlets WRs include Deion Branch and Devery Henderson.
Coach Harden is pleased with his lineup this year, and is poised to make another playoff run. "Just look at our competition: The Hated Legs are a two-RB team. The Brewers have a pretty-boy QB and a goat for a kicker." His only regret about week one: that the new AOL schedulers didn't match him up against the rival Middletown Brewers (the former Hanover Hellions) in their traditional season-opening game. "I always looked forward to starting the season off with a guaranteed win," lamented Harden.
Rumors about the unexplained absense of Yodelin' Yossarians coach/GM Chuck Hoyes from the draft abound. Reports that he ducked the draft to avoid association with a notorious former Yossarian QB have been reported by anonymous sources. The owners present at BDFL headquarters during the draft did their best to help the former league champelin field a competitive team.
The presence of The Tramps coach/GM Ray Vampran at the BDFL draft this year was welcomed by all, but his inexplicable avoidance of RB picks in the early rounds befuddled many. However, his resulting RB core of Brandon Jacobs, Carnell Williams, and Julius Jones is respectable considering his obvious disdain for the position.
Lost Knights (Tsol Sthgink?) coach/GM Andy Bolin has reportedly guaranteed his team will win the BDFL trophy this season. Capturing his dream in a player-photo-collage, Bolin has publicly called them out. The fans are eager to see if they'll make good on that promise as they face off in Week 1 of the season against three-time league champion The Steel Curtainites.
McNabb leads Cyg's Calorie Outlets into Green Bay to face Jon Kitna (?) and The Nitschke's in their season-opening game the weekend of September 9th. Season tickets for the Outlets' games at Harrisburg Stadium (featuring Mayor Stephen Reed's Wild West Corner) are available now.
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It Ain't Eas(le)y Being Green!
Posted on : Monday August 27 2007 by Andrew Bolin | category : news
AP Sports Wire - Easley, SC -- Monday, fans didn't appear to be to impressed with this year's Tramps at this afternoon's rally for the 2007 squad. Anxious about seeing this years club for the first time this season most fans had that dazed and confused look as each player was introduced.
Some of the South Carolinians also appeared to have a distaine for the state of Michigan reasoning of which at time of printing was unclear.
As for the new look Tramps, some fans tried to make it work. Many fans however were chanting "We want Hobo" for the former team mascot, who was let go midseason 2006. The forgotten Hobo had to take to the streets for money for karate lessons when his family was abducted by ninjas last season. Allegations of the accused ninjas being fellow BDFL team owner Scott Buffington's notorious ScottBuff Ninjas of the BADFL (Brutal Arena Deluxe Football League) are still under investigation.
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Tramps
Posted on : Sunday August 26 2007 by Ray Vampran | category : news

Tramp talk 2007
Here are a few rumors from the Tramp Camp
Word leaking out of the spacious football compound of the Tramps is that owner Ray “Streeter” Vampran is very happy with this year’s squad. “I think we have a solid team, we make a move with the backup qb, but that will be about it.” Coach Streeter has been heard around the compound criticizing Trent Green and a source close to the team said the only reason Trent is on the team is because Mr. Automatic Drew Bree’s has a bye early on in week 4.
A public riff may soon surface between the Tramps and the Lost Knights, according to a fly on the way in the lushes halls of the Tramp Camp compound Coach Streeter thinks that the Lost ones owner/coach Andy (whom the Tramps front office refers to as Y-dna, because Andy likes to be backwards about everything) has over stepped the BDFL boundaries. Coach Streeter said “ You wake up after the draft and the first thing you see is Y-dna posting about Championships, dude needs to get a grip on reality because the road to the BDFL gold runs through the Carolina’s and as soon as Y-dna realizes that the better off he will be.” This may be the first shot fired at the Lost Knights, we will keep you posted!
A source close to the Tramps has alleged that Scott Buff is a secret cowboy fan. The source said “All during the draft the guy is talking about Americana stuff and we all know the old propaganda about America’s team being Dallas, and then Buff drafts Romo?” The source continued with “Look we at the Tramps Camp do not believe in coincidences, we simple look at the facts and make our own assumption about stuff.”
Interesting message written on the chalk board in the Tramps war room, which was full of profanity about the CYG and Buffalo Bill’s connection. The board had a lot of sophomoric type humor about the calorie outlets and Buffalo wings which seem to be a reference to the Outlets first round pick, which by the way was the Tramps guy at number 7. “Alex changed our whole draft board, we spent months on a strategy that had to be revised on the fly because Alex wanted his hometown teams new guy.” “We understand that logic and agree with it, however we WANTED the kid and Alex %^&#ed us!”
The Tramps new uniform is a hit, according to the folks at PBS this is the first time any major sports club has incorporated one of their characters into a professional sports marketing campaign. Ms May’eye Raisemoney from PBS headquarters said “The Tramps asked and we allowed, it’s a match made in heaven, the tramps understand PBS and we think that the tramps in time will understand us.”
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2007 Lost Knights of Revonah
Posted on : Saturday August 25 2007 by Andrew Bolin | category : news
Hanover PA - First look at the future 2007 BDFL Champions!
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Minor Updates and Fixes
Posted on : Sunday June 10 2007 by Scott Buffington | category : news
>I am beginning to fix a few things that have been broken for a while as well as add a few new features to League website. For those who read
Nitevilla, you recall I added a RSS feed for comments. The purpose of doing this is because I have a setup that notifies me when someone comments on the website, I am going to use that same setup to notify me of comments here at the BDFL website. Some folks who use feed readers also might want to keep abreast of conversations at Nitevilla or Brutal Deluxe, so I have made both feeds public. All you need to do is point your favorite feed reader at
Brutal Deluxe's News Comments RSS Feed. I also finally fixed the links to the Yahoo NFL News Headlines, located along the right side of the web page. Now when you click on these news items, you will indeed be taken to the news articles. Yahoo changed their feed format sometime last year and it was throwing the Buff RSS Plugin for a loop when generating the links.
Last year I tried to make a Trade Notification System, which is still active and lurking behind the scenes. I have a slightly better idea this year for the notification, rather than the scrolling marquee at the bottom of the page. Too many of the league owners refuse to use a better web browser, so those using IE 6 were experiencing a broken webpage. This year I am going to have something simple at the top of the page notifying you of trade offers. Might be a simple image that appears or just some text that gets your attention. I am still thinking about it.
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Middletown Officially Joins BDFL
Posted on : Tuesday April 24 2007 by Scott Buffington | category : news

(AP Sportswire - Middletown, PA) - Today the Brutal Deluxe Football League welcomed the Middletown Brewers to the BDFL. There was little fanfare at the news conference in Middletown, Pennsylvania and some sadness and hope in Hanover, Pennsylvania. The Middletown Brewers are not a new franchise, but the franchise formally known as the Hanover Hellions.
Owner Scott Buffington succumbing to pressure from S.U.C.M.A. Gamecock owner Kurt Stambaugh's assertion that the team should not be allowed to play games in both Hanover and Middletown. Stambaugh was obviously more concerned at the political correctness of the Hellion name than he was where the team played games. Capitalizing on a rule loophole, Stambaugh immediately jumped at the chance to force Buffington to change his teams nicely flowing name. Buffington denied that the Hellion name was offensive to Witches or Pagans but instead he was celebrating their bravery and strength by choosing the name Hellions. However Buffington just did not like the sound of Middletown Hellions, so he knew a team name change was in order. Stambaugh was happy upon hearing the news pointing out that now there were no more offensive team names among the league's franchises.
In Hanover the mood was somewhat somber, but at the same time many of the fans imagined how much their Hellion gear would appreciate in the coming years with no one being able to acquire the old team gear any longer. Team spirit award winner Andrew Bolin estimated he had at least one year's salary worth of Hanover Hellion gear. Bolin said that he would start to support the team he owns, the Lost Knights of Revonah from here on out. Though Bolin admitted he would always have a soft spot in his heart for the franchise formally known as the Hanover Hellions.
Starting with the 2007 Season, the team now known as the Middletown Brewers will begin play using Greenwood Hills Park as their homefield. Greenfield Hills offers fans a serene setting overlooking a lake and a wet lands sanctuary. The franchise is leaving it's longtime home field which is located next to the famed Hanover Shoe Horse Farms.
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A Knight To Remember: Hellions leave for Middletown
Posted on : Wednesday April 18 2007 by Andrew Bolin | category : news
>
(Hanover Evening Sun - Hanover, PA) As reports of the expected move north of the Hanover Hellions to Middletown PA increased through the week, a massive rally was held in downtown Hanover this evening. The rally was organized in hopes of keeping the team and it's name in Hanover by members of the Hanover Chapter of Hellion Nation. The rally began very much in favor of the teams stay. Things however soon became a bit out of control when an announcement was made by chapter president Shane Geiman. Geiman addressed the crowd and let the fans know that a move seemed eminent. An enraged crowd soon became quite vocal but this was just the tip of the ice berg to many a Hellion fan. Geiman continued to announce that he was resigning his post as chapter president effective immediately and starting a new chapter of Hellion (or soon to be named team name later) Nation in the Mount Wolf /Manchester area, where he has resided for several years now. "With the teams move to Middletown this seems like a natural choice" Geiman was quoted. This enraged the masses of Hellion fans present at the rally, things quickly started getting out of hand until Andrew Bolin Revonah Lost Knights head coach/owner took the stage. Surprising to some but known by many as a charter member of the Hellion Nation, Bolin address the crowd shortly after a large up roaring of boos and near devastation bestowed the square in downtown Hanover. Bolin quickly quieted the crowd in saying "People people you don't live in Cleveland or Baltimore for that matter....you live in Hanover". Bolin who recently brought a second team to the Hanover area continued "Why do you think I brought you a team last year? A DIVISION CHAMP and a PLAYOFF team?" "This very reason is why I brought them here. This isn't Cleveland, Baltimore, or Los Angels....you don't have to wait for another team....you have one and a damn good one!" Bolin concluded as he left the stage to tremendous roars from the once die hardend Hellion crowd. Soon after Bolin's departure the Lost Knight marching band entered the square from the north playing "Happy Days Are Here Again" as Lost Knight banners dropped from the downtown buildings with blazoned writing saying "Yes Hanover you still have a team". The evening continued on through the night with local rock bands and fellow BDFL owner Alex Harden jumping in on bass for several sets with the bands. The night climaxed with a fireworks display that put any seen at Moul Fields to shame.
Comments from Bolin after the rally:
Bolin confirmed a story that a new "Nation" will arise in the midst of the one left by the Hellions and that it's new chapter president Johnny Bag O'Doughnuts will be installed in the next few weeks.
When asked about his relationship with Buffington, will it be "torn" after the team moves? "No not at all, I have no bones with Buffy, he got me into the league, he knew he couldn't operate things here and live in M-town, he knew this was coming, we all did." said Bolin. Adding "I was a little disapointed he wasn't here tonight but I am sure he was some what concerned for his safety"
Also addressing the S.U.C.M.A. Cocks and the new rivalry. "S.U.C.M.A. Cocks, oh yes, I take great pleasure in it"
As far as Bolin's old devil horned skull cap? Bolin said "Check eBay, brother! There's an new set of head gear in town"
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Owner of Cocks Gives Hanover the Bird
Posted on : Monday April 09 2007 by Scott Buffington | category : news
>Team owner and rules committee member Kurt Stambaugh is up in arms over the team name of the Hanover Hellions. The Hellions played nearly half their home games in Middletown, Pennsylvania during the 2006 season after team offices relocated to Middletown. As a courtesy to the new hometown of owner Scott Buffington, several home games were played at Greenwood Hills Park. However, Kurt Stambaugh, a staunch advocate of political correctness, is seizing the opportunity to use a loophole in league rules, which states home games must be played in the home city of the team or the team has to formally move. Stambaugh has long been up in arms over the name the Hanover team uses. He even orchestrated a Wicca rally of Wiccan's who are offended by the Hellion team name.
"The Hanover Hellion team mascot implies that Wiccan's are grim reapers or skulls. All the fine Wiccan's I know are indeed human. The moniker the team uses implies an offensive image to myself and many others, particularly those of the Pagan or Wiccan communities. Obviously the Middletown Hellions just does not roll off the tongue so it is quite obvious a rename of the Hanover slash Middletown team is needed." Stated Kurt Stambaugh, owner of the State University of California-Malibu Adjacent Gamecocks.
It is well known that Buffington has strong ties to his beloved former hometown, Hanover, Pennsylvania. But Buffington feels equally strong about playing a handful of home games at Greenwood Hills Park. Since Buffington holds the position of league commissioner, it is expected that he will take Stambaugh's assertions seriously and indeed change the team's name.
Fans of the Hanover Hellions seem to be worried about Buffington being forced to move the team. Life long fan and team spirit award winner Andrew Bolin, who now owns his own team in the BDFL is torn.
"If the Hellions are forced to move and change their name, at least I will not catch slack from my own team for wearing my Hellions attire on team spirit day." Said Bolin wearing his Hellion devil horned hat. "It is just sad, I have been a Hellions fan ever since I can remember. Why can't those crazy liberal Californians leave us alone?" Continued Bolin. Bolin added that if his Hellions attire becomes useless due to the team moving that he would consider the S.U.C.M.A. Cocks to be arch-rivals, making it his life's goal to beat the Cocks at every opportunity.
Buffington was not available for comment, but a final ruling by the commissioner is expected by the end of April. Stambaugh has vowed to not let the issue die and said he would continue to press the commissioner to value political correctness and in turn follow league bylaws.
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Art Monk - 81 Reasons He Belongs in the Hall of Fame
Posted on : Wednesday February 07 2007 by Scott Buffington | category : news

81 Reasons to Induct Art Monk, lifted from a comment on the Art Monk Hall of Fame Campaign page.
1) 12,721 Receiving Yards (#9 all time, eight years after retirement)
2) 940 Receptions ( was #1, is now #5 eight years after retiring)
3) 68 Receiving Touchdowns (still in top 30, all time)
4) 224 Games played
5) Caught at least one pass in 183 consecutive games (once a record)
6) Helped Washington to three SB victories in four appearances.
7) Three consecutive Pro Bowl Selections
8) “Art was Jerry Rice before Jerry Rice was” – Joe Theismann
9) Record of 106 receptions in 1984 stood for eight years.
10) “Quiet about his work, very loud with his results” - Mark Rypien
11) First to record 106 receptions in one season
12) First to catch at least one pass in 164 consecutive games
13) First to catch more than 900 passes.
14) Caught 58 passes as a rookie, unanimous All-Rookie Selection
15) Redskins 1984 MVP
16) 50 or more reception in a season 9 times
17) 1,000 or more yards receiving in a season 5 times
18) Master of the medium route over the middle, aka “No Man’s Land”
19) First Redskin to produce 3 consecutive 1,000-yard seasons
20) Prototype for the modern receiver
21) 3-time 1st or 2nd team All-NFC Team selection
22) In ‘85, named to the Pro Football Weekly All-Pro Team
23) In ‘85, named to the Associated Press All-Pro Team
24) In ‘85, named to the UPI All-NFL Team
25) In ‘86, named to the UPI All-NFC Team
26) Founded the Good Samaritan Foundation, with teammates.
27) 1, 062 Playoff yards
28) Largent, Lofton and Stallworth are already in.
29) The consummate pro; made the big catch, went back to the huddle.
30) Not a “Hot Dog”; let his play on the field do all the talking.
31) Nicknamed “Money” by teammates, “Artist” by the fans
32) Founded the Student Training Opportunity Program, with teammates
33) Started the Art Monk Football Camp” in 1983, and it’s still going.
34) 16-year career, 0 arrests.
35) Named to TSN’s “100 Greatest Football Players” list
36) Never once disappointed the team or the fans, on the field or off.
37) A first round draft pick that played like a first round draft pick.
38) Has more career catches than anyone currently in the Hall.
39) Putting loud jerks in over Monk sends the wrong message to kids.
40) Art does not lobby to get himself inducted
41) First down machine on 3rd and long
42) Still holds the club record for catches in a season (106)
43) Still holds the club record for passes caught in a game (13, twice)
44) Honored as one of the “Washingtonians of the Year” in 1992
45) Focuses on the forgotten “high school aged” youth in DC.
46) “I don’t know about the criteria, but whatever it is, I believe Art has achieved it” –Joe Theismann
47) “He was big, he was strong, and he was intelligent. He had everything”-Joe Gibbs, HOF inductee
48) “Art Monk was an example for Jerry Rice. That’s what Jerry always told me.”- Ronnie Lott, HOF inductee
49) “There’s nothing negative to say. He has the numbers, the catches, the championships.” –Lott
50) “Spend a day with Art Monk, and your life will improve by 10%”- Theismann
51) “You have a Hall of Fame for all it represents. I know he represents all that it’s about. Integrity, love and passion for the game, community, what he gave back. Look how he conducted himself. Nobody I know deserves it more.” –Lott
52) If he doesn’t get in, they might as well close the Hall.
53) “There was never a classier player in this franchise’s history, or in league history, than Art Monk. You always knew the team would be getting Art Monk’s best effort day in and day out.” –Charlie Casserly
54) “Monk is headed to Canton downhill on roller skates”- Bill Parcells, 1995
55) Only one other player, linebacker Monte Coleman, has been on the field for the Redskins more than Monk.
56) Art Monk is almost as proud of his relative anonymity as he is the record-setting numbers he compiled over a 16-year NFL career.
57) When Monk spoke, it was usually with tough catches in the clutch moments of big games.
58) Nothing came naturally for Monk, who spent countless hours on the practice field and many more behind the projector.
59) I never saw Monk drop a pass. Period.
60) Monk’s 40-yard catch with eight minutes left in the first quarter of SBXXII was Doug Williams’ first completion of what would be a record setting game.
61) Named in a 1992 poll during the team’s 50th Anniversary Season as the most popular Redskin of all time.
62) Participates in a “Kid’s Fishing Day” for underprivileged kids
63) Has performed with the National Symphony Orchestra, reciting children’s fairy tales with musical accompaniment.
64) “He’s more than just his receptions. Few players have been able to achieve what he’s achieved.” –Richie Petitbon
65) “He is a gifted athlete who takes great care of himself. He’s a guy who works at his craft, and responds to any challenge. However, he does it so quietly that his accomplishments are sometimes overlooked.”- Joe Gibbs
66) Selected to the 1989 All-Madden Team
67) Early in his career, Art arranged and scheduled charity basketball games for the Redskins.
68) “I can’t see how a receiver could be more valuable to a team.” –Gibbs
69) Fame is often hard earned. Character is often elusive to define. A man of great character himself, Art Monk encompasses what it means to be a candidate for the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
70) Monk wasn’t a “SportsCenter” type of receiver — more like a “Masterpiece Theatre” type.
71) You wouldn’t see Monk pull out a Sharpie to sign a ball after scoring a touchdown.
72) “He embodied the old school, and for that alone he should be enshrined so that when a father takes his son through the Hall of Fame, he can say, “Son, here is a man who once caught 106 passes in a season when no one was catching 100 passes. Here was a man who caught a pass in 183 straight games. And not once did he ever pull a cell phone out to make a call after any of those catches.” –Thomas Loverro, Washington Times
73) Football is a game of first downs and Monk was the receiver who would move the chains.
74) He has since been passed in this pass-crazy era, but in the context of when he played, Art Monk was a Hall of Fame receiver.
75) He did this while never playing with a Hall of Fame-caliber quarterback.
76) Critics will say Monk benefited from playing in Joe Gibbs’ system. What might be the case is that the Gibbs system benefited from having Monk.
77) “I believe he’s a Hall of Famer. I was a pro scout when he was playing, so it was my job to know who those guys were. I would put Art in that category, but apparently there are a lot of Hall of Fame voters who don’t feel Art Monk was in that category. It’s hard for me to believe they ever saw him play.” –Bill Polian, President Indianapolis Colts
78) He was the anti-Terrell Owens.
79) He was the standard-bearer, the mold-maker and the receiver every team of his era wished they’d had.
80) He’s already a Hall Of Famer off the field.
81) It’s time.
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2006 Brutal Deluxe Football League Top 100
Posted on : Saturday January 20 2007 by Scott Buffington | category : news
>Wk#1 through Wk#13
* indicates the player is available
Sort by:Fantasy Points/Starter Points/Average Fantasy Points
------------------------------------------------------------
Strt Fan Avg
# Pos Player NFL Bye Pts Pts Pts
1 RB TOMLINSON,LADAINIAN SD 3 335 335 27.92
2 Def CHICAGO CHI 7 268 268 22.33
3 QB MANNING,PEYTON IND 6 256 256 21.33
4 Def BALTIMORE BAL 7 251 251 20.92
5 RB JOHNSON,LARRY KC 3 245 245 20.42
6 QB BREES,DREW NO 7 174 240 20.00
7 QB VICK,MICHAEL ATL 5 156 235 19.58
8 QB PALMER,CARSON CIN 5 223 223 18.58
9 QB MCNABB,DONOVAN PHI 9 222 222 22.20
10 Def MINNESOTA MIN 6 103 213 17.75
11 QB BRADY,TOM NE 6 137 206 17.17
12 Def MIAMI MIA 8 43 206 17.17
13 Def SAN DIEGO SD 3 205 205 17.08
14 * Def OAKLAND OAK 3 0 203 16.92
15 QB BULGER,MARC STL 7 202 202 16.83
16 Def DALLAS DAL 3 101 198 16.50
17 * Def SEATTLE SEA 5 68 192 16.00
18 Def PITTSBURGH PIT 4 191 191 17.36
19 RB JACKSON,STEVEN STL 7 190 190 15.83
20 Def NEW ENGLAND NE 6 105 190 15.83
21 RB WESTBROOK,BRIAN PHI 9 177 189 17.18
22 Def JACKSONVILLE JAX 6 158 184 16.73
23 QB RIVERS,PHILIP SD 3 80 183 15.25
24 QB MANNING,ELI NYG 4 146 179 14.92
25 RB PARKER,WILLIE PIT 4 178 178 14.83
26 Def PHILADELPHIA PHI 9 41 176 14.67
27 QB KITNA,JON DET 8 89 174 14.50
28 Def BUFFALO BUF 8 36 173 14.42
29 QB FAVRE,BRETT GB 6 4 173 14.42
30 Def CAROLINA CAR 9 74 171 14.25
31 Def NEW YORK NYG 4 71 171 14.25
32 Def DENVER DEN 4 40 170 14.17
33 * Def ARIZONA ARI 9 36 170 14.17
34 * Def GREEN BAY GB 6 0 169 14.08
35 Def NEW ORLEANS NO 7 102 167 13.92
36 Def INDIANAPOLIS IND 6 90 167 13.92
37 RB GORE,FRANK SF 7 166 166 13.83
38 Def KANSAS CITY KC 3 74 164 13.67
39 * Def ST. LOUIS STL 7 25 163 13.58
40 * Def CLEVELAND CLE 6 0 160 13.33
41 Def ATLANTA ATL 5 114 158 13.17
42 QB DELHOMME,JAKE CAR 9 83 158 13.17
43 QB GROSSMAN,REX CHI 7 52 158 13.17
44 * Def SAN FRANCISCO SF 7 0 157 13.08
45 * Def NEW YORK NYJ 9 0 157 13.08
46 Def CINCINNATI CIN 5 122 154 12.83
47 RB BARBER,TIKI NYG 4 153 153 12.75
48 WR JOHNSON,CHAD CIN 5 144 153 12.75
49 * Def TENNESSEE TEN 7 0 152 12.67
50 * QB MCNAIR,STEVE BAL 7 1 151 12.58
51 RB TAYLOR,CHESTER MIN 6 150 150 12.50
52 QB YOUNG,VINCE(R) TEN 7 0 149 13.55
53 * Def HOUSTON HOU 5 0 149 12.42
54 WR WAYNE,REGGIE IND 6 114 147 12.25
55 RB ADDAI,JOSEPH(R) IND 6 142 146 12.17
56 QB CARR,DAVID HOU 5 89 145 12.08
57 QB ROETHLISBERGER,BEN PIT 4 37 145 13.18
58 QB ROMO,TONY DAL 3 77 142 11.83
59 * Def DETROIT DET 8 0 142 11.83
60 QB PENNINGTON,CHAD NYJ 9 69 141 11.75
61 RB JOHNSON,RUDI CIN 5 140 140 11.67
62 WR JACKSON,DARRELL SEA 5 138 138 11.50
63 * Def TAMPA BAY TB 4 38 138 11.50
64 RB BARBER,MARION DAL 3 124 137 11.42
65 RB MCALLISTER,DEUCE NO 7 109 137 11.42
66 RB JONES,KEVIN DET 8 108 137 12.45
67 WR SMITH,STEVE CAR 9 136 136 13.60
68 QB LOSMAN,J.P. BUF 8 29 136 11.33
69 WR OWENS,TERRELL DAL 3 135 135 11.25
70 WR WALKER,JAVON DEN 4 97 135 11.25
71 QB SMITH,ALEX SF 7 23 135 11.25
72 WR HOLT,TORRY STL 7 134 134 11.17
73 QB FRYE,CHARLIE CLE 6 22 129 10.75
74 RB TAYLOR,FRED JAX 6 111 128 10.67
75 WR HARRISON,MARVIN IND 6 127 127 10.58
76 WR DRIVER,DONALD GB 6 125 127 10.58
77 * QB PLUMMER,JAKE DEN 4 1 127 10.58
78 * Def WASHINGTON WAS 8 15 126 10.50
79 * QB HUARD,DAMON KC 3 0 125 13.89
80 WR JOHNSON,ANDRE HOU 5 124 124 10.33
81 WR COLSTON,MARQUES(R) NO 7 81 124 12.40
82 RB JONES-DREW,MAURICE(R) JAX 6 93 123 10.25
83 RB DUNN,WARRICK ATL 5 122 122 10.17
84 RB JONES,THOMAS CHI 7 121 121 10.08
85 RB GREEN,AHMAN GB 6 108 121 12.10
86 RB BROWN,RONNIE MIA 8 120 120 10.91
87 WR WILLIAMS,ROY DET 8 120 120 10.00
88 QB HASSELBECK,MATT SEA 5 67 120 15.00
89 * QB HARRINGTON,JOEY MIA 8 0 118 14.75
90 WR HOUSHMANDZADEH,T.J. CIN 5 115 115 11.50
91 RB HENRY,TRAVIS TEN 7 62 114 11.40
92 RB LEWIS,JAMAL BAL 7 53 113 9.42
93 QB LEINART,MATT(R) ARI 9 43 113 12.56
94 RB DILLON,COREY NE 6 112 112 9.33
95 WR BURRESS,PLAXICO NYG 4 108 112 10.18
96 PK GOULD,ROBBIE CHI 7 98 112 9.33
97 WR EVANS,LEE BUF 8 98 111 9.25
98 WR BOLDIN,ANQUAN ARI 9 92 111 9.25
99 * QB BRUNELL,MARK WAS 8 13 111 12.33
100 RB JONES,JULIUS DAL 3 110 110 9.17
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Saints in the Playoffs
Posted on : Wednesday January 10 2007 by Andrew Bolin | category : news
New Orleans Playoff Appearances:
Year Round Opponent Score Result Location
1987 Wild Card Minnesota 44-10 Loss Home
1990 Wild Card Chicago 16-6 Loss Away
1991 Wild Card Atlanta 27-20 Loss Home
1992 Wild Card Philadelphia 36-20 Loss Home
2000 Wild Card St. Louis 31-28 Win Home
2000 Divisional Minnesota 31-16 Loss Away
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Ron Dayne Immortalized Brutal Bowl V MVP
Posted on : Thursday December 28 2006 by Scott Buffington | category : news

(AP Sportswire - Denver, CO) - The fifth BDFL season completed with John Elway's Teeth defeating the heavily favored Hated Theismann's Legs, 108 to 91. The game was particularly huge for Ron Dayne who keyed an otherwise sluggish Elway's Teeth offense. Bill Temple who a week earlier masterfully restructured his entire defense on his way to a semi-final victory this time not only again changed his defense, but he picked Ron Dayne from the waiver wire just days prior to Brutal Bowl V. Who would have thought that Ron Dayne would not only see major time in the championship game, but dominate it?
The BDFL routinely awards the Brutal Bowl MVP award in the days following the game and this season Ron Dayne was today awarded the MVP. Dayne, a Heisman Trophy winner, has had a disappointing pro career, but with a Brutal Bowl MVP award he is now immortalized in BDFL history.
The championship was the crowning achievement for Bill Temple who not only made some bold moves to win multiple BDFL playoff games but also beat the Hated Legs after owner Tom Steck guaranteed victory. Tom Steck has since denied making the guarantee, but he did successfully earn his team yet another opponent who hates his team. Temple after the game said that he had no hard feelings toward Tom Steck and denied hating Tom Steck's Theismann's Legs.
"Nah, I understand his confidence, I mean look at my quarterbacks. So no I do not hate the Hated Legs", said Temple.
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The Hated Legs Broken By John Elway's Teeth
Posted on : Tuesday December 26 2006 by Alex Harden | category : news
The Eagles-Cowboys game turned out to be as important to the two teams in Brutal Bowl V as it was to the two NFL teams that played it. The consistent Brian Westbrook (double-digit BDFL points in almost every start this year) led John Elway's teeth to the coveted BDFL Hood Ornament for the first time. Theismann's Legs' feared RB combo of LJ and LT was held to 32 points, their second-to-lowest non-bye-week combination of the season. This and the huge game by the KC defense were other contributors to the Teeth's victory. Congrats to Coach Bill Temple!
Thanks to everyone for another fun BDFL season! I believe we're the best fantasy football league in the world. Kudos to Commissioner Scott Buffington for another smoothly-run season!
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Do You Believe in Miracles?
Posted on : Monday December 25 2006 by Andrew Bolin | category : news
Yes Virgina...there is a Santa Claus! If John Elway's Teeth have anything to say about it, after the jolly old elf delievered a huge package a day early in the form of Ron Dayne. Dayne(27 BDFL points) left the league asking LT who? Going into tonight's action just seven points seperate the two teams, Teeth 96 - Legs 89, battling it out for the Brutal Bowl . The Teeth have a fellow running back Brian Westbrook left, while the Hated Legs have wide reciever Reggie Brown. Is there any magic left? We'll just have to wait and see...by the looks of it anything can happen!
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Tom Steck Guarantees Victory
Posted on : Wednesday December 20 2006 by Scott Buffington | category : news

(AP Sportswire - Washington, DC) - We are a mere three days away from Brutal Bowl V and the media has flooded into Washington, DC to witness the top ranked Hated Legs face John Elway's Teeth. This battle of the body parts has really been heating up as both teams have been acting as if they own the town. The Teeth's Ron Mexico and Matt Hasselbeck have been parading all over town, clubbing it up. The two quarterbacks have been talking about how the Teeth's two headed monster, pointing to themselves are the primary reason for the team's success. On the other side, Tom Steck has been doing all the talking and we have yet to see if he can do the walking.
Earlier this evening this reporter was able to arrange an interview with Tom Steck who certainly plays the part of a BDFL owner quite well. He picked this reporter up in a jet black Mustang and invited me out on the town to see how the Hated Legs owner plays the town. Owner Tom Steck was clad in an expensive leather jacket and cruised the town, scoping the ladies and living the good life. Steck drove to a nearby club where a table is always reserved for him and we took a seat. Shortly after taking our seats Tom Steck spotted Ron Mexico and Matt Hasselbeck who for some odd reason was sporting a bandanna on his head drawing quite a crowd. Ron was boasting and posing for pictures, as Matt Hasselbeck flashed gang signs at his side. The two quarterbacks were using I a lot and laughing and dancing about the bar area.
I pointed out to Tom that Mexico and Hasselbeck looked pretty confident and pressed Steck for his feelings. At that moment Steck sipped his umbrellaed Shirley Temple and said, "They look pretty confident for two guys that are going to spend Brutal Bowl Sunday on the DC turf!" I asked Steck if I could quote him on that and he continued, "Not only can you quote me on that, you can quote me as saying that I guarantee victory. The only question yet to be answered is whether the plaque will read the Hated Legs or Theismann's Legs."
We have had players shave their heads in support of franchises, players promise to play better, players that miraculously turned into goats before our eyes. But I do believe an owner guaranteeing victory may be a first. Tune in this holiday weekend to see if the Hated Legs can scramble past the chomping John Elway's Teeth.
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Deluxe Football Conference Champs!
Posted on : Sunday December 17 2006 by Andrew Bolin | category : news
On behalf of the Deluxe Football Conference, it's members, teams and owners. We congratulate John Elway's Teeth on their victory over the defending Brutal Bowl champions the Steel Curtainites and the conference championship. Best of luck next week verses the Legs. We look forward to seeing you bring another championship to the Deluxe Football Conference. The best conference in the BDFL!
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Brutal Bowl V
Posted on : Sunday December 17 2006 by Scott Buffington | category : news
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(AP Sportswire) - All that is left is the dotting of "i's" and crossing of the "t's" as the Hated Theismann's Legs and John Elway's Teeth both won their semi-final matchups. The Hated Legs defeated The Tramps in a workman like performance that saw the Hated Legs doing what they have done all season, running over opponents with LT. John Elway's Teeth smashed the defending champion Steel Curtainites with a huge defensive performance and a good quarterbacking performance from Ron Mexico as well as a big rushing performance by fast Willie Parker.
The victory by John Elway's Teeth guaranteed that a new team will grace the BDFL Championship Trophy. The Hated Legs have been a favorite for several years and have always fallen short. Having finally made the championship game with perhaps the most feared rushing attack in BDFL history, the Hated Legs are an early favorite in Vegas. John Elway's Teeth have been putting up large point totals all season long, they have a much more balanced attack than the Hated Legs, but who can argue with success.
Christmas weekend will see the fifth Brutal Bowl played, be sure to tune in for this battle of the body parts. Who will win, the legs of Theismann or the teeth of John Elway?
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BD Week 14 Podcast Delayed
Posted on : Thursday December 14 2006 by Alex Harden | category : news
>Scott and I recorded the podcast for this week a day late; it'll be up later today.
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Press Release
Posted on : Thursday December 07 2006 by Andrew Bolin | category : news
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Lost Knights of Revonah
Front Offices
Hanover, PA 17331
PRESS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
December 7, 2006 23:30:00EST
As this report was released and came to my attention during a break in this weeks early action, all I can say is the Lost Knights organization and the Hanover Borough Water Works know of no such tampering of the "drinking water" before the start of this weeks game.
The accused however, Commissioner Buffington is in attendance of this weeks game in Hanover. Since the two teams share the stadium here in Hanover for home games, Buffington has exclusive availability year round to his 50 yard line luxury box.
I am assured by my people and Dale Ault (Knights season ticket holder and friend) Commissioner of the Water Department, that the water in Hanover is fine.
Big Ben had a great night to night and looked fine......Reuben Droughns however did look like he was doing a lot of running and not between the hashes.
Again let me assure the Steelcurtainites and fans that our water is fine.
The Lost Knights of Ravonah
Head Coach/Owner
Andrew R. Bolin
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Steel Curtainite Gate
Posted on : Thursday December 07 2006 by Mike Amoroso | category : news

(AP Sportswire, Steeltown USA) Smiles are plenty in Steeltown, 2006 marks the fifth straight season the Steel Curtainites reached the playoffs, a league record, and are seeking an unprecedented fourth title in five years.
“It’s a great time to be playing football.” Coach Amoroso stated as he posed for fans during the annual Curtainite Playoff Fanfest. It’s been an up and down year both on and off the field, but our team stayed focused. We accomplished our first goal of making the playoffs and have two more to reach.” Coach Amoroso could not be reached for further comments as he wanted to get back to the festivities at Fanfest.
In a related story that broke earlier today which seemingly can explain the Curtainites mid season stumble, the AP Newsroom learned that a double secret investigation has been taking place in the Mid Penn Division in the Brutal Football Conference of the BDFL. The investigation started when league founder and team owner Scott Buffington and Brutal Deluxe Podcast Host and team owner Alex Harden called the entire league together to collectively put an end to the Steel Curtainites’ reign of dominance.
Earlier while investigators spoke with the only three time Brutal Deluxe Bowl champion coach, Coach Amoroso commented, “We win. There isn’t much else to say. I think people don’t like us because we have three trophies and three rings while our closest competition has one. Commenting on why the team and organization is so successful, Amoroso stated, “Our team has resolve. A lot of things get said about us during the year and teams put there best against us, but when the dust settles, more time than not, we are the ones left standing. We have seen teams come and go, rule changes, realignment, wannabe champs fold under pressure, jawing, but we keep making the playoffs and winning championships. If anything, Coach Buffington and Harden’s comments fueled us to be more dominant.”
The investigation centers around the three week stretch after the notorious calling of the league. The Curtainites surprisingly lost three straight games to, none other than the Mid Penn Division where Buffington and Harden’s teams reside. Coach Amoroso commented, “We were dumbfounded, the Legs beating us, okay, they are doing some good things there, but the Hellions and the Outlets..,something was amiss.” Amoroso went on to say, “We started dissecting our game plans and found one common thread after the losses...the drinking water.” After testing, it turns out that the Steel Curtainites drinking water for those games appeared to have been tampered with. Amoroso was quoted as saying, “We are not sure at this point what the contaminant was, but I know our players had to use the restrooms 10 fold on those game days compared to any other Sunday. It was literally a blow to all of us, we couldn’t concentrate. During that stretch, we burned, and I mean burned, seven timeouts for poor Eli alone. His cramps where coming and going so often that he couldn’t string together more than three consecutive minutes of playing time.”
Eli was quoted as saying, “We didn’t need points we needed Depends. You try playing when your cramped up and calling plays in the huddle and exerting toxic gases, all you can think about is not cutting loose on the field. It was tough.” The investigator probing the matter could not comment further because the case is still open, but vowed to one day uncover the mystery.
Before Coach Amoroso could get away, one last question was posed as far as a prediction for this year’s playoff run. Coach Amoroso stated while boarding the team bus, words that rang familiar, “We play our brand of football and we set the tone and nobody, nobody changes that. As long as we stay focused and keep Buffington and Harden away from our drinking water, we should be fine.”
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Outlets Ready For Playoffs
Posted on : Tuesday December 05 2006 by Alex Harden | category : news

[AP Sportswire, Harrisburg, PA] BDFL team Cyg's Calorie Outlets are set to appear in the BDFL playoffs for the first time after posting their first winning season, which was punctuated by a victory over The Hated Legs in their final regular-season game. Outlets WR Keyshawn Johnson, the lone Monday-night player of the matchup, called Coach Alex "Cyg" Harden early yesterday to guarantee victory. "Just give me the damn ball and I'll get those 9 points, " Johnson reportedly said. According to sources close to Coach Harden, Johnson wanted to make the guarantee public, but Harden ordered silence. "No one expected us to beat the Legs this week," Harden said, "let's make this a surprise."
Led by first-round-pick Chicago Bears' Defense (268 BDFL points), the Outlets finished this season the opposite of the last two with an 8-5 record. In their first BDFL playoff game ever, they host a 6-6-1 Tramps team that beat them soundly in week eight, 122-69. "The only thing good about our performance in that game was that particular point total, " Harden chuckled. "We had a lot of performances that just didn't add up that week."
With franchise QB Donovan McNabb on IR, the Outlets are still looking for consistency at that position. Two-week starter J.P. Losman faces a Jets defense that yielded over 300 yards and two TDs to him earlier this season, but Harden isn't convinced Losman can bring home the coveted BDFL Hood Ornament. However, he's looking at other players to pick up their game. After a few injury-plagued weeks, WR Santana Moss could be back in the starting lineup for the playoffs. However, this Outlets team is built around a solid running game (three RBs have more than 110 BDFL points each) and a smothering defense. The Outlets are hungry and are looking for some fresh meat this playoff season
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K-nites III: Knights vs Curtainites In First Round of Playoffs
Posted on : Tuesday December 05 2006 by Andrew Bolin | category : news

(USA TODAY SPORTS Hanover, PA) - For the third time this season these two battle hardened teams will meet yet again. The Steel Curtainites have handled the Knights in their first two divisional games. Most recently a 116 to 89 drubbing.
"Every time you lose, you die a little bit inside. Not all your organs, maybe just your liver and then a lung… winning is living … losing is slow death." Coach Bolin was heard saying to his Knights during today's team meeting.
The Knights with their final regular season victory over the Tramps gave them their first Mid American Division Championship and a first round home playoff game.
"If this doesn't light your fire men the pilot light's out, this team is coming into our place in our town...they're standing in our way!" said a fired up Coach Bolin. "Where else would you rather be than right here, right now! If we die...we die together...you can get it done...you can get it done...once more you gotta get it done."
The streets of Hanover are already filling up with Green and Red.....humm? Towns all over the world are filling up with Green and Red in support of the Lost Knights. "You didn't think I pick those colors at random did you?" Joked Bolin. "It's that time of season...playoff season!"
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Yossarians: Deju Vu All Over Again
Posted on : Tuesday December 05 2006 by Chuck Hoyes | category : news

Dateline:
Mt. Holly Springs, PA
For a lot of Yossarian fans, the past several weeks have been eerily reminiscent of the miraculous 2004 season in which the team overcame a 0-5 start to sneak in the backdoor ultimately out-hustle the playoff bracket to enter the that exclusive club of Brutal Bowl Champions. The team is riding the longest active win streak in the league and if not for a league-high 2 ties (one of which a result of a very hung-over head coach), would have claimed its second consecutive division title as a result of its 3-1 division record.
Though the Yossarians have been in this position before, the team seems to understand that they are facing an uphill battle for sure. When asked about the team’s pathetic 28.74 power ranking (lowest of all playoff teams), Kicker Jeff Wilkins, one of two current team members from that Brutal Bowl Championship squad, responded, “It’s a bit of a concern, yeah. There are a lot of good teams out there. We need to step up. We need to execute. We need to play within ourselves and take it one game at a time. We can’t look ahead. We’re in the driver’s seat. You win or go home. There’s no tomorrow. We’re peaking at the right time and hopefully Jesus will help us meet our goal of nothing less than a championship.” Wilkins, obviously stuck in a cliché loop, eventually pointed out that the 2004 team actually had a lower power ranking than the current team.
The other holdover from the championship team, running back Shaun Alexander, says he learned a long time ago not to doubt Coach Hoyes. “You gotta remember I was on that infamous 2003 team that led the league in narcotic violations and suspensions. Our kicker was feeding the date-rape drug to pre-teens for chrissakes! We had the worse record in the league that year and then we started the next season off 0-5. But we turned that around to a championship and made the playoffs the last 3 seasons.”
When asked about the playoff berth Coach Hoyes said, “I have no idea how that works. But if they say we made it, then I guess we did. Who are we playing?” When asked about his team’s chances, he responded, “We’re getting healthy at the right time. Shaun Alexander wasn’t praying hard enough for God to fix his foot so we asked the Pope to say a mass for Shaun’s foot. That day Shaun went 40-201. Coincidence? We’ve got a few more masses scheduled for Rex Grossman to throw more to Bernard Berrian and one schedule to fix Cadillac Williams’, well, to fix everything about Cadillac Williams, he stinks.” Coach Hoyes refused to answer when asked if he had any surprise moves in store for the playoff run simply stating, “Depends on the Pope.” 1 comment
Posted on : Monday December 04 2006 by Andrew Bolin | category : news
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Lost Knights make Holidays brighter for Tramps mascot.
Posted on : Thursday November 30 2006 by Andrew Bolin | category : news

(AP Sportswire Easley, South Carolina) - This weeks Tramps opponent The Lost Knights of Revonah have made a generous donation to "Hobo" the Tramps mascot.
After arriving in town for this weekend's match up, the Lost Knights' Coach Bolin became aware of the mascots horrifying story.
Three weeks ago, after the Tramps last home game and 77-58 victory over the Steel Curtianities, "Hobo's" family was kidnapped by ninjas. "Hobo" who is in desperate need of karate lessons to save his family was seen outside Tramps stadium with a sign telling his plight. Coach Bolin approached the mascot upon arriving for a "walk through" at the stadium. After speaking with the ragamuffin Coach Bolin reached in his pocket and handed him a $5 bill. "I wished him luck and told him he could keep the change" Bolin said. "I know life is tough down here south of the Mason Dixon" added Bolin "It's the least my organization can do."
Several calls were made to the Tramps front office for a response. Their returned calls only said that they were unaware of the situation. "It must have gotten lost in the excitement of making the play-offs" a spokesman was quoted. "We've been on the road for the last 2 weeks, "Hobo" doesn't join us for the road games, he has a fear of flying and usually sticks to the roads and rails, this is the first we are aware of it"
Fans are left wondering why the organization would abandon "Hobo" in his time of need. "He's a lovable Tramp" said one local fan. The fan who decline to be idenified, having a sign of her own as she stood outside the stadium reading "Anyone But Amoroso" concluded that she wished the Tramps organization would have acted quicker to help the poor vagabond. "I'm just happy Coach Bolin from the Knights helped him, it says a lot for him being a new owner in the league."
The Tramps(6-5-1) host the Lost Knights(6-5-1) this weekend at Tramps Stadium in the final game of the regular season.
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World United, Anyone But Amoroso
Posted on : Wednesday November 29 2006 by Scott Buffington | category : news

(AP Sportswire, Iowa City, Iowa) - As the Brutal Deluxe Football League nears the end of another season, the World, which mainly fights about everything from religion and politics to global warming have found a common cause. That cause, spurred on by BDFL fanatic,
TV's Don Becker, is "Anyone But Amoroso". Becker, a life long State University of California-Malibu Adjacent Gamecocks fan, has had it with Amoroso declaring himself a genius every year.
"The final straw was the push by Mike Amoroso to have the BDFL Championship Trophy officially named, The Amoroso Trophy", said Don Becker on this weeks Don Becker Show, starring Don Becker. Becker continued, "Never, and I mean never have I seen anyone want their name splashed on more stuff than Amoroso. Well except for that guy over at Nitevilla.net who names everything he does after himself."
Becker was fired up and he declared that he was starting a battle cry, "Anyone But Amoroso". The cry caught on across America and by mid-week the United Nations called an emergency meeting in which everyone agreed, "Anyone But Amoroso." An AP Poll on Tuesday night found all 442,042 polled except for a lone anonymous voter from Steel City were for "Anyone But Amoroso". Becker vowed to make it his life's work to continue to fight against Amoroso and his blatant name labeling.
"I plan to use my website, DonBecker.org and my TV show, The Don Becker Show, starring Don Becker to fight this kind of behavior", roared a rowdy Don Becker infront of a large crowd at the annual Don Becker Day rally in his hometown. Becker gave this heartfelt sign off on this weeks show, "Won't you help stop name abuse use? For more information check DonBecker.org and show your support for, Anyone But Amoroso. Until next week, this is Don Becker and thank you for watching The Don Becker Show, starring myself, Don Becker."
The response has been huge, there is not a BDFL town where you do not see "Anyone But Amoroso" signs. Mike Amoroso was not available for comment, but he was sighted leaving a trophy display store early in the week and MikeAmoroso.com pointed out that Mike Amoroso's coaching rank was tops in the BDFL. Still, this reporter finds "Anyone But Amoroso kind of catchy and supports it as well.
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Hanover Gearing Up for Festive Football Madness
Posted on : Tuesday November 21 2006 by Andrew Bolin | category : news

(AP Sportswire, Hanover, PA) - One of the greatest single days for football fans around the country, this year's turkey day kick-off may never have had so much playoff implications as it does for this years local BDFL teams. The Hanover Hellions and Lost Knights of Revonah are coming into this weekend's action with must win situations to secure play-off spots.
The Hellions(3-7-1), with newly acquired GM Mr T, are riding into the weekend after a stunning upset over division foe Cyg's Calorie Outlets. Despite their dismal record the Hellions are still in the thick of the hunt for the BDFL's final BFC seed. The Hellions face their fellow division rival and leader The Hated Legs at Hellions Stadium, head coach Scott Buffington is confident about his teams chances "I'm going in (the playoffs) as a bottom seed, I WILL beat The Heated Legs in week one of the playoffs". A bold statement from a team that needs to beat the Hated Legs on the road to the playoffs. The Yodelin' Yossarians(3-6-2) currently hold a half game lead for the final BFC spot. A victory and a Yossarians loss to The Tramps will help the Hellions cause, keeping them alive for their final game of the regular season with the struggling Baltimore Banyanators.
The Lost Knights(6-4-1) whose road to the playoffs, much less dramatic than that of the Hellions, is as simple as win and you're in. Unfortunately for the Knights they must face defending league champ and divisional foe The Steel Curtainties(5-6) who are also fighting for a spot in the playoffs in the BDFL's DFC. The Curtainites handed the Lost Knights their 2nd loss of the season in week two 108-77.
"We've all been chomping at the bit since week two to play these guys again" said Coach Bolin "I've had this weekend circled on the calendar, it's pay back time!" If the Knights win this weekend they lock up a playoff spot and secure the Mid American Division championship.
The Knights have been on a roll since week 4 of the BDFL season, going unbeaten over the last seven weeks.
Coach Bolin has declared a "WHITE OUT" at this weeks game against the Curtainites asking all Lost Knight fans coming to the stadium to wear their white jersey's, shirts, hats, and the like to help support the team. He is also asking for a "CALL OUT" from two popular local pod casters for this weeks game.
Other action in Hanover this weekend. The junior circuit of the BDFL, BDFL Experimental, the 8-3 Experimental Knights play host to 8-3 Fútbol Americano. Both teams are locked up for the league lead with just two regular season games remaining. One team will come away with the edge for top seed in the Experimental playoffs.
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Outlets' New Passer: Losman?
Posted on : Monday November 20 2006 by Alex Harden | category : news

[AP Sportswire, Harrisburg, PA] As previously reported, Cyg's Calorie Outlets starting quarterback Donovan McNabb has been lost for the season with a torn ligament in his right knee. Ironically, on the same day Outlets backup QB J.P. Losman put up his best single-game point total (30) of the season in a performance that scorched the bench. Of course, this begs the question: Will Losman start in next week's matchup against John Elway's Teeth? Will he be the Outlets' QB in their Cinderella playoff run?
At a press conference today Outlets coach Alex "Cyg" Harden, unaccustomed to playoff preparations, seemed perplexed by the thought of starting a QB other than McNabb in this year's playoffs. "Donovan's been a rock for us almost every week this season," Harden said. "KJ picked up the slack during his mandatory week off, but when he's shown up, he's played his tail off." When asked about McNabb's replacement, Harden offered, "of course, we're going to give Jeff Garcia a look. But at this point, it's J.P.'s job to lose." Thinking back on that statement, the coach quipped, "Actually, I hope he helps us win."
Losman faces the Jaguars and Chargers at home to wrap up the BDFL regular season. He has a chance to do well in both games, but Harden is realistic. "We may give out another gift week or two to our rivals, but this team is going to be ready for the playoffs." Leaving the podium, he said, "Tell Coach Buffington there's a seat with his name on it at our first playoff game."
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Sunday a painful day for BDFL quarterbacks
Posted on : Monday November 20 2006 by Andrew Bolin | category : news

(AP Sportswire, Hanover PA) - While cross town rival Hanover Hellions benefited from their opponent's quarterback injury, Lost Knights fans are left scratching their heads over Coach Bolin's decision to start Bret Favre in this weeks game.
Favre left the field holding his right elbow late in the second quarter. Coach Bolin was heard saying on the sidelines "well at least he didn't leave on a cart".
Later Bolin explained his logic for the Favre start "What would you all be saying now had I started Kyle and he was the one getting hurt." "We need Brady healthy for the play-offs" added Bolin. "The last I checked this is a Team game, we don't rely or need one or two guys scoring 30+ points each for us to be in a position to WIN." Despite the loss of Brady's bench points, The Lost Knights hold a commanding 41 point lead going into tonight's conclusion verses The Nitschke's. "They have a lot of points to catch up to us and Tiki (Barber) is gearing up now to pad our lead tonight" Bolin concluded.
Although Bolin wouldn't confirm it, many feel the start was a nod to Favre and Nitschke's ties to the Packers. Earlier in the week coach Bolin was quoted in saying "who better to lead our Team against a Packer than a Packer".
The biggest blow came in Cyg's Stadium, where the Calorie Outlets' McNabb suffered a torn ligament in his right knee after tumbling out of bounds in what appears to be a loss to the Hanover Hellions.
''That's normally an eight-month-to-a-year injury,'' Outlets coach Alex Harden said of McNabb's torn ACL, ''so he's done for the year.''
That puts McNabb's timetable for recovery anywhere between July and the middle of next season.
It's the third time in five years McNabb's season ended early, and with his average 22.2 points per game gone the Outlets chances of moving deep in the play-offs seem bleak.
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Hellions Realize, You Cannot Spell Success Without T
Posted on : Sunday November 19 2006 by Scott Buffington | category : news

(AP Sportswire, Hanover) - The Hanover Hellions this week realized they faced a tough decision. They needed to look at their organization and figure out what was wrong. It was a tough week, they had to take a hard look at themselves and find out what mistakes the organization had made from the top down. Lastly, as an organization they had to figure out how they were going to fix the mistakes and take action.
First and foremost the Hellions needed an outside source to lead them on this evaluation. They decided to bring in the one guy that did not sugar coat the truth and make that guy General Manager. The Hanover Hellions owner, late Tuesday night placed a call to a man that he had looked up to as a child. Scott Buffington picked up the phone and called Mr. T. and was ready to do what he had to do to fix what was wrong with his beloved Hellions team.
"I realized that I must have made some mistakes with the organization and that I had to take responsibility for the mistakes I made", said Buffington. Buffington continued saying, "I had a T-shirt and I emphasize the T when I was a kid with Mr. T flexing his bicep printed right on the front. Man I loved that t-shirt. I wore it until it flaked entirely away. You remember when t-shirts used to do that?"
Buffington was not surprised by the message that Mr. T delivered to him. After careful analysis of everything that has gone on in the Hellions organization Mr. T came up with one conclusion. He felt that the Hanover Hellions needed to play Cyg's Calorie Outlets and that doing so would show the light and bring the Hellions closer toward that first step in improving themselves.
"I looked at the league and after carefully looking at all the teams, all I can say is that I pity the fool that is not playing Cyg's Calorie Outlets. It was easy to see, this team, Cyg's Calorie Outlets was the answer to any teams problems", said Mr. T.
The Hellions followed Mr. T's advice and not surprisingly it worked! Soon afterwards the Hanover Hellions brought Mr. T on board as their official General Manager. Before the game was even over the Hellions had found victory and with victory, found success.
"The Hanover Hellions learned a valuable lesson. You cannot spell success without T", said Mr. T.
2 comments
Tramps Awarded Win For Week 3
Posted on : Friday September 29 2006 by Scott Buffington | category : news
>There was an error made by the statisticians tracking the Sunday night game. With 2:31 remaining in the third quarter, Benjamin Watson was credited with a 12-yard reception. But that catch was actually made by tight end Daniel Graham. So the following stats changes have been made:
* Watson: from 6 receptions for 66 yards to 5 for 54 yards
* Graham: from 1 reception for 7 yards to 2 for 19 yards.
This error was corrected earlier this week and it just came to my attention today. Now most box scores reflect this change as well. So I have updated the stats for the BDFL. As a result, the game between the Hanover Hellions and the Tramps is no longer a tie. The Tramps won 112 points to the Hellions 111 points. If you still notice the old score anywhere, be aware that it will update at the conclusion to this weeks games. The standings page already reflects the correct outcome.
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Tramps Dangle Bell?
Posted on : Friday September 29 2006 by Ray Vampran | category : news
>
Tramps Dangle Bell?
As Reported by The Easley Progress
Undefeated after three weeks in the BDFL sounds great, but for the struggling Tramps 1-0-2, this season is anything but grand. The team has two quarterbacks currently on their roster and neither one of them has stepped up to prove they are the leader. “We basically have a two headed monster at this point” said Coach Vamp.
But the real weakness of this team appears to be the questionable Wide Receivers position. Javon Walker and Derrick Mason have both stepped up their games, but have yet to provide any real confidence among the coaching staff. Hines Ward has been hobbled by injuries and his production has been an area of concern for the offensive minded Tramps. “Any time you have healthy Hines Ward in the lineup you have a chance of having a fantastic fantasy week, we as a football staff have to get Hines healthy”, Coach Vamp recently said at his weekly press conference.
The concerns over Hines Ward health prompted the Tramps to acquire the often-distractible Randy Moss off waivers from the Hellions this pass Thursday. “ Randy will start this week, we need to see what he has left in the tank”, Coach Vamp said when asked about the controversial Wide Receiver. Coach Vamp elaborated “ Randy was a keeper in this league a few years back, we need production from the wide outs on our football squad and Randy has proven in the past he is capable of producing.”
Even with the Moss pickup and the anticipation of a healthy Hines Ward sources close to the Tramps situation have heard rumblings about the notion of moving running back Tatum Bell for a emerging receiver or a establish hard throwing quarterback. Coach Vamp even went so far as to say “ Look at the strength of this team, we have the best running backs in our history as a franchise!” “Tatum is a big part of that, so is DeShaun Foster, both of these guys could bring us much needed depth.” “ Edgerrin James and Ronnie Brown are our workhorses and that means Tatum and DeShaun have to wait in line to get carries.” “ Tatum and DeShaun are both too valuable to be inactive on any BDFL roster!” It should also come as no surprise to anyone familiar with the Tramps organization that Coach Vamp did not mention rookie Jerious Norwood. Coach Vamp has been long enamored by Norwood and has done everything in his power to keep him on the roster. This desire to keep Norwood a Tramp “may actually be the reason why Tatum and DeShaun could be available,” quoted a league source that wish’s to stay anonymous.
No matter how you view the current situation around the Tramp Camp, one thing is certain Coach Vamp will be making the moves necessary to keep the Tramps in contention.
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Hasselbeck Responds To Coach's Calling Out, Hellions Fall 1 Short
Posted on : Tuesday September 26 2006 by Scott Buffington | category : news

(AP Sportswire) - Last week Hanover Hellions Coach Scott Buffington called out Matt Hasselbeck on his weekly podcast, saying that if his production did not pickup he was going to bench the quarterback who led his Hellions to the Brutal Bowl last season.
Buffington basically said that he did not like the player's connections to "The View" TV show and that Hasselbeck's play was costing his team wins. Matt Hasselbeck had little to say about the comments, pointing out that he was shamefully affiliated with the lousy TV show via his brother's marriage and that he would probably bench himself if he could.
"All I can do is play better and hope the show gets cancelled", said Hasselbeck.
The calling out by Buffington seemed to make a difference, Hasselbeck responded with the highest point total of the week for any quarterback in the BDFL by throwing 5 TDs. Unfortunately the Hellions could not muster a win, instead opting for a hardfought and bloody tie to the Tramps. With the Hated Theismann's Legs again winning, the Hellions are already finding themselves in the basement of the Mid Penn division. Buffington still seemed to lay the blame on Hasselbeck.
"That show is still on the air as far as I know, and if you take away one of Matt's three interceptions, we win", said a disgruntled Buffington. Never a coach that shyed away from calling out his players, Buffington was particularly hurt by the tie since Monday night's showdown marked the official unveiling of the John Carney statue. The owner/coach agreed to build the Carney statue when he led the Hellions past the SUCMA Gamecocks last season with a stirring performance in which he guaranteed victory and delivered. Despite the calling out, the rest of the Hellions seemed behind Buffington.
"He's a players coach, I dreamed of playing here!" Said Reggie Bush when asked if Buffington was out of line.
"If I were Matt, I would shave my head and get my game on. It is embarassing that he is affiliated with that TV Show and now he is letting us all down", said Randy Moss.
The Hellions face the Nitschke's this week and no doubt Matt Hasselbeck will be under the microscope again.
2 comments
Tramps get busy!
Posted on : Tuesday August 22 2006 by Ray Vampran | category : news
>
Press Statement:
Today, August the 22nd 2006 the might Tramps football club is pleased to announce that it has hired David Lewis as head of its scouting department. David Lewis has close ties to the Tramps owner and has run several successful (and not so successful) fantasy teams. Often David Lewis can be found in fantasy leagues that are affiliated with the Nitevilla website and usually chooses the safe name of Dave’s Boingers as his team moniker.
David Lewis will immediately be in charge of the Tramps upcoming 2006 draft and will represent the Tramps in the online war room this Friday.
Owner Ray “ streeter” Vampran had the following comments:
“ David Lewis is a damn good football man and I am pleased to have him aboard. I first dangled this position to him at Turner Field as we watched a game between the Braves and Red Sox’s. Something about him in a Braves shirt and a Bo-Sox’s hat told me this guy could split his loyalties between his own fantasy teams in other leagues and running my Tramps organization.”
David Lewis was unavailable for comments (due perhaps to the recent Yankee’s 5 game sweep). 1 comment
Podcast Listener Survey
Posted on : Tuesday July 11 2006 by Scott Buffington | category : news
>For those that stop by the website now and then, you may have noticed the Listener Survey link along the right side of the website.
Alex and
I would like to encourage anyone that has listened to the podcast to take the
Listener Survey. The survey takes only a few minutes and would help Alex and I understand our listening audience a little better.
Though we do not have a concrete date set, you can expect that the weekly Brutal Deluxe Football Podcasts will be coming your way soon. Mini-camps are underway and pre-season is just around the corner, and here at the Brutal Deluxe Football League we definitely have football on the mind. Let's get ready for some football!
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Manning Now a Hellion
Posted on : Saturday April 01 2006 by Scott Buffington | category : news

[AP Sportswire, Baltimore] After weeks of speculation, the official announcement was made at midnight. The Baltimore Banyanators have traded Peyton Manning to the Hanover Hellions for Brian Westbrook and a bottle of Hanover owner Scott Buffington's
homebrew.
"We were stuck on the specifics", said Kurt Albin. Albin continued, "I did not really feel like Manning was worth Westbrook, but after Buff bottled that homebrew and I knew in only two weeks I could consume a bottle... Well, the rest is BDFL history".
The deal was struck at midnight and goes down as one of the biggest trades in BDFL history. Pending the other owners approval, Manning will be donning a Hanover Hellion uniform when the teams open training camp. Brian Westbrook had a disappointing season in 2005, but the Banayanators seemed to feel he would be having a big year in 2006.
"Without a doubt, the Banyanators got the better end of this deal", said a smiling Kurt Albin.
UPDATE: April Fools! Most of you either realized this or were perfectly fine with the trade. This trade of course is not real, for the record, Mr. Albin was not even in on the joke. Not surprisingly I at least heard from him and he turned down the deal. ;)
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864 Press release
Posted on : Sunday March 19 2006 by Ray Vampran | category : news
>Press Release from the Easley South Carolina Sports Complex: As a proud founding member of the BDFL, I would first like to express to the other owners my extreme enjoyment of being a part of such a wonderful league. This league has grown from a guy in a basement in Pennsylvania to a world-class football operation. That is why the 864’s have been in a struggle with its own identification the pass few years. The 864’s have incorporated an international flavor amongst the team, but are still seen only as a regional team in the global market. As many of you know, The Owner, CEO, Head of Football Operation, and General Manager of the 864’s, Mr. Vampran, has had a desire to bring his team out of the sleepy foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains and into a thriving Metropolitan setting for quite a long time. We as an organization have purchased numerous properties inside the continental United States as well as in the land of the rising sun, Japan! This purchasing of future sites for the football operations has left a riff between the local 864 communities and the team. In fact court proceedings are about to get underway to halt the use of the 864 in our teams name. This threat and unwarranted lawsuit has forced Mr. Vampran and his family to look into a name change for its proud football franchise. The lawsuit has also allowed for Mr. Vampran and his team to break the remaining two-year lease with the Sprint Dome (a.k.a. the phonedome). This means that the 864’s will be playing their home games at several local stadiums. A new logo and team named has been designed and has been submitted to the commissioner’s office for approval. We as a football team, and a proud member of the BDFL, are looking forward to a long and prosperous relationship with the league. We will do everything in our power as an organization to provide a quality team for all our opponents.
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Manning Intent on Staying with Banyanators
Posted on : Saturday March 18 2006 by Kurt Albin | category : news
>In a statement released Saturday, March 18th Banyanators President and Head of Football Operatations, Kurt Albin, announced that Peyton Manning will likely return as the Banyanators starting QB in 2006. "Manning is a great QB and we would love to have him back", said Albin. "There are only 2-3 running backs that we would even consider trading for Manning", announced Albin. With that said it looks very probable that Manning will return to the Banyanators.
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Testing Trade Notification System
Posted on : Sunday March 12 2006 by Scott Buffington | category : news
>Do not get too excited, I am just trying a marquee that can be used to notify the owners of trade offers. I could potentially use the marquee for live scoring and major news announcements as well. Mostly I just wanted to see if the website still works alright for everyone with it running. I tested it in the major players and it seems to work.
The trade offer and notification system will be available to owners via the BDFL Owner's Box when you log in. The trade offer section will have each owner's email address so that a specific owner can just be emailed by the owner if someone wants to go that route. If an owner wants to include all the owners, to possibly dangle some trade bait, they will have the option of typing up their trade offer, then upon submitting the offer all owners will receive an email and a short summary of the trade offer will show in the marquee. If I do not have the email address you prefer get league mail, please see that I do. That email address is what you use to retriever your password as well as get all league updates.
The reason for the marquee is that I wanted something on the website that would get your attention and make you aware of a trade offer if by chance you do not check the email account associated with your BDFL team. I also did not want to clutter up the main menu, everyone is pretty familiar with where information is on the website.
I am still working on the backend for the trade notification system, and depending on suggestions from you guys will shape whether I keep the marquee or add something else. The trade notification system will have an RSS feed associated with it, that will be what I use to populate the marqee, so I will post a link to that too. That will be yet another way to be notified of trade offers, everyone loves xml right? No idea when I will have the trade system finished, most likely sometime late Spring. If you have any ideas, please post a comment or as always, you can email me too.
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Official Offseason Pastime: NCAA Tournament Pick'Em
Posted on : Wednesday March 08 2006 by Alex Harden | category : news
>
The brackets are due to be set on 3/12, so there's some time, but I wanted to invite everyone to pick with us on Yahoo's Tournament Pick'Em game:
http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/
Group ID# 27017
Group Name Nitevilla/BDFL/Cygweb
Group Password brutal
Please sign up! The more the merrier!
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The New Brutal Deluxe and 2005 Archive
Posted on : Sunday February 19 2006 by Scott Buffington | category : news
>At the conclusion of each season I try to collect ideas for league improvement from all the owners, as well as improve the website and the code that powers it. I spent this past weekend working on the code behind the website as well as archiving the
2005 Season.
I tidied up much of the XML and any broken links that existed on all the archive pages. You will notice when accessing the archives that the original design will be restored. This was intentional, I liked the original design and wanted to make sure that it was archived along with the prior season's stats.
You may also notice that the site looks a helluva lot better if you use
Firefox, I am trying to steer the owners toward using a better browser. If you use IE, you will be greeted with an advertisement for Firefox. Do use a better browser. What you should also notice is that the site now has a
Owners Box, which allows the owners to signin to not only access News Submission, but also Lineup Submission. I intend to add a Trade Bait feature to the Owners Box over the off season as well. Mostly to give each of the owners an easy reference to the other owners' contact information so that you can easily offer trades. Of course for all of this to be effective, I need all of the owners to use the login feature. I am hoping that the ability to request your password will get everyone on board. If anyone would like a different email address, login name or password reset, let me know.
Along with all the improvements that I have made to the website is also a big change in the general appearance of the site. I wanted to get a emblem that could represent the BDFL as well as the Brutal Deluxe Football Podcast and I think we now have that. A emblem that looks to represent an entire league, rather than one that just represents the website.
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Steelers Win! Steelers Win!
Posted on : Sunday February 05 2006 by Scott Buffington | category : news

Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Steelers and thanks for a great sports memory. Perhaps this team showed tonight why they are a great team. Sure their fantastic young quarterback did not play his best, but showing what a great them they are, the Steelers stepped up and picked up their QB and overcame their mistakes to win one for the thumb.
This team overcame more to win a championship than any prior team. I can say this because they were the first team to win as not only a 6th see, but also the first to win all on the road. The game in Detroit was like a home game for the Steelers, because in true Pittsburgh Steeler fan fashion the fans traveled to support their team.
Way to go Steelers and congratulations to sure Hall of Famer Jerome Bettis and to one of the most well rounded receivers to ever play the game, Hines Ward. You will never see a guy happier to be out there every Sunday, a guy who gets up after every play with a smile on his face realizing how lucky he is to be playing a game for a living. Hines Ward you were my MVP before tonight and have fun in Disney World!
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Super Bowl Live Chat Party
Posted on : Sunday February 05 2006 by Scott Buffington | category : news
The big day is finally here. A game so big that it even eclipses the Brutal Bowl, it is Super Bowl Sunday 2006! If you follow the BDFL or even if you don't, feel free to join us for a live Super Bowl chat. I will be active in the
Brutal Deluxe War Room throughout the game and
Alex will be there too. Hopefully some others out there will join us.
So if you are watching the Super Bowl at home alone and are looking to chat about the game as you watch it. Join us and all or welcome. Whether you are a Steelers faithful or a Seahawks bandwagon jumper, we look forward to chatting it up.
GO
ST
EE
LE
RS
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Top 100 BDFL Players 2005
Posted on : Monday January 16 2006 by Scott Buffington | category : news
>2005 Wk#1 through Wk#16
* indicates the player is an available free-agent
Sort by:Fantasy Points/Starter Points/Average Fantasy Points
------------------------------------------------------------
Strt Fan Avg
# Pos Player NFL Bye Pts Pts Pts
--- - --- ------------------- --- --- ---- --- -----
1 RB ALEXANDER,SHAUN SEA 8 288 340 22.67
2 QB PALMER,CARSON CIN 10 181 318 21.20
3 RB TOMLINSON,LADAINIAN SD 10 254 290 19.33
4 QB MANNING,PEYTON IND 8 226 288 19.20
5 Def CHICAGO CHI 4 189 286 19.07
6 QB BRADY,TOM NE 7 43 282 18.80
7 RB JOHNSON,LARRY KC 5 146 277 18.47
8 Def CAROLINA CAR 7 168 262 17.47
9 RB BARBER,TIKI NYG 5 193 261 17.40
10 QB HASSELBECK,MATT SEA 8 164 261 17.40
11 Def PITTSBURGH PIT 4 167 254 16.93
12 RB JAMES,EDGERRIN IND 8 221 251 16.73
13 Def INDIANAPOLIS IND 8 136 251 16.73
14 Def JACKSONVILLE JAX 7 112 249 16.60
15 QB MANNING,ELI NYG 5 102 248 16.53
16 QB BREES,DREW SD 10 26 248 16.53
17 Def NEW YORK NYG 5 3 245 16.33
18 * Def MINNESOTA MIN 5 59 241 16.07
19 Def TAMPA BAY TB 7 136 240 16.00
20 QB PLUMMER,JAKE DEN 9 44 238 15.87
21 Def MIAMI MIA 4 108 233 15.53
22 QB BLEDSOE,DREW DAL 9 103 232 15.47
23 QB VICK,MICHAEL ATL 8 139 231 16.50
24 Def ARIZONA ARI 6 20 231 15.40
25 Def BALTIMORE BAL 3 202 230 15.33
26 Def CINCINNATI CIN 10 103 230 15.33
27 Def SEATTLE SEA 8 141 228 15.20
28 Def DENVER DEN 9 139 227 15.13
29 Def ATLANTA ATL 8 92 226 15.07
30 Def TENNESSEE TEN 10 20 226 15.07
31 Def DALLAS DAL 9 119 224 14.93
32 Def WASHINGTON WAS 3 180 223 14.87
33 Def DETROIT DET 3 60 222 14.80
34 QB BRUNELL,MARK WAS 3 109 220 14.67
35 QB DELHOMME,JAKE CAR 7 189 218 14.53
36 * Def GREEN BAY GB 6 0 217 14.47
37 QB GREEN,TRENT KC 5 74 215 14.33
38 Def SAN DIEGO SD 10 53 214 14.27
39 RB JORDAN,LAMONT OAK 5 182 213 15.21
40 * Def NEW YORK NYJ 8 14 213 14.20
41 RB JOHNSON,RUDI CIN 10 203 212 14.13
42 QB COLLINS,KERRY OAK 5 86 210 15.00
43 Def PHILADELPHIA PHI 6 88 209 13.93
44 WR SMITH,STEVE CAR 7 204 208 13.87
45 RB PORTIS,CLINTON WAS 3 178 208 13.87
46 * Def KANSAS CITY KC 5 38 207 13.80
47 Def BUFFALO BUF 9 86 205 13.67
48 Def ST. LOUIS STL 9 15 201 13.40
49 QB MCNAIR,STEVE TEN 10 6 201 14.36
50 QB FAVRE,BRETT GB 6 157 190 12.67
51 * Def OAKLAND OAK 5 0 190 12.67
52 * Def CLEVELAND CLE 4 0 189 12.60
53 QB ROETHLISBERGER,BEN PIT 4 46 187 15.58
54 Def NEW ENGLAND NE 7 18 187 12.47
55 RB ANDERSON,MIKE DEN 9 179 185 12.33
56 WR JOHNSON,CHAD CIN 10 149 185 12.33
57 WR FITZGERALD,LARRY ARI 6 144 184 12.27
58 WR MOSS,SANTANA WAS 3 111 184 12.27
59 QB BROOKS,AARON NO 10 83 184 14.15
60 RB JONES,THOMAS CHI 4 128 182 13.00
61 Def NEW ORLEANS NO 10 56 181 12.07
62 QB MCNABB,DONOVAN PHI 6 139 180 20.00
63 RB JACKSON,STEVEN STL 9 143 177 11.80
64 WR HOLT,TORRY STL 9 134 176 13.54
65 WR HARRISON,MARVIN IND 8 72 176 12.57
66 * QB FREROTTE,GUS MIA 4 0 176 11.73
67 * Def SAN FRANCISCO SF 6 0 174 11.60
68 WR CHAMBERS,CHRIS MIA 4 151 170 11.33
69 * QB CARR,DAVID HOU 3 13 170 11.33
70 RB DUNN,WARRICK ATL 8 159 169 11.27
71 WR BOLDIN,ANQUAN ARI 6 107 169 13.00
72 QB LEFTWICH,BYRON JAX 7 67 169 15.36
73 WR GALLOWAY,JOEY TB 7 95 165 11.00
74 * Def HOUSTON HOU 3 0 163 10.87
75 TE GATES,ANTONIO SD 10 120 162 11.57
76 RB DILLON,COREY NE 7 102 159 13.25
77 RB WESTBROOK,BRIAN PHI 6 138 155 12.92
78 RB DAVIS,DOMANICK HOU 3 117 155 14.09
79 RB DROUGHNS,REUBEN CLE 4 92 153 10.20
80 WR WARD,HINES PIT 4 115 152 10.86
81 QB BULGER,MARC STL 9 98 149 18.63
82 WR GLENN,TERRY DAL 9 78 149 9.93
83 RB PARKER,WILLIE PIT 4 74 149 10.64
84 QB WARNER,KURT ARI 6 50 147 14.70
85 RB MCGAHEE,WILLIS BUF 9 127 146 9.73
86 RB BROWN,CHRIS TEN 10 102 141 9.40
87 RB WILLIAMS,CARNELL(R) TB 7 100 140 10.77
88 WR BURRESS,PLAXICO NYG 5 111 136 9.07
89 WR HOUSHMANDZADEH,T.J. CIN 10 90 136 10.46
90 WR SMITH,ROD DEN 9 88 136 9.07
91 PK FEELY,JAY NYG 5 84 136 9.07
92 RB JONES,JULIUS DAL 9 80 134 11.17
93 WR MCCARDELL,KEENAN SD 10 57 134 8.93
94 PK RACKERS,NEIL ARI 6 102 133 9.50
95 WR DRIVER,DONALD GB 6 98 133 8.87
96 WR WAYNE,REGGIE IND 8 112 129 8.60
97 PK GRAHAM,SHAYNE CIN 10 95 128 8.53
98 WR SMITH,JIMMY JAX 7 52 128 8.53
99 TE SHOCKEY,JEREMY NYG 5 115 125 8.33
100 RB DAVIS,STEPHEN CAR 7 97 124 9.54
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Steel Town Goes Crazy
Posted on : Tuesday January 03 2006 by Mike Amoroso | category : news

The Steel Curtainites arrived Early Tuesday into Pittsburgh International Airport as the only three time Brutal Bowl Champions. The Mayor of Steel Town spared no expense to welcome the Champion Curtainites as 64,000 screaming fans flocked to the airport. All flights for Tuesday were delayed to make room for the 3 hour event that was held in honor of the Curtainites' sensational year and return back to glory. A parade later that day took place downtown and a rally at Heinz Field followed. At the ceremony at Heinz Field, running back dynamic duo Mike Anderson and Thomas Jones shared the team's MVP award. Both runners surprised the entire league this year by having solid seasons and by playing key roles in the Curtainites return to glory. Jones was quoted while signing autographs as saying, "Coach Amoroso was the only man to believe in me...he was the only coach who was willing to give me a chance...I could not disappoint him, this team or this city." Jones was the last man picked in the 13th round of this year's draft. Mike Anderson, drafted in the 6th round, was also key to the success of the Curtainites this year.
When asked about his draft choices and the knowledge of picking such quality players late, Coach Amoroso stated, "It is a long drawn out process...the credit goes to Kyle...he does the homework...the scouting...the evaluation of players at the spring combine...this is as much as a win for him as anyone on the team." Kyle Amoroso, the Curtainites' Director of Player Personnel has been with the team since its inception and has played a key role behind the scenes for the storied success of this franchise. Curtainite Captain and maybe the most underrated player in the league, Neil Rackers, hosted the Heinz Field ceremony and distributed all of the awards to each recipient this year. When asked what is on the agenda for the off season, Coach Amoroso stated, "We'll sit back and enjoy our success...Kyle and I will probably take the remainder of the week off, then it will be back to business, scouting for next year." While the front office will be back at work, the players have been cleared to visit Disney World as guest VIP's of Mickey and will kick off the 2006 vacation year in Florida.
On another note, authorities detained Terrell Owens early Tuesday morning at the airport. Owens, Pittsburgh International Airport's new 11:00 pm - 7:00 am baggage cart collector was arrested for impersonating one of the Steel Curtainite players and for stealing bagels off of the Southwest bagel cart. Owens was quoted as saying, "I want my mommy." as he was shuffled into the police cruiser.
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Ideas for Possible League Improvement
Posted on : Wednesday December 28 2005 by Kurt Albin | category : news
>Just a few ideas to think about during the off season:
It would be nice if we could beef up free agency somewhat. To do this I would suggest trimming the draft to only 12 rounds, so that each team after 12 rounds of drafting would have 14 players (12 drafted + 2 keepers). That would increase the free agent pool by 24 players since each team would be drafting 2 less positions. If this change were to go into place I would also suggest modifying our existing draft skeleton so that a team would have to fulfill the following roster requirement (keepers + draft): at least 1 QB, 2 RB's, 2 WR's, 1 TE, 1 K & 1 DST. This skeleton accounts for 8 players, therefore each team would have 6 draft picks to pick whatever they wanted. Obviously with the flex position RB's, WR's or TE's would likely be draft day favorites. With rosters as they are now, free agency value is few and far between when it comes to RB's & WR's. I think each team deserves an opportunity to pick up a player when necessary and know that player has a reasonable chance to start at that position. Just food for thought. We've got a full off season to think about these things.
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Lelie Vows To Win One For The Buffer
Posted on : Friday December 23 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news

[AP Sportswire, Hanover, PA] - Ashley Lelie of the Hanover Hellions this week admitted that he has not lived up to expectations this season and that he has recommitted himself to the cause. Lelie who already wears his locks shorn short, did not need to reiterate his allegiance to Hanover owner Scott Buffington. But when Lelie was interviewed at the Hellion's training center, he did say he did not play as well as he should have this season. Lelie promised a change and a win for not only Buffington but like John Carney mentioned Curtis Martin as a big motivation.
"Rather than do something wild, I am just making a commitment to play better this week and for now on", said Lelie. Lelie was hitting the iron and looked ready for battle. Those covering the Hellions all year said this is the most serious they have seen Lelie. Lelie continued, "This is just a great organization and Buff (Scott Buffington) is a gym rat, he's like one of the players. Then you see a guy like Curtis (Martin) bring it every week, every day of his career and it makes you realize, you don't get many shots at winning a championship. This one's for Curtis".
Lelie said a lot more of the Hellion players were hitting the gym the last two weeks. Not only motivated by the playoff wins, but Buffington informed them they would be helping erect the John Carney statue following the championship game. "That thing weighs like 2,000 pounds!" Said Lelie. No matter where you went around Hellion headquarters this week, you hear everyone echoing the same thing. Do whatever it takes and win one for the Buffer.
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Curtainites Dynasty?
Posted on : Thursday December 22 2005 by Mike Amoroso | category : news

[AP Sportswire, Pittsburgh, PA] -The mayor of Steel Town yesterday declared this week to be devoted to the "Black and Gold." In an effort to demonstrate the City's support for the Curtainites earning their third Brutal Bowl trip in four years, the Mayor and the local Elks club had a 50' x 100' Terrible Towel made and are currently flying it high atop the Steel Building. "We live and die with this team...they have given so much to this City... this was the least we could do to help show our support," the Mayor said. A local radio host also started a petition to rename the Brutal Bowl Trophy, the Amoroso Trophy. We expect the Curtainites to be in the championship game each year." The fans across the tri-state area are showing their support by dressing in black and gold. Local business owners are offering 10% discounts on everything to customers who enter their store dressed in Curtainite garb.
All practices this week have been closed door sessions per Coach Amoroso's directive. At Tuesday's press conference, Coach Amoroso, the only two-time Brutal Bowl champion coach, looking to win his unprecedented third championship title in four years said, "We aren't taking the Hellions lightly...their win/loss record doesn't show it, but they have been impressive. If you recall, the Yossarians who surprised the entire league last year by bringing the title home, did not have an impressive win/loss record as well. We are going to have a few surprises up our sleeves and we are not going to leave anything on the field." The Hellions, in their first Brutal Bowl appearance, have been notorious for putting together a very good ground game each week. When asked to speculate on how to stop the Hellions ground game, Coach Amoroso, simply stated in a stern tone, "We have always played our brand of football, win or lose, we play by our rules, our intensity...We set the tone and we make teams conform to our way of playing, this will not change." Coach Amoroso ended the press conference with, "The Curtainites are on a mission. We took it very personally last year when we bowed out of the post season race and our run at a three-peat challenge in the first round of the playoffs. We felt like we let the city and our fans down. I have never seen this team more focused than they are right now. Win or lose, I have no doubt we will give it our best shot to bring the title back home to Steel country."
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Deion Sanders Pulls A John Carney
Posted on : Sunday December 18 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news

[AP Sportswire, Hanover, PA] – A week after one of the most thrilling games in BDFL playoff history between the Hanover Hellions and the State University of California-Malibu Adjacent Gamecocks, the Hellions face similar circumstances. Last week John Carney shaved his head and guaranteed a victory for Buffington and his Hellions, a guarantee which he pulled off. This week, it is Deion Sanders who is sporting a shiny dome and guaranteeing a victory for the Cinderella Hellions.
On his weekly radio show Sanders sported his newly shaved head and declared he shaved it for the boss and guaranteed he and his defensive teammates would be the main attraction on Monday nights prime time game. “Not only will Prime Time be there to play, but I am guaranteeing a victory and I might as well look as pretty as our owner”, said Sanders.
The Hellions have turned into an underdog favorite among diehard BDFL fans. Though their power ranking was among the worst in the league going into the playoffs and despite two huge injuries to running backs Brian Westbrook and Curtis Martin, this team will just not quit. Every week someone steps up and does the unexpected and the Hellions need it this week as they face the defending champion Yodelin’ Yossarians.
Dirk Benedict who calls home games for Cyg’s Calorie Outlets and who will be calling Monday nights week 15 finale between the Yossarians and Hellions likened this weeks matchup to the 1980 matchup between the and Soviet hockey teams. “Everyone thinks the Yossarians are unbeatable, and no on gave the Hellions much of a chance of even making the playoffs. I suppose with the Holidays here everyone is looking for hope and this Hanover team provides that hope. Everyone loves an underdog.” Said Benedict. Benedict added, “Do you believe in miracles?”
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David Givens Supports Hellions In Playoff Bid
Posted on : Monday December 12 2005 by Alex Harden | category : news
[AP Sportswire, Harrisburg, PA] Cyg's Calorie Outlets wide receiver David Givens has shown his support for division-rival Hanover Hellions' playoff berth by shaving his head, a trend that appears to be catching fire in the Brutal Deluxe Football League.
"After seeing [Hellions kicker John] Carney's shiny melon, I had to do what I could to encourage him and the rest of the team," said Givens. "We're rivals, but they're in the playoffs and we're not. They represent the Mid Penn division and I'm rooting for them."
Outlets coach Alex "Cyg" Harden has lent his support to the Hellions as well, but stopped short of showing the same enthusiasm as Givens or Carney. "I was getting a haircut this weekend anyways, so I told them to make it nice and buzzed on the sides," Harden stated. "You know, it's darn cold this time of year."
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John Carney Shaves Head and Guarantees Victory
Posted on : Sunday December 11 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news

[AP Sportswire, Hanover, PA] - Hanover Hellions kicker John Carney shaved his head as a tribute to Hanover Hellions owner Scott Buffington and guaranteed a victory on Monday night. Carney will have the opportunity to be a hero or a goat, much like another kicker for another team in last season's playoffs. The Hellions faced a lot of adversity going into the playoffs as they lost Brian Westbrook and Curtis Martin for the season last week. John Carney has said that he would dedicate the victory to Curtis Martin who is in the twilight of a certain Hall of Fame career.
"I would like to be a part of winning a championship ring for Curtis Martin", said Carney. "I have a chance to do my part and send this great franchise into the second round of the playoffs", continued Carney.
The Hellions are the Cinderella team this season as they carried a losing record into the playoffs and sported one of the leagues lowest power rankings. But, this team has heart and an ability to force their opponents to play as ugly as they do.
Buffington stated Sunday evening that if Carney manages to come through with his guarantee that he will erect a Rocky like statue at the entrance to their homefield. "John has an opportunity to go down in the Annals of Hanover history", said Buffington. "We love John and we love his choice in hair style or lack of hair style in this case", added Buffington.
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BDFL Playoffs
Posted on : Tuesday December 06 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news
>Another season, another year of waiting until the final week before the playoff picture was fully set. The Deluxe Conference has been set for a few weeks, as far as the teams heading to the playoffs. But the Brutal Conference saw nearly every team alive for a playoff spot heading into Week 13. Week 1 of the Playoffs will be as follows:
S.U.C.M.A. Gamecocks visiting the Hanover Hellions
864 Areacodes visiting the Yodelin' Yossarians
Australian Azzkickers visiting the Shady Spring Tigers
Baltimore Banyanators visiting the Steel Curtainites
Congratulations to the playoff teams and good luck in week 1 of the playoffs. For those teams not qualifying for the playoffs, be sure you have paid your league dues if you have not done so already. If you have paid already, let me know if you want your payment or would like to roll forward your balance for next season.
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Terrell Owens Suspended By Curtainites
Posted on : Saturday November 05 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news
The Steel Curtainites have had enough of Terrell Owens shenanigans. They suspended Terrell Owens indefinitely for conduct detrimental to the team. Mike Amoroso only said that Terrell Owens needs to realize that he is not bigger than team.
The Steel Curtainites are leading the Mid American Division and are coming off a win against the leagues scoring machine, the Baltimore Banyanators. Despite three straight wins the Curtainites will need others on the team to step it up to make up for the loss of Terrell Owens. Most likely the suspension will be for a few games, but it could entail the remainder of the season.
The suspension may signal the end of Terrell Owens stay with the Steel Curtainites. Only time will tell, but teams have to be asking themselves if they need this headache.
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State University Bring Celebrity to Rainy Hanover
Posted on : Saturday October 22 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news

[AP Sportswire, Malibu, CA] - The State University of California-Malibu Adjacent Gamecocks and the Hanover Hellions have a
long cold history and the Gamecocks are hoping to get an extra boost from an unlikely ally. Owner Kurt Stambaugh pulled some strings with his celebrity friends and acquired one, "Little Jerry Seinfeld" for this weekends game against the Hanover Hellions.
"Little Jerry is a lean mean pecking machine, just like the my Gamecocks", said Stambaugh. The Gamecocks appear to be the stronger team this season, but in the past, this is game in which you throw the records out the door.
Hellions' owner, Scott Buffington, seemed to be unfazed by the announcement of Little Jerry Seinfeld. At Thursday's press conference he announced that Hanover's famed Ernie the First Hotwings would be made in bulk and distributed free to any fans wearing Hellion red, purple and black. When told of Little Jerry making an appearance, Buffington exclaimed, "Wow, Little Jerry made it from Jerry's apartment to Newman's in under 30 seconds!"
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New Look Banyanators Look To Dethrone Champs
Posted on : Friday October 07 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news

[AP Sportswire - Baltimore, MD] - Kurt Albin, owner of the Baltimore Banyanators, unveiled his new uniforms today, days before taking on the defending champs. The Yodelin' Yossarians have looked impressive this season, much more impressive than they looked last year as they snuck up and surprised the BDFL by winning the championship. No team was more surprised than the powerhouse Baltimore Banyanators who had only lost one game last season before falling to Chuck Hoyes Yossarians in the championship game.
The Banyanators were heavy favorites going into last seasons game and this year in a sort of reversal of fortunes are the underdogs going against the defending champions. The Banyanators despite never winning a championship are regarded as one of the best, if not the best team in BDFL history. "We have been victims of the scheduling gods", said Albin. "We almost always rate highly in the power rankings and we just seem to hit the wrong teams when they are hot and give our players vacations at in opportune times", continued Albin. The numbers backup Albin's claims and despite a slow start, most people expect the Banayantors to be there come playoff time. This week the Banyanators host the defending champs and look to avenge their title game loss.
About the new uniforms, "I felt it was time for a change, something to shake up and motivate our players. We have had some guys step up that we did not initially expect to play that big a role. Now we just need our big horses to show up, hopefully the new uniforms can wake those guys up", said Albin.
The matchup between the Banyanators and the Yossarians is the marquee matchup this week and will be broadcast live on
ICYG Monday night.
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Hall of Fame Linebacker Toasts Another Season
Posted on : Tuesday October 04 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news

[AP Sportswire, Miami] - Nick Buoniconti and former teammate Dick Anderson laughed about the toast coming so early this season. We are only through week four and the last of the undefeated teams have fallen.
Here's to the 1972 Dolphins.
And here's to the 2005 Yodelin' Yossarians.
The defending champion Yossarians made short work of a tired and listless Shady Spring Tigers, leaving the league with no unbeaten teams. The Tigers appeared to be affected by their move to Carolina and showed little life in putting up the fewest points of the week and the fewest points in a given week during this short season.
Chuck Hoyes, owner of the Yossarians, showed little enthusiasm over the win. "This is just another win and another milestone in our journey to build a dynasty. It's just week four and this win means nothing more than the rest," said Hoyes.
Tigers owner Scott Wood did not even appear to be aware of the loss, "I am in Carolina and so far so good", said Wood.
Never before has there been no undefeated teams so early in a BDFL season. The league appears ready to go down to the final week of the season.
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Tigers Surprise Everyone With Move
Posted on : Saturday September 24 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news

[AP Sportswire - Charlotte, NC] - Owner Scott Wood who had left his team located in Shady Spring, WV for the past four and a half years despite calling Harrisburg, PA home surprised the BDFL and Shady Spring community by moving his offices and team in the wee hours of the morning on Tuesday, September 20th, 2005. Scott Wood will remain in Harrisburg until September 30th, but his team is now playing out of Charlotte, NC.
Defending the sudden move, Wood has left the Shady Spring name on his team and officially changed the name to Shady Spring Tigers at Charlotte. "Shady Spring was just too small of a market for our team to continue to flourish. Our heart will always be in Shady Spring but our campus will now be in Charlotte." Said Wood.
Shady Spring residents, including Chicago refugee Steve Bartman were just upset about how Wood sneaked the team out of town. Wood hired Mayflower Transit to move the team in the pre-dawn hours and the sight of Mayflower moving yet another team from their home made the move look even worse. Woods defended the use of Mayflower by crediting them as the best corporate moving company available. "If it were good enough for moving the herd of horses from Baltimore, I reckon it is good enough to move my Tigers out of Shady Spring", said Wood.
The Tigers host the loved John Elway's Teeth this Sunday afternoon at Charlotte.
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Letter To The Editor
Posted on : Monday September 19 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news
Dear Hated Theismann's Legs,
Here is a hint at your dreams... Err... Nightmares for the next two months. HELLIONS Rule! Go HELLIONS!
Sincerely,
The Team that just kicked your butt
P.S. Nice Quarterback!
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Hellions and Hated Legs Ready To Get It On
Posted on : Friday September 16 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news

[AP Sportswire - Washington, DC] This Sunday the Hated Theismann's Legs host the Hanover Hellions at RFK stadium renewing perhaps the most bitter rivalry in sport. The teams meet twice a season in a knock down drag them out battle that sees the winner try to carry off The Inch Dumbbell* and the series is currently tied 2-2. Playoff games do not count toward the series and though the Hellions currently hold the trophy, they lost to the Hated Legs in the first round of the playoffs last season. To make matters worse, the Hated Legs stole beloved Hanover player, Alge "of Alge's Army fame" Crumpler from the Hellions using a league loophole.
The Hellions were already mad as hell about losing in the playoffs to the Hated Legs, then "Crumpler Gate" occurred. Crumpler clearly does not want to play for The Hated Legs, but he has agreed to honor league rules. Though league officials consider the matter to be over, Hellions owner Scott Buffington does not seem to think so.
"What? Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the going gets tough . . . the tough get going." Said Buffington.
The Hellions promise some surprises for The Hated Legs and he will need them. Owner Tom Steck has already thrown the first punch by inserting Alge "I Love Hanover" Crumpler into The Hated Legs' lineup.
*The game features the only trophy that is truly a challenge for the winner to carry off the field. The Inch Dumbbell weighs 172 pounds and measures in at 20" overall length, 8.5" diameter of the spheres at each end, and the handle is 7.75" in circumference, 2.47" in diameter and 4" long between each sphere.
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Game On!
Posted on : Friday September 09 2005 by Alex Harden | category : news
[AP Sportswire] The Brutal Deluxe Football League season started with fanfare last night as the Week One matchups clashed on the gridiron. Starting QBs Tom Brady of the Baltimore Banyanators and Kerry Collins of the S.U.C.M.A. Gamecocks lit up the night skies, leading all of Thursday's BDFL players in points. Cyg's Calorie Outlets RB Corey Dillon (pictured) had a marvelous second half, racking up 21 BDFL points with a performance punctuated by two touchdown runs.
More league action awaits fans on Sunday, when all 12 BDFL teams will be on the field. Diehard fans have taken note that league commissioner Scott Buffington has greatly improved the BDFL website's "Live Scoring" page, showing the week's matchups player-by-player.
Don't stop watching the scores until the last minutes have ticked down on the Monday night's game. This season promises to be a nailbiter.
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Hurricane Katrina Aid
Posted on : Saturday September 03 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news
Please help in whatever way you can with aiding the victims of Hurricane Katrina. The
American Red Cross makes it easy for you to donate directly to hurricane victims. It is also important to remember that many of these folks will need homes rebuilt, organizations like
Habitat for Humanity are also excellent choices for donations.
The Salvation Army is an excellent choice for helping those in need and they have a lot of information on various types of donations on their website.
Do what you can, even a small donation is better than doing nothing.
Amazon and
Yahoo both have easy links as well for hurricane relief through the American Red Cross.
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A New Season of Podcasts
Posted on : Saturday July 16 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news
>
Though I do not love the idea of seperate RSS feeds for every feature, I am going to provide a seperate RSS feed for podcasts. Mostly because some of the newer directories are looking for podcast only feeds.
Podcast RSS Feed
Tuesday night Alex, Don and I are recording a new podcast, so expect the first podcast of the 2005 season to be published by Wednesday or Thursday. If you are already subscribed to my standard RSS feed, you will continue being notified of new podcasts. The new RSS feed are for those that like such things.
Wanted to mention also, Alex and I would love to have others participate in the podcasts with us this year. Any other owners or fans of the podcast that have broadband and would like to participate, let us know.
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Hanover Acquires New Mascot
Posted on : Wednesday June 01 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news

(AP Sports - Mechanicsburg, PA) - The Philadelphia Phillies have always had one of the most beloved sports mascots the Phillie Fanatic. League Commissioner and Hanover Hellion owner Scott Buffington decided to bring a lovable mascot into the BDFL. Gary, the "No Trash" Cougar joined the Hanover Hellion organization today. The Hellions have experienced difficulties with disgruntled Hellion fans dumping their empties in the parking lot following Sunday tail gate parties. Buffington wanting to provide something kid friendly to his young fans opted to kill two birds with one stone.
"Gary the No Trash Cougar will patrol the parking lot before games and after enforcing the no pollute policies as well as providing a fun fuzzy character for the kids", said Buffington. "Sure we could have hired more security, but Gary takes his job seriously and provides a big stuffed animal for the children to dream about following a Hellion win", continued Buffington.
As the reporters looked upon Gary the No Trash Cougar with jaws dropped, we dared not leave any coffee cups behind as we filed in a mad rush out of the press conference. Be sure to pick up after yourself this season when attending Hanover games, and leave the kids at home, otherwise the next place you will be taking them is therapy.
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Australia's Azzkickers Join BDFL
Posted on : Friday May 13 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news

(AP Sports - Mechanicsburg, PA)
The one year experiment that was the Arlington Pussies has ended. The
estranged team that was the Pottsville Maroons during the 2003 season
continues it's quest for a responsible owner. After the disappearance of
Pottsville's Gary Rada in 2003 and Arlington's Greg Lydon in 2004, many
feel the team is cursed. Star Magazine has reported that the two
former owners ran off together to a tropical hideaway. The ill fated
franchise was even the subject of a comical sports mystery novel, Brutal Deluxe Season Tickets, yet
to be published. Out of the dust of the never proud franchise, from the
outback of Australia,
the Azzkickers led by owner Daniel Yohe.
Yohe
converted his championship Australian rules football team and brings
his ass kicking style to the Brutal Deluxe Football League. Daniel Yohe
joined by the rock band
AC/DC,
held his first press conference today at league headquarters in
Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania. Yohe looking like a band member rather than a team owner when
approaching the podium whilst members of AC/DC pointed to the team logo
hanging on the back wall showing their approval had this to say.
"I prefer not to look back at prior seasons. Those seasons did
not include me or my coaching staff, I want to look ahead and the
success the Azzkickers will have. That is why I am officially
declaring the 2005 season the
Lock Up Your Daughters
tour." Yohe continued, "As you can see I am joined by the esteemed band
AC/DC, Angus Young has an announcement equally as big as the Azzkickers
joining the league."
Angus Young then made the announcement that AC/DC would be playing
before and at halftime of each home game. Said Young, "We are
honored to be rocking the BDFL and pleased that the Azzkickers will
continue calling Australia their home, thank you mates." The BDFL
will be the first American professional football league to have a team
call Australia home, adding a whole new meaning to away game.
The press conference ended with AC/DC blasting out the song "Rocker"
while Daniel Yohe and league commissioner Scott Buffington did some
impromptu head banging.
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The Brutal Deluxe Football League Trophy (Fixed)
Posted on : Wednesday April 06 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news
I received the new title plate yesterday and the trophy is now ready for Chuck Hoyes den and for the numerous stories to begin being associated with the the where-abouts of said trophy. I thought the package must be Italian, because it had
F-R-A-G-I-L-E on the package, "Fra-gee-lay". Fragilé is Italian for "major award". Well, wherever they needed to send it to get the right league name on it.
Actually I want to give a shoutout to
Affordable Trophies, they immediately remedied their mistake with no charge and no arguments. Highly recommended and compared to other trophy sites around the internet, their prices cannot be beat.
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Not An April Fools Joke
Posted on : Friday April 01 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news

Last week I finally received a check from Google for the advertisements
I display on the websites. Which meant it was time to order the
Brutal Deluxe Football League championship traveling trophy. A
decent trophy that each champion could claim during their reign and
relinquish it if they failed to defend their title. This is the
first year for the traveling trophy and Chuck "
Jaboobie" Hoyes has been
waiting patiently. I received the trophy the other night, minor
problem.
Can you spot what is wrong with this trophy? Fear not, the maker
is replacing the error free of charge (just as they should), and the
replacement will be arriving Monday, April 4th at the latest. I
will fix the minor issue and then arrange to hand the trophy over to
Coach Hoyes, who can display the trophy on his mantle until the
conclusion of next season, unless of course he defends his title, then
he gets to keep it until he is defeated.
Each season a new plate will be ordered with the current champions team
and name engraved. The new plate can easily be attached with a
small philips screwdriver. There is room for 16 total plates, so
the trophy will be traveling amongst the owners for the next 13
years. There are three plates currently engraved, the Steel
Curtainites and Mike Amoroso have the privilege of being permanently
enshrined on two of the plates and of course Chuck Hoyes and his
Yodelin' Yossarians are enshrined on the third, leaving 13 blank plates
yet to be claimed.
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Brutal Deluxe League Archives
Posted on : Sunday March 20 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news
I finally finished the archival of the past seasons stats, and you can
access them anytime you would like by viewing links to each season near
the bottom of the right column. The 2002 Season was played on NFL.com
when they were offering free leagues. The 2003 league was set up quite
differently with 3 divisions and only 1 conference. We realigned for
the 2004 season, creating two conferences with 2 divisions each.
Another noticeable change is the increased amount of data we added for
the 2004 season. The addition is probably the reason why my CPU runs at
100% when generating the website pages and why I am looking to move to
a 64 bit CPU for next season.
2003 Season Archives2004 Season Archivesleave a comment
Brutal Look at Technology
Posted on : Thursday March 17 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news

UPDATE: (3/18/2005 4pm)- I suppose since I mentioned fancy ways of conference calling I could also throw a simple group chat using something like Yahoo Instant Messenger into the ring. I have not tried it recently but there may be a voice option available with YIM. Alex Harden and I had touched late last season on possibly using
Skype
as an additional tool for the draft this coming season. The only
downside being that a Skype conference call can only include up to four
people. This is not necessarily a problem, as last season four of
us drafted from Brutal Deluxe Headquarters (my house). So far we
are looking at increasing that number most certainly by at least two,
possibly more. So we will only have a few owners that will be in
a position of needing to be off-site.
Earlier this week owner Kurt Albin pointed me toward
Ventrilo
which offers voice over your high-speed connection. The only
downside is that I would need to host a Ventrilo server to receive the
voice connections. The software involves more setup than Skype,
which is about as easy to use as the many instant messengers.
Another option could also be
waste,
but like Ventrilo which unlike Ventrilo would not require a server to
manage connections, just a host to connect to. But like Ventrilo
setup is a bit more difficult for the end user.
The chatroom (warroom) that exists here now and served us so well last year will
remain, but I definitely want to look at ways at improving our current
tools and keeping those options open. Being able to connect and speak to one another is an
advantage, but the disadvantage is the additional setup required on each
owners part. Any other tools or feedback is welcome.
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2005 Rule Change Suggestions
Posted on : Saturday January 15 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news
>I will be posting this to the
forums and emailing the owners as well,
but thought I might as well post it here first. Following the
conclusion of the regular season I received a few suggestions for rule
changes regarding roster moves and the roster in general. I feel
the suggestions are worth having the other owners look at and think
about during the off season. I also wanted to post something while the
changes were still fresh in my mind. If there is anything you
would like to add to these suggestions, please feel free.
- Maintain the draft skeleton throughout the season, rather than
dropping it after the draft. Meaning you would have to maintain
the following minimum, 2 QB's, 3 RB's, 3 WR's, 2 TE's, 2 K's and 2
DT's. The rest of your 16 player lineup could be assorted however
you like. The thought process being that the free agent market
would remain rich.
- Roster moves would begin on Thursday of each week. Meaning
you could send them to me as soon as you wold like, but I would not
begin processing moves until Thursday. The thinking being that
all owners would have equal opportunity to research and see emerging
stars. Thus making the waiver wire order more important.
- A limit of 15 roster moves for the entire season, with the option
of paying $1 dollar for each roster move after the 15th made during the
season. So if you choose to make roster moves after your
15th, you would pay $1 dollar beginning with your 16th for each
made. The additional money would contribute to the champions
pot. I think only 3 teams made more than 15 moves this season,
one of them was my team and my final two roster moves were a joke,
being Gary Anderson and Jeff George. So I doubt anyone would
eclipse 15 moves.
Those are the three that have been brought to my attention. If
you would like to provide feedback and or more suggestions, feel
free. Do keep in mind that our champion this season had a total
of 3 roster moves.
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Buff v6.3
Posted on : Saturday January 08 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news
>
The past few evenings I have been working on upgrading the CMS to Buff v6.3. During the last major rewrite I had not maintained the multi-user feature. I did not need multiple user support on Nitevilla, but I do need it here on Brutal Deluxe. I also wanted to add some simple features that enabled those unfamiliar with html to easily be able post articles utilizing html easily. To do this I needed to add a "What You See Is What You Get" editor. I encourage the owners to play around with WYSIWYG editor, which also enables you to switch over to the html source if you so choose. Your posts can be as simple or as marked up as you would like. If you just want to type a news article or propose a trade you can do just that. You can upload an image or you can skip uploading an image. If you ever posted a news article before, you will have the ability to edit your old posts. Editing posts was something I really wanted to give to the owners.

Capture1-8-2005-4.13.43-PM
Originally uploaded by scotbuff.
New Features Include:
-
Better markup that better borders included images.
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WYSIWYG editor for easy bulleting, color, backgrounding, and much more.
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Ability to edit previously posted news.
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Comment spam feature (added to nitevilla too).
-
Better xml feeds.
-
Some more stuff I forgot about.
Now, this might be a bit buggy for a while, I am still playing around with the tools and so forth. No doubt some of you may discover issues which I have not run into. If you want to try it out, do not worry about messed up posts or anything. As always I can assist with editing and/or deleting posts. If you subscribe to Brutal Deluxe via one of our feeds, I encourage you to use the Feedburner Feed which will work much better across all the various feed readers.
I am also still moving some old news articles over, I want to move some of the old items out on the forum from two seasons ago. I moved a few, but still have more to go. If you comment here or over at Nitevilla you will notice that I added a question to each website that must be answered in order to comment. The benefit of writing your own CMS/blog tool, besides learning a helluva lot, is that the spambots do not know how to comment on your website, as they do not recognize the name of the CMS engine. Apparently one of the spambots figured me out, I had received the first three spam comments ever on Nitevilla two days ago. I immediately instituted a simple feature that at least assures you are a human. Webjones was the inspiration for the idea, and as I have always said, if I like a feature or see a use for it, I will add it. Another major benefit is that Buff v6.3 is by far, much lighter than any of the CMS/blog tools you can download and install, I like conserving server space.
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Hoyes Celebrates Victory
Posted on : Saturday January 01 2005 by Scott Buffington | category : news
[AP Sportswire, Harrisburg, PA] - Chuck Hoyes, whose Yodelin' Yossarians play their home games at Mile High Stadium in Denver, calls Carlisle, Pennsylvania home. Hoyes celebrated his Christmas Brutal Bowl III victory by taking a dip in the frigid Susquehanna River on New Years Day.
Hoyes (pictured) , sporting a Grizzly Adams like beard, was joined by a large crowd of Yossarian fans. The Yossarians' owner and fans were all smiles as they continued celebrating an amazing championship that saw the Yossarians defeat two of the league's highest touted teams in back to back weeks.
You can view more photos of Hoyes and the Yossarian fans jumping into the Susquehanna on the
official Yodelin' Yossarian website.
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Yodelin' Yossarians : World Champions
Posted on : Tuesday December 28 2004 by Scott Buffington | category : news

[AP Sportswire - Buffalo, NY] - The Brutal Deluxe Football League concluded the 2004 season Monday night at Ralph Wilson Stadium. The game between the Baltimore Banyanators and the Yodelin' Yossarians lived up to all the hype and will go down as one of the greatest championship games in league history. At the conclusion of the night, Chuck Hoyes' Yodelin' Yossarians claimed the championship trophy and are your BDFL Champions.
The game was a fantastic shootout with the Baltimore Banyanators jumping out early. The Yossarians had no answer for Donald Driver in the first half and more than the air superiority belonged to Kurt Albin's team early. The Banyanators appeared to be gaining control of the game as Larry Johnson earned Baltimore control of the ground game and the clock in the first half. For all intensive purposes, the game appeared over early and the dominating Banyanators looked to be on their way to the win.
The second half was a complete 180 degree turnaround from the first half. The Yossarians never wavered and stayed with their running game. The persistence paid off as the Yossarians ripped the usually stingy Baltimore defense for over 350 yards on the ground. Shaun Alexander, Domanick Davis and Warrick Dunn pounded away at the Baltimore defense like a heavy weight boxer pounding his opponent with body shot after body shot. Kurt Albin and his Banyanators watched in shock as their lead slowly evaporated. With 6 minutes left in the game the Yossarians had full control of the game. Peyton Manning attempted a late rally and the game came down to a David Akers' kick. Banyanator fans were crushed as Akers' 65 yard game winning attempt sailed "wide right".
Baltimore owner Kurt Albin cut Akers following the game and the whole Baltimore organization was visibly crushed. Yossarian owner Chuck Hoyes will celebrate his first championship by jumping into the freezing waters of the Susquehanna River on January 1st, 2005. The Yodelin' Yossarians are the Brutal Deluxe Football League 2005 Champions.
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Goat Boy!
Posted on : Tuesday December 28 2004 by Kurt Albin | category : news
Following their loss to the Yossarians in Brutal Bowl III, Banyanator Owner & President (Kurt Albin) went off on David Akers in the post game press conference. Albin was visibly upset and had this to say about Akers, "David knew what we expected of him and still chose to let down the millions and millions of Banyanator fans world wide. David had a chance to be a hero, an icon, but instead he chose to run and hide. He's a zero, a damn goat and he'll never wear a banyanators uniform again. We needed David to be Hulk Hogan and instead he gave us Brooklyn Brawler. We needed the Road Warriors and instead he gave us the Mulkey Brothers! What a shithead! We're already looking forward to next year. We'll be back, but David won't!".
Albin concluded by congratulating the Yossarians on a fine season that ended in Championship fashion.
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Hero or Goat?
Posted on : Monday December 27 2004 by Kurt Albin | category : news

The hearts and souls of millions of Banyanators fans worldwide tonight rest on the leg of David Akers. It will take a colossal effort from Akers to propel the Banyanators past the Yodelin Yossarians in the league championship game. The cork is already off the champagne at Yossarian headquarters, where the Yossarians hold a commanding 125-109 lead in Brutal Bowl III. While victory is unlikely, the Banyanators have yet to throw in the towel. Banyanator Owner & President (Kurt Albin) has been in closed door meetings with Akers all day.
While Albin couldn't be reached for comment prior to Monday Nights game, he had this to say last night, "David is coming off a career worst week, posting -1 points. David has a chance to redeem himself. He scored 17 points in week 13 and we'll need another effort like that from him for us to get to where we want to be. David has a chance to become an icon in Banyanator lore. Anything less than a championship is an unsuccessful season. David knows my stance on his performance tonight. It's do or die, do or die!".
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Brutal Bowl III
Posted on : Tuesday December 21 2004 by Scott Buffington | category : news
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[AP Sportswire]- The Brutal Deluxe Football League 2004 Brutal Bowl match-up is set. Brutal Bowl III will be played at Ralph Wilson Stadium, Buffalo, New York and feature the favorite Baltimore Banyanators versus the surprising Yodelin' Yossarians.
Chuck Hoyes Yodelin' Yossarians are the surprise of the BDFL this season after starting 0-5 and battling their way from a wild card spot into the championship game. Going into week 8 the Yossarians sat at 1-6 and no one except maybe Hoyes would have thought this team had a shot at the post season, much less the championship game. The Yodelin' Yossarians dismantled the hated Theismann's Legs, shooting them down 144-130. Hoyes perhaps had the most faith in his draft out of any owner this season. His only move was dropping Brad Johnson and picking up Carson Palmer to fill in for Michael Vick during his bye week.
The Baltimore Banyanators did what they have done all season to John Elway's Teeth, they mauled them 115-59. The Banyanators have only lost once all season as they carry their 14-1 record northward. The Banyanators are the exact opposite of their upcoming opponent. They clinched a playoff spot and their division title just as the Yossarians were beginning to win games. Kurt Albin other than relying mostly on Peyton Manning, the Baltimore defense and Priest Holmes prior to his injury have made several moves this season to solidify his running and receiving game. No one is surprised to see the Banyanators playing for the championship, now they only need one more win to finish the most impressive season in BDFL history.
Be sure to tune in this weekend for what should be a cold, hard hitting and exciting finish to the BDFL season that will see a new champion crowned.
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Wait Until Next Year
Posted on : Tuesday December 14 2004 by Scott Buffington | category : news

[AP Sportswire - Hanover, PA] -Although the Hellions managed to battle into the playoffs, they lost their final two games of the year. Expectations were high this season and the Hellion fans expected a division title and a deep run into the playoffs behind a punishing running game and a bruising defense. But after this weeks loss to the hated Theismann's Legs, fans were left with that empty feeling and with nothing left to do but wait until next year.
Following Sunday's loss, Scott Buffington fired his outsourced coaching staff and resumed his coaching duties. When questioned on the coaching move, Buffington sounded off one statement, "WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!"
Expectations will continue to be high next season as the Hellions feel they have a solid running game that they can carry into the future. They feel they are only missing that one piece of the puzzle, that one lights out player. The Hellions scored consistently this season, but that consistent scoring did not result in a winning season. The Hellions finished second in the power rankings this season and yet only their defense finished in the top ten in scoring. The team depended on everyone contributing and that formula let them down during their playoff run.
Another season in which the Hellions will spend the Holidays at home. Clinton Portis perhaps put it best when he said all he wanted for Christmas was a championship for his beloved Hellions. Portis is living his dream playing for the Hellions, a team he dreamed of playing for since he saw the converted All-Star Traveling Flag Football Team play and beat an NFL All-Star team back in the 1980's.
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2004 BDFL Top 100 Players
Posted on : Thursday December 09 2004 by Scott Buffington | category : news
>Here are the top 100 players for the Brutal Deluxe Football League 2004 regular season. This season was no doubt the year of the quarterback. During the off season I will be archiving all our stats for the past two seasons here on the website and provide easy access for you to go back and relive the seasons that were.
2004 Brutal Deluxe Football League Player Stats
2004 Wk#1 through Wk#14
Sort by:Starter Points/Average Fantasy Points
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Fantasy Strt Avg
# Pos Player NFL Bye Team Pts Pts
--- --- ------------------- --- --- --------------------- ---- -----
1 QB MANNING,PEYTON IND 6 Baltimore Banyanators 385 32.08
2 QB CULPEPPER,DAUNTE MIN 4 Theismann's Legs 329 27.42
3 QB MCNABB,DONOVAN PHI 5 Cyg's Calorie Outlets 309 25.75
4 Def BALTIMORE BAL 6 Baltimore Banyanators 233 19.42
5 RB ALEXANDER,SHAUN SEA 4 Yodelin' Yossarians 218 18.17
6 RB BARBER,TIKI NYG 6 Arlington Pussies 212 18.17
7 RB TOMLINSON,LADAINIAN SD 10 Theismann's Legs 201 16.75
8 RB JAMES,EDGERRIN IND 6 864 Areacodes 199 16.58
9 WR OWENS,TERRELL PHI 5 The Steel Curtainites 192 16.00
10 Def PITTSBURGH PIT 7 Hanover Hellions 191 19.83
11 QB VICK,MICHAEL ATL 9 Yodelin' Yossarians 191 15.92
12 RB MARTIN,CURTIS NYJ 3 Hanover Hellions 190 17.33
13 RB HOLMES,PRIEST KC 5 Baltimore Banyanators 188 23.50
14 Def PHILADELPHIA PHI 5 Cyg's Calorie Outlets 181 16.08
15 Def NY JETS NYJ 3 The Nitschke's 179 16.25
16 QB FAVRE,BRETT GB 9 S.U.C.M.A. Cocks 171 18.58
17 RB WESTBROOK,BRIAN PHI 5 The Steel Curtainites 167 15.27
18 QB PLUMMER,JAKE DEN 10 Shady Spring Tigers 159 18.58
19 RB DILLON,COREY NE 3 Cyg's Calorie Outlets 154 15.64
20 QB GREEN,TRENT KC 5 Hanover Hellions 153 17.92
21 RB DAVIS,DOMANICK HOU 7 Yodelin' Yossarians 153 14.09
22 WR HORN,JOE NO 8 Cyg's Calorie Outlets 153 13.08
23 QB BROOKS,AARON NO 8 864 Areacodes 151 17.42
24 WR HARRISON,MARVIN IND 6 The Nitschke's 151 12.58
25 QB BRADY,TOM NE 3 John Elway's Teeth 148 16.17
26 RB PORTIS,CLINTON WAS 7 Hanover Hellions 147 12.33
27 RB GREEN,AHMAN GB 9 The Steel Curtainites 143 13.00
28 WR WAYNE,REGGIE IND 6 Theismann's Legs 141 11.75
29 WR WALKER,JAVON GB 9 Theismann's Legs 140 12.75
30 Def WASHINGTON WAS 7 Theismann's Legs 137 15.92
31 Def TENNESSEE TEN 9 864 Areacodes 137 13.83
32 WR JOHNSON,CHAD CIN 5 Shady Spring Tigers 136 11.33
33 QB PENNINGTON,CHAD NYJ 3 The Steel Curtainites 135 15.00
34 Def NEW ENGLAND NE 3 Arlington Pussies 133 18.08
35 WR HOLT,TORRY STL 8 S.U.C.M.A. Cocks 132 11.00
36 TE GATES,ANTONIO SD 10 The Steel Curtainites 130 12.08
37 RB TAYLOR,FRED JAX 9 S.U.C.M.A. Cocks 130 10.83
38 QB HASSELBECK,MATT SEA 4 The Nitschke's 129 15.91
39 Def BUFFALO BUF 3 Shady Spring Tigers 126 18.83
40 K VINATIERI,ADAM NE 3 S.U.C.M.A. Cocks 124 10.33
41 WR JOHNSON,ANDRE HOU 7 Arlington Pussies 124 10.33
42 RB JONES,THOMAS CHI 5 Shady Spring Tigers 117 11.70
43 WR BRUCE,ISAAC STL 8 Hanover Hellions 117 9.75
44 Def SEATTLE SEA 4 S.U.C.M.A. Cocks 116 15.67
45 RB FAULK,MARSHALL STL 8 864 Areacodes 114 10.36
46 TE GONZALEZ,TONY KC 5 John Elway's Teeth 112 9.33
47 K AKERS,DAVID PHI 5 Baltimore Banyanators 112 9.33
48 RB BROWN,CHRIS TEN 9 The Nitschke's 108 12.90
49 WR WARD,HINES PIT 7 John Elway's Teeth 108 9.00
50 RB DROUGHNS,REUBEN DEN 10 Hanover Hellions 106 11.42
51 RB SMITH,EMMITT ARI 6 Arlington Pussies 106 10.91
52 RB BETTIS,JEROME PIT 7 Shady Spring Tigers 106 10.42
53 Def NY GIANTS NYG 6 Shady Spring Tigers 103 14.58
54 Def MINNESOTA MIN 4 Yodelin' Yossarians 102 12.33
55 WR SMITH,JIMMY JAX 9 Baltimore Banyanators 102 8.92
56 RB JOHNSON,RUDI CIN 5 Hanover Hellions 101 12.00
57 TE CRUMPLER,ALGE ATL 9 Hanover Hellions 101 8.42
58 RB LEWIS,JAMAL BAL 6 John Elway's Teeth 99 12.38
59 RB PITTMAN,MICHAEL TB 8 Cyg's Calorie Outlets 98 15.44
60 WR MOULDS,ERIC BUF 3 864 Areacodes 98 8.92
61 RB BARLOW,KEVAN SF 7 John Elway's Teeth 98 8.67
62 WR MOSS,RANDY MIN 4 S.U.C.M.A. Cocks 96 10.67
63 RB MCALLISTER,DEUCE NO 8 The Nitschke's 94 10.20
64 K GRAHAM,SHAYNE CIN 5 Cyg's Calorie Outlets 94 8.33
65 WR JOHNSON,KEYSHAWN DAL 4 Yodelin' Yossarians 93 8.50
66 Def ARIZONA ARI 6 The Steel Curtainites 91 14.00
67 WR STOKLEY,BRANDON IND 6 864 Areacodes 91 11.25
68 Def TAMPA BAY TB 8 Theismann's Legs 88 17.17
69 WR JACKSON,DARRELL SEA 4 Theismann's Legs 88 9.67
70 K ELAM,JASON DEN 10 Hanover Hellions 88 7.33
71 K LONGWELL,RYAN GB 9 Arlington Pussies 88 7.33
72 QB BULGER,MARC STL 8 Shady Spring Tigers 87 18.17
73 Def ATLANTA ATL 9 Arlington Pussies 87 16.00
74 WR MASON,DERRICK TEN 9 Shady Spring Tigers 86 9.67
75 Def DENVER DEN 10 S.U.C.M.A. Cocks 85 14.58
76 TE MCMICHAEL,RANDY MIA 10 Baltimore Banyanators 84 7.00
77 WR WILLIAMS,ROY DET 4 John Elway's Teeth 83 8.30
78 K CARNEY,JOHN NO 8 864 Areacodes 83 6.92
79 QB BREES,DREW SD 10 The Nitschke's 78 19.33
80 WR SMITH,ROD DEN 10 Hanover Hellions 77 9.17
81 WR DRIVER,DONALD GB 9 Baltimore Banyanators 76 9.25
82 RB JONES,KEVIN DET 4 Theismann's Legs 75 8.18
83 K STOVER,MATT BAL 6 John Elway's Teeth 75 7.25
84 K ANDERSEN,MORTEN MIN 4 Shady Spring Tigers 73 6.08
85 RB DUNN,WARRICK ATL 9 Yodelin' Yossarians 72 9.58
86 WR BENNETT,DREW TEN 9 Cyg's Calorie Outlets 72 9.08
87 RB BLAYLOCK,DERRICK KC 5 The Steel Curtainites 68 10.00
88 WR FITZGERALD,LARRY ARI 6 The Steel Curtainites 67 6.67
89 QB BLEDSOE,DREW BUF 3 Arlington Pussies 66 13.00
90 RB SMITH,ONTERRIO MIN 4 Baltimore Banyanators 66 10.63
91 RB STALEY,DUCE PIT 7 Arlington Pussies 66 9.50
92 RB JONES,JULIUS DAL 4 Baltimore Banyanators 65 18.25
93 WR MOSS,SANTANA NYJ 3 Yodelin' Yossarians 64 6.55
94 QB ROETHLISBERGER,BEN PIT 7 Hanover Hellions 61 14.18
95 WR BURRESS,PLAXICO PIT 7 Yodelin' Yossarians 61 8.00
96 RB MCGAHEE,WILLIS BUF 3 Arlington Pussies 60 10.75
97 TE WITTEN,JASON DAL 4 Cyg's Calorie Outlets 60 7.92
98 WR CLAYTON,MICHAEL TB 8 John Elway's Teeth 58 8.42
99 QB MCNAIR,STEVE TEN 9 Arlington Pussies 57 11.50
100 WR BURLESON,NATE MIN 4 S.U.C.M.A. Cocks 57 8.58
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BDFL Playoffs Begin
Posted on : Tuesday December 07 2004 by Scott Buffington | category : news
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Another regular season complete and another season that came right down to the wire. The final playoff picture was not set until the conclusion of the final game of week 13. The following playoff schedule will be played in week 14.
Hanover Hellions at Theismann's Legs
Yodelin' Yossarians at S.U.C.M.A. Gamecocks
Arlington Pussies at Baltimore Banyanators
John Elway's Teeth at The Steel Curtainites
To all the teams that qualified for the 2004 Playoffs, congratulations. The League Finances have been updated and for those that did not make the playoffs, you have the option of receiving your payment or putting it towards next season's entry fee.
Tune in Sunday to witness the first round of the Brutal Deluxe Football League Playoffs. Now the games mean more, one loss and you are going home until next season.
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Cyg's Calore Outlets 2004: Late To The Party
Posted on : Tuesday December 07 2004 by Alex Harden | category : news

Cyg's Calorie Outlets played their hearts out this week, amassing the highest single-week point total of the BDFL season (185) in a drubbing of Theismann's Legs; however, they didn't get the help they needed to make it into this year's playoffs. They ended up in third place in the hotly contested Mid Penn division.
The Outlets fared much better in the second half of this season than the first, finding a winning identity and scoring big point totals in three of the last four weeks of the regular season. Coming back from 0-5 to make the playoffs was improbable, but finishing 5-3 leaves the team with high hopes for next season. Among the positives for the Outlets:
* It will be tough for them to pick their keepers for next season. Having some of the league's marquee players (QB Donovan McNabb, RB Corey Dillon) and up-and-comers (RB Julius Jones, TE Jason Witten) is a good situation for them to be in.
* They ranked fifth in Kurt Albin's BDFL 2004 Power Rankings and were hailed by the coach of the league-leading Baltimore Banyanators as the winners of the "I DESERVE TO BE IN THE PLAYOFFS BUT AM NOT" award.
* They scored the fourth-highest number of points in the season and had the second-highest points-against total.
Outlets coach Alex Harden says he's now ready to enjoy the BDFL playoffs and provide color commentary in his weekly podcast with Hanover Hellions coach Scott Buffington. "I fully expect us to come off the field with a win after the first week of next season," said Harden. "Whatever it takes."
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Break It Down
Posted on : Monday December 06 2004 by Kurt Albin | category : news
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Well, the regular season is complete and once again I'm going to breakdown each team over the course of this season. Each week we all play one game, but what if we played every team every week instead of our one scheduled opponent? Instead of 13 games we would all end up having played 143 games. Looking at teams in this fashion gives a much better picture of how good or how bad each team actually is.
The following season breakdown provides a snapshot of how each team would have faired had it played every team each week, using the lineups which were actually submitted. Record, winning percentage, and power rank are listed in accordance with each team's breakdown. Survey says:
1 Baltimore Banyanators 117-25-1 (82.2%)
2 Hanover Hellions 98-45 (68.5%)
3 Theismann's Legs 88-54-1 (61.9%)
4 The Steel Curtainites 81-60-2 (57.3%)
5 Cyg's Calorie Outlets 80-63 (55.9%)
6 John Elway's Teeth 70-73 (48.95%)
7 SUCMA Gamecocks 70-73 (48.95%)
8 864 Areacodes 54-86-3 (38.8%)
9 Yodelin Yossarians 51-91-1 (36.01%)
10 Shady Spring Tigers 50-90-3 (36.01%)
11 The Nitschke's 47-95-1 (33.2%)
12 Arlington Pussies 46-97 (32.2%)
Based on each team's breakdown, there are a few awards which need to be handed out.
We'll begin with the Arlington Pussies who clean up in this year's award presentation. The Arlington Pussies (formerly known as the Pottsville Maroons) have once again captured the league's ARMPIT AWARD, which goes to the worst statistical team in the league based on breakdown. Now we know why Greg Lydon didn't submit a lineup for most of the year. He smelled the ARMPIT AWARD was within reach. Fate looked kindly on the Pussies this year. Even as the league's biggest armpit franchise, the Pussies have squeaked into the playoffs and for that the Arlington Pussies also win the league's LUCKIEST MOFO & LUCKIEST SCHEDULE AWARD. This franchise has a 46-97 breakdown and still made the playoffs. I think someone sold their soul.
Next we move on to the DOMINATOR AWARD, which goes to the team who would have beaten another team every week of the season. Several teams were close to throughly dominating a particular opponent week in and week out, but only one team would have laid a pistol whipping on another team each week this season. That team is the Baltimore Banyanators, who would have spanked the Shady Spring Tigers every week this season for a perfect 13-0 mark.
Moving on, we come to an award which was won by the Banyanators last year. This year's I DESERVE TO BE IN THE PLAYOFFS BUT AM NOT AWARD goes to Cyg's Calorie Outlets who have the 5th best breakdown in the league at 80-63. If only Cyg's could have found some of the Karma from the scheduling gods that worked so well for Arlington. Cyg's deserves a shoutout. They could have been a contender.
The last award is the SNEAKY BASTARD AWARD, which goes to last year's champion (The Steel Curtainites). The Curtainites are looking to 3peat as champ and have quietly positioned their team to do so. Can anyone stop this dynasty? We'll find out soon enough.
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Scoring Via RSS Feed and More
Posted on : Monday December 06 2004 by Scott Buffington | category : news
>I made a few more updates providing you the ability to monitor scoring on game day via a
RSS Feed as well as further additions to the reporting on your team page. I realize it is late in the season, but I have a lot of off-season work planned with league history and news publishing enhancements. So I wanted to get these features implemented before they slipped my mind.
If you are not already using RSS or Atom Feeds to monitor websites you frequently visit. You should
read-up on the technology. I currently use feeds from many websites, including news sites with
Bloglines. That way I can just visit Bloglines and see which websites have been updated. There are many, many uses for RSS and I thought Live Scoring would be a very good use. Especially since all sorts of portable devices are also able to retrieve RSS feeds. The RSS feed will update at the same interval as the webpage, roughly every 10 to 20 minutes.
The team pages now provide additional totals, which includes potential point totals, starter point totals and bench point totals for each week of the season. This is a minor addition but will provide you a good reference on your team page for your weekly scoring.
No Need to Click Here - I'm just claiming my feed at Feedster
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Big Brown Keg Shootout
Posted on : Thursday December 02 2004 by Scott Buffington | category : news

[AP Sportswire, Baltimore, MD] - This week Kurt Albin's Baltimore Banyanators and Scott Buffington's Hanover Hellions meet up to do battle for the Big Brown Keg. The Hellions coming off their third straight win since outsourcing their coaching and playing in their second trophy game in as many weeks look to win back the Big Brown Keg.
The Balitmore Banyanators currently have the Big Brown Keg after winning last year in a romp, 112 to 45 over the Hanover Hellions. The series is only three years old and currently stands at 1 and 1. The loser of the game has to pay to fill the keg with the winner's choice of brew. The winner then claims the keg and bragging rights until next season.
Both teams are red hot right now, the Banyanators hold the best record in the league and have only lost once this season. The Hellions have won three straight and earned a playoff bid after trouncing the hated Theismann's Legs this past weekend to win the Basement Gym Gymboree and keep their hopes for a division title alive. The Big Brown Keg Shootout looks like it will live up to it's name and be a true shootout.
Kurt Albin having just brought the Keg from storage had this to say, "I like Fosters Lager, that's Australian for Banyanators are gonna win".
Scott Buffington was seated in the section where Alge Crumpler's fans congregate and are affectionately known as "Alge's Army" during the dismantling of the hated Theismann's Legs. As the gun sounded ending the game, Buffington ran from the stands screaming like a little girl, skipping and jumping in the air. Crumpler had sealed the victory just before halftime with two fantastic catches, one being for a TD, Buffington had this to say, "Out of no where came Alge Crumpler riding a white stallion down the field, heading up Alge’s Army!" After dragging his dumbbell trophy off the field an out of breath Buffington continued, "I would like Yuengling Lager in the Keg, that's Pennsylvanian for Hellions are gonna win!"
This one is heating up, other than the Keg, the Big Brown Keg Shootout does not mean nearly as much to the Banyanators as it does to the Hellions. The Hellions need Cyg's Calorie Outlets to defeat the hated Theismann's Legs as well as a victory in the Big Brown Keg Shootout to claim their first division title.
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Basement Gym Gymboree
Posted on : Thursday November 25 2004 by Scott Buffington | category : news

[AP Sportswire, Hanover, PA] - The hated Theismann's Legs travel 100 miles north to do battle with the Hanover Hellions at Shepard and Myers Field, Hanover, Pennsylvania in the Basement Gym Gymboree. The game is so intense, being not only an intra-divisional game but a match up between two owners who weight train together and trash talk all season long, that the game has become known as the Basement Gym Gymboree.
The game features the only trophy that is a true challenge for the winner to carry off the field. The Inch Dumbbell weighs 172 pounds and measures in at 20" overall length, 8.5" diameter of the spheres at each end, and the handle iss 7.75" in circumference, 2.47" in diameter and 4" long between each sphere. Tom Steck and his hated Theismann's Legs currently struggle to hold onto the trophy following a four point win in week two. The hated Legs also hold a slim 2 - 1 lead in the series.
"I plan to carry that trophy off the field this week", said Scott Buffington. He continued, "At least I will not need our linemen to help me carry it off the field either".
Tom Steck of the hated Legs was unavailable for comment, apparently upset about something a couple of his players did not do on Thanksgiving Day.
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Another toast for '72 Dolphins
Posted on : Tuesday November 16 2004 by Scott Buffington | category : news

[AP Sportswire, Miami] - In keeping with their annual ritual, Nick Buoniconti and former teammate Dick Anderson will share a champagne celebration at a Coral Gables country club this week.
Here's to the 1972 Dolphins.
And here's to the 2004 Calorie Outlets.
When Cyg's Calorie Outlets walloped the Baltimore Banyanators this weekend, leaving the league with no unbeaten teams, it ensured Miami's record will remain intact for another season.
Alex Harden consumed a copious amount of champagne himself following the win, which was the Calorie Outlets third win of the season. The win keeps the Calorie Outlets slim playoff hopes alive.
Harden in an Anna Nicole Smith like stupor gave a post game interview, "We're freakin' great!", said Harden before falling off the podium.
The Banyanators may have looked past the Calorie Outlets, as they have already clinched a post season birth. Kurt Albin did not attend the game, he was home in bed sick.
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Hanover Coach Buffington Outsourced
Posted on : Wednesday November 10 2004 by Scott Buffington | category : news

[AP Sportswire, Hanover, PA] - In what might be the strangest incident ever in the Brutal Deluxe Football League, well we might be stretching there, Hanover Hellions Owner Scott Buffington is outsourcing his coaching job and assistants jobs. What is so strange about this is that Buffington is also the coach. Judging from the interview, he may be only partially aware the owner and coach is one in the same.
"This last game was the final straw! I have a talented team here and the coach is not getting the job done. That is four games we coulda won!", said Buffington. Buffington added, "This is not the first incident, the womanizing, the all night coffee binges. The only reason coach did not miss the first game of the season, which he usually spends at Cygweb Stadium is because we were playing Cyg's Calorie Outlets and he sat in the stands!" Buffington continued, "Next thing you know he will be taking the team with him. We all saw what happened to the Yodelin' Yossarians last season when Coach Chuck Hoyes took them to the Jimmy Buffet concert the night before the season. Half the team was in rehab!"
Following Buffington's statement he went on to announce he was outsourcing the coaching to a hot young team of coaches in Asia. This will be the first experience for Takamini Corporation at coaching a sports team of any type.
"I am saving quite a bit of money, Takamini absorbed my coaching positions for $2.50 per game. This has freed up a lot more money and time for my womanizing and coffee binges", said Buffington.
The Hellions play their first outsourced game this week. Hanover needs a strong finish to the season to squeeze into the playoffs.
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Arlington Pussies
Posted on : Sunday August 29 2004 by Scott Buffington | category : news
[AP Sportswire, Arlington, VA] - The Arlington Pussies who earlier announced their team name and unveiled not only their mascot but Greg Lydon's fabled style have now released their emblem and team colors. Arlington has high hopes of climbing from worst to first this season. Greg Lydon was not immediately available for contact as he had not yet returned from the Elvis and Liberace Extravaganza he was attending in Las Vegas.
Owner of the Theismann's Legs, Tom Steck said, "I am surprised he did not base the team on the color pink, or dress his players in that horrible Peter Pan costume".
Arlington has it's work cut out for it, some would argue they are in the toughest division. The two time defending champion Steel Curtainites and the Nitschke's are also in the Mid American Division.
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Yossarians 2004 Uniforms
Posted on : Sunday August 22 2004 by Scott Buffington | category : news
[AP Sportswire, Mechanicsburg, PA] - Coach Chuck "Jaboobie" Hoyes spurred by the stylish Greg Lydon unveiled his Yossarian's new uniforms today. No one seemed exactly sure what the uniforms have to do with his team, but they certainly will stand apart from the other teams in the league.
"After our disappointing 2003 season I felt we needed to get back to basics and go with a kind of throwback theme", said Hoyes.
"I am pretty sure at some point they wore knit caps, sometime before the leather helmet era and speaking of ears, mine are warm", added Hoyes.
The team should certainly be quick with the lighter equipment on. As if Michael Vick needs to be any quicker. In a few days, we will find out if indeed the Yossarians are "Super" in 2004.
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Cyg's Calorie Outlets Minicamp News
Posted on : Wednesday July 07 2004 by Alex Harden | category : news
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[AP Sportswire, Harrisburg, PA] The Brutal Deluxe Football League's underachieving Cyg's Calorie Outlets convened for their first minicamp of the 2004 season at Cygweb Stadium in downtown Harrisburg this week. Coach Alex "Cyg" Harden is eager to see how his players look after their extended time off. "There can be only two," Harden said. "Keepers, that is. Everybody else can go home, play video games, watch reality TV, heck, they can even try to be the next Bachelor. This is one guy who won't pick Jesse Palmer, for sure!"
The leading candidates for the Outlet's franchise tag are QB Donovan McNabb, RBs Travis Henry and Charlie Garner, WR Eric Moulds, and TE Jeremy Shockey. Harden is quite candid about who won't be tagged: "I met Cartwright, Elling, and Teyo Johnson at the parking lot and told them they should go ahead to their NFL teams' minicamps; they weren't needed here." Late-season pickup Keyshawn Johnson, who rode broadcast pine for most of the second half of last season, says he'd like a chance to play for Coach Harden. "Just give me the damn ball!" was the first thing he uttered as he strode onto the freshly cut Pennsylvania turf. Shockey, who is on the sidelines after foot surgery, was another late-season acquisition whom the Outlets coaching staff isn't sure about. "He's going to have Warner or Eli Manning throwing to him this season," an anonymous coach said. "We're still trying to figure out if that's a plus or a minus."
Harrisburg Mayor Stephen Reed is in attendance this week as well; he's getting the interim Wild West Museum (conveniently located in Cygweb Stadium) ready for the millions whom he hopes will visit this season. "We had 47 visitors last year, but I attibute that to all the negative press. I'm aiming high, but I'm also trying to be fiscally responsible." His honor has vowed to not attend any more Western-memorabilia auctions -- this week.
Whatever the results of the upcoming 2004 BDFL draft, Coach Harden is dedicated to putting a productive team on the field this season. "We're in a division with our buddies the Hellions and Theismann's Legs. How could we not be optimistic about our chances?"
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Trophy Returns To Curtainite Headquarters
Posted on : Monday June 07 2004 by Mike Amoroso | category : news
[AP Sportswire, Baltimore, MD] Owner Mike Amoroso brought his championship trophy home to Curtainite headquarters today. The Trophy has been touring the continent over the past six months, delighting fans everywhere. The 2003 trophy joined the 2002 trophy in the Curtainites trophy room, and Mike Amoroso was glad to have it at home.
The 2003 season was the final season for an individual trophy, beginning this season the Brutal Deluxe Football League will be switching to a Traveling Trophy. The Traveling Trophy will remain with the league champion until the following season when a new champion is crowned. At that time the prior season's champion will send the trophy to the current champion. Mike Amoroso had this to say, "The trophy is going to be called the Amoroso Trophy right? You might as well just send it to me now so I can place it at it's permanent home, Steel Curtainite Ranch."
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Greg Lydon Unveils His Team
Posted on : Monday June 07 2004 by Kurt Albin | category : news
The flamboyant and stylish Greg Lydon has unveiled the name of the team as well as the teams mascots at a press conference today. Greg Lydon, who has publicly stated that his idol is Liberace, did not disappoint with his Peter Pan attire that he wore for the press conference. Nor did he stray from normal actions with the team name he chose.
The Arlington Pussies will be replacing perennial cellar dwellar, the Pottsville Maroons. Coach/Owner Lydon vowed to manage his Pussies to the League Championship. With the addition of the Pussies the league has moved ahead and replaced the last of the inactive owners.
League spokesperson, Joe Namath said, "I certainly cannot say I would wear what Greg is wearing. But who am I to criticize attire?" Namath added, "Adding a fur coat might bring that outfit together Greg. Please join me in welcoming Greg Lydon and his team to the BDFL!"
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2004 NFL Schedule Released
Posted on : Sunday February 15 2004 by Alex Harden | category : news
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It's out!
NFL Schedule
I'm disappointed at the league's continued timidity against more (or exclusive) intra-divisional games near the end of the season. However, there are some great matchups.
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Big 33 and the Super Bowl
Posted on : Saturday January 31 2004 by Scott Buffington | category : news
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There has never been a Super Bowl without a Big 33 Alumni. At least one player that has played in a
Big 33 game has appeared in every Super Bowl.
Since 1958 the Big 33 Football Game has been the premier high school all-star football game in the United States. Judging from the number of alumni that have been in recent Super Bowls, the streak of Big 33 alumnus being in the Super Bowl will not end anytime soon.
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Super Stats
Posted on : Saturday January 10 2004 by Scott Buffington | category : news
>Here are some things I bet you did not know about the big game coming up in a few weeks. The Super Bowl has become a minor holiday in the United States.
- Rank of Super Bowl weekend on list of slowest weekends for weddings: 1
- Percent rise in U.S. sales of bigscreen TVs during Super Bowl week: 500
- Percentage of people who call in sick on Super Bowl Monday: 6
- U.S. women who watched the 2000 Academy Awards: 27 million
- U.S. women who watched Super Bowl XXXIV: 35 million
- Americans who attend Sunday church services: 110 million
- Americans who watched Super Bowl XXXVI: 150 million
- Tons of chips and popcorn eaten in U.S. on Super Bowl Sunday: 18,500
- Percent increase in U.S. sales of antacid on Super Bowl Monday: 20
- More toilets are flushed during Super Bowl halftime than at any other moment of the year.
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2004 NFL Draft First Round Order
Posted on : Sunday January 04 2004 by Scott Buffington | category : news
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Thought all of you might find this interesting. This is the order so far, not including the playoff teams. I believe that the Patriots might have the Ravens first round pick. So will the Chargers take Manning?
1. Chargers
2. Raiders
3. Cardinals
4. Giants
5. Redskins
6. Lions
7. Falcons or Browns (coin flip)
8. Falcons or Browns (coin flip)
9. Jaguars
10. Texans
11. Steelers
12. Jets
13. Bills
14. Bears
15. Bucs
16. 49ers
17. Bengals
18. Saints
19. Vikings
20. Dolphins
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Gary Anderson Still Going Strong
Posted on : Saturday January 03 2004 by Scott Buffington | category : news
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You had to love seeing 40 plus year old Gary Anderson kick a game winning 46 yard field goal for the Titans. Here is a guy who has been rock solid his entire career, but he had one bad kick in 1999 when his missed field goal kept the Vikings out of the Super Bowl. Thing is, that was the only kick he missed that entire season.
Anyway, the guy made the big one today and the Titans moved on. Does Gary Anderson feel the pressure? "There's a certain amount of pressure, but I've been in those situations many, many times," Anderson said. "I somehow subconsciously focused on what needs to be done. It just sort of disappears and I just focus on the ball."
Not a bad season so far for a guy who was fly fishing in Colorado in September when the Titans called him to kick.
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The Steel Curtainites Champions Again!
Posted on : Monday December 29 2003 by Scott Buffington | category : news
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The Steel Curtainites have quickly become the first dynasty team of this two year old league. Quietly winning their division, acquiring a first round bye, the Curtainites used Ahman Green's running game to win a defensive battle against John Elway's Teeth to secure their second championship.
The Teeth were hoping that Brett Favre and a hungry Jamal Lewis could bring the team from behind. Favre rallied the team in the Semi-Final against the Gamecocks, bringing the team from behind despite a huge deficit. The Curtainites also came from behind to defeat Theismann's Legs in their Semi-Final game. This week the situation was entirely different, the Curtainites defense stymied Lewis late in the game and held him out of the endzone to preserve the victory. How appropriate that the Curtainites relied on a Pittsburgh run defense for the win.
The trophy will be awarded to owner Mike Amoroso along with his Media Play gift card. Also Mike gets the distinction of being the defending champ for yet another year. Women will swoon and the rest of us will be left asking "what if?" Enjoy all the perks of being League Champ Mike!
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Brutal Bowl II
Posted on : Tuesday December 23 2003 by Scott Buffington | category : news
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AP Sportswire John Elway's Teeth defeated the State University of California-Malibu Adjacent Gamecocks behind the strong and very accurate arm of Brett Favre and a stifling defense. The Teeth charged from nearly 40 points down to overtake the Gamecocks late in the game. The Teeth move on to the Fantasy Bowl to meet The Steel Curtainites who are on the verge of starting a dynasty.
The Steel Curtainites also came from behind via Ahman Green and some heroics from their kicker Ryan Longwell to defeat Theismann's Legs, preventing a media dream match-up between the Legs and the Teeth. Though the Curtainites were within striking distance, they did need a decent game from Ahman Green and Ryan Longwell to cement the victory.
The Curtainites were last years champion and seemingly have gotten no respect thus far. Rumor has it that State law barred them from collecting their trophy last season. That will not be the case this season if the Curtainites do indeed defend their title.
The Curtainites have been the epitome of depth and equal output all season long. They will need someone to step up in the Championship game, as the Teeth seem ready to grind out their first Championship.
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Top Performers 2003
Posted on : Tuesday December 09 2003 by Scott Buffington | category : news
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2003 Nite Football League Player Stats
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2003 Wk#1 through Wk#14
* indicates the player is available
Sort by:Fantasy Points/Fantasy Starter Points/Average Fantasy Pts/Game
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Strt FFL Avg
# Pos Player NFL Pts Pts PPG
--- - --- ------------------- --- ---- --- -----
1 RB HOLMES,PRIEST KC 283 283 21.77
2 QB MANNING,PEYTON IND 217 260 20.00
3 QB MCNAIR,STEVE TEN 257 257 19.77
4 QB CULPEPPER,DAUNTE MIN 255 255 21.25
5 RB GREEN,AHMAN GB 252 252 19.38
6 QB HASSELBECK,MATT SEA 169 248 19.08
7 RB TOMLINSON,LADAINIAN SD 242 242 18.62
8 QB GREEN,TRENT KC 147 242 18.62
9 RB PORTIS,CLINTON DEN 237 237 19.75
10 QB KITNA,JON CIN 94 230 17.69
11 RB LEWIS,JAMAL BAL 223 223 17.15
12 QB JOHNSON,BRAD TB 120 220 16.92
13 RB MCALLISTER,DEUCE NO 214 214 16.46
14 WR MOSS,RANDY MIN 210 210 16.15
15 QB BULGER,MARC STL 190 207 17.25
16 WR HOLT,TORRY STL 197 197 15.15
17 QB FAVRE,BRETT GB 139 195 15.00
18 RB ALEXANDER,SHAUN SEA 189 189 14.54
19 QB BROOKS,AARON NO 152 184 14.15
20 QB BRADY,TOM NE 33 182 14.00
21 RB DAVIS,STEPHEN CAR 166 180 15.00
22 RB HENRY,TRAVIS BUF 156 177 14.75
23 QB MCNABB,DONOVAN PHI 92 176 13.54
24 QB MADDOX,TOMMY PIT 84 175 13.46
25 QB GARCIA,JEFF SF 63 173 17.30
26 RB TAYLOR,FRED JAX 143 169 13.00
27 * QB CARTER,QUINCY DAL 0 165 12.69
28 RB WILLIAMS,RICKY MIA 162 162 12.46
29 QB COLLINS,KERRY NYG 4 162 12.46
30 WR JOHNSON,CHAD CIN 159 159 12.23
31 RB JAMES,EDGERRIN IND 157 157 15.70
32 Def BALTIMORE BAL 156 156 12.00
33 RB WILLIAMS,MOE MIN 146 154 11.85
34 QB DELHOMME,JAKE CAR 128 151 11.62
35 QB PLUMMER,JAKE DEN 62 151 16.78
36 * QB RAMSEY,PATRICK WAS 26 150 13.64
37 WR MOSS,SANTANA NYJ 148 149 11.46
38 QB BLAKE,JEFF ARI 25 149 11.46
39 WR WARD,HINES PIT 148 148 11.38
40 Def NEW ENGLAND NE 103 146 11.23
41 WR BOLDIN,ANQUAN ARI 90 145 11.15
42 WR HARRISON,MARVIN IND 144 144 12.00
43 Def ST. LOUIS STL 9 144 11.08
44 RB BARBER,TIKI NYG 127 142 10.92
45 * QB HARRINGTON,JOEY DET 8 140 10.77
46 WR JACKSON,DARRELL SEA 80 139 10.69
47 WR OWENS,TERRELL SF 138 138 10.62
48 K WILKINS,JEFF STL 137 137 10.54
49 K VANDERJAGT,MIKE IND 136 136 10.46
50 WR MCCARDELL,KEENAN TB 71 133 10.23
51 WR MASON,DERRICK TEN 88 130 10.00
52 Def TAMPA BAY TB 129 129 9.92
53 RB DAVIS,DOMANICK HOU 53 129 11.73
54 * QB LEFTWICH,BYRON JAX 10 129 10.75
55 QB BLEDSOE,DREW BUF 86 128 9.85
56 WR SMITH,STEVE CAR 33 127 9.77
57 Def DALLAS DAL 120 125 9.62
58 WR COLES,LAVERANUES WAS 74 124 9.54
59 RB DUNN,WARRICK ATL 18 121 11.00
60 Def SAN FRAN SF 18 120 9.23
61 QB PENNINGTON,CHAD NYJ 70 118 16.86
62 WR CHAMBERS,CHRIS MIA 60 117 9.00
63 K STOVER,MATT BAL 107 116 8.92
64 Def MIAMI MIA 94 115 8.85
65 RB WESTBROOK,BRIAN PHI 37 115 9.58
66 WR BRUCE,ISAAC STL 102 114 8.77
67 WR WARRICK,PETER CIN 45 114 8.77
68 RB FAULK,MARSHALL STL 113 113 14.13
69 Def TENNESSEE TEN 76 113 8.69
70 RB PITTMAN,MICHAEL TB 0 113 8.69
71 TE GONZALEZ,TONY KC 100 112 8.62
72 WR HORN,JOE NO 90 112 8.62
73 RB GEORGE,EDDIE TEN 84 112 8.62
74 * QB STEWART,KORDELL CHI 0 112 14.00
75 WR TOOMER,AMANI NYG 104 111 8.54
76 WR BOSTON,DAVID SD 102 111 10.09
77 Def BUFFALO BUF 90 111 8.54
78 Def DENVER DEN 65 111 8.54
79 QB CARR,DAVID HOU 0 110 11.00
80 RB HEARST,GARRISON SF 84 108 9.00
81 RB MARTIN,CURTIS NYJ 84 108 8.31
82 TE SHARPE,SHANNON DEN 103 107 8.23
83 WR WAYNE,REGGIE IND 56 105 8.08
84 RB JOHNSON,RUDI CIN 71 104 9.45
85 * RB DUCKETT,T.J. ATL 20 104 8.00
86 QB FIEDLER,JAY MIA 5 104 10.40
87 WR JOHNSON,ANDRE HOU 52 100 7.69
88 QB FLUTIE,DOUG SD 23 100 16.67
89 K ELAM,JASON DEN 74 99 7.62
90 QB HOLCOMB,KELLY CLE 28 98 9.80
91 RB HAMBRICK,TROY DAL 89 96 7.38
92 Def PITTSBURGH PIT 81 96 7.38
93 RB THOMAS,ANTHONY CHI 73 96 9.60
94 RB BARLOW,KEVAN SF 58 96 7.38
95 K BROWN,JOSH SEA 35 96 7.38
96 WR MCCAREINS,JUSTIN TEN 6 96 7.38
97 * K KASAY,JOHN CAR 23 95 7.31
98 K LONGWELL,RYAN GB 44 94 7.23
99 Def INDIANAPOLIS IND 19 94 7.23
100 * Def JACKSONVILLE JAX 10 94 7.23
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Power Rankings - Behind the Numbers
Posted on : Wednesday December 03 2003 by Kurt Albin | category : news

Well, here we are 13 weeks into the season. The playoff picture is coming together and the Banyanators will not be participating in the playoffs, that is for certain. But who really is the most dominate team in the league? The answer is quite clear after breaking down the entire season. For a true picture of a team's power ranking I compared each team's point tally for each week of the season against all other team's point tallies for the same week. So instead 1 game per team each week, each team would have 11 games per week.
So, after 13 weeks of the season here are power rankings for the league followed by each team's complete breakdown (wins-losses-ties).
1. S.U.C.M.A. Cocks (110-32-1)
2. Banyanators (91-51-1)
3. The Nitschke's (90-50-3)
4. 864 Area Codes (85-57-1)
5. The Steel Curtainites (83-59-1)
6. John Elway's Teeth (79-62-2)
7. Shady Spring Tigers (78-63-2)
8. Theismann's Legs (70-72-1)
9. Hanover Hellions (55-86-2)
10. Cyg's Calorie Outlets (48-94-1)
11. Yodelin' Yossarians (36-107)
12. Pottsville Maroons (25-117-1)
The power rankings may change slightly since there is one more week left in the regular season of our league, but some awards can't be impacted by the additional week, so here they are:
The Most Dominant Team in the League Award goes to:
The S.U.C.M.A. Cocks! This team posted high point totals numerous weeks this season and with a league breakdown of 110-32-1 this team has to be the favorite going into the post season. No team had a favorable breakdown against the Cocks but the 864 Areacodes tallied a 6-7 record against the Cocks through 13 weeks. Could the Areacodes be the team that puts the Cocks out? We'll see come playoff time.
The winner of the Worst Draw of a Schedule Award goes to:
Yours truly, the Banyanators! With a breakdown of (11-2) against the Pottsville Maroons, (8-5) against the Shady Spring Tigers, (9-4) against Theismann's Legs and (9-4) against Cyg's Calorie the Banyanators suffered heartbreaking losses to each of these teams during the season. The scheduling gods have not looked down favorably on the Banyanators.
The Worst Team in any League in the World Award goes to:
The Pottsville Maroons! This team got hammered more than Jena Jameson in a gang bang video. With a breakdown of (25-117-1), this team more than balanced out S.U.C.M.A.'s dominance.
Good luck to the playoff teams. It's been a fun year despite the Banyanators woes. If we do have a Tiolet Bowl for the teams that don't make the playoffs I would be in favor of a loser advances format. Thus, the Maroons would be the #1 seed of the Terd Bowl. It's not an honor the win the Feces Bowl, it's an embarrassment!
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Steve Bartman Robs Hellions
Posted on : Monday November 17 2003 by Scott Buffington | category : news

AP Sportswire - Steve Bartman, estranged Cub fan made several appearances at this weeks Shady Springs Tigers / Hanover Hellions game. The Hellions playing their final home game of the season at Sheppard and Myers Field which carries a unique rule in the league. Hanover owner Scott Buffington has always liked giving back to the fans, and he allows fans to rush the field and meet players. Fans are not fined or thrown out of the game. The rule never posed a problem, as a gesture of good faith no fan has ever rushed the field during the game.
That all changed in this weeks game. The Shady Springs Tigers used a loophole in the rule to acquire the services of one Steve Bartman. Bartman has been embraced by Shady Springs and has lived there since the baseball incident. This weekend, Steve Bartman made the Hellions pay dearly. On three occasions Hellions kicker Gary Anderson lined up for 55 yard field goals. On all three occasions the Hellions pulled a fake and the fleet footed Anderson rushed for what seemed to be long TD runs. But on each occasion Bartman rushed the field wearing a Hellion jersey. The Hellions were flagged on all three occasions for fan interference. But Bartman was allowed to retreat back to the Shady Springs Sideline as per the Sheppard and Myers rule.
Anderson and other Hellion players attempted to get to Bartman on all three occasions. But referees and Shady Spring players continued to protect Bartman. "He was standing on the Shady Springs sideline, couldn't the refs see that!" exclaimed Gary Anderson.
"We were enforcing the home rule that is specific to Sheppard and Myers Field", stated Head Official Don Denkinger. All three of the plays were called back and the Hellions were forced to punt.
"It is unfortunate that one person can ruin the experience for me at least", stated Buffington. The Hellions will look to change this rule next season and hopefully the Bartman factor will not affect them next season.
"We knew we would have trouble stopping Anderson if he chose to run", said Coach Scott Wood. Wood continued, "We had to find someone to shadow him incase he decided to run, today we did what we had to do. Hanover counted on us to be passive, they counted wrong." This reporter thinks he has heard that somewhere before.
"I love Shady Springs", said Bartman. I recommend anyone who needs to hide from fellow fans to come live in Shady Springs. "For just this small favor Shady Springs has allowed me asylum", said Bartman happily.
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Hellions Test New Helmet Technology
Posted on : Thursday October 30 2003 by Scott Buffington | category : news

[AP Sportswire] - The New England Journal of Medicine reports that new helmet technology may well increase the reaction time of players. So far the helmets have only been tested on rats, but Scientists are confident that the results will carry over onto the field.
In tests, the rats completed the maze tests a full .20 milliseconds faster than the rats not wearing the helmets. Coach/Owner Scott Buffington of the Hanover Hellions immediately offered to outfit his Hellions with the new helmets. The Helmets work by sending constant electronic pulses to the wearer. The pulses are powered by mini-reactors that utilize used up plutonium.
Scientists report that no adverse affects have been seen in the rats using the helmets after a full week of tests. "These helmets are completely safe and are of no danger to the wearer", said Dr. Popovski, Lead Developer.
"That's good enough for me!", said Buffington, who refused to put on the helmet at the press conference. "Of course I will not put on the helmet, these helmets are for my players", responded Buffington. "This is the perfect week for testing, as half my team will be vacationing", continued Buffington.
Greenpeace protested the press conference, but Buffington seemed pleased with the showing, "Listen to those fans, I had no idea we had any left", Buffington said joyously.
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Theismann's Legs Emerge From Rubble
Posted on : Friday October 17 2003 by Scott Buffington | category : news

AP Sportwire - Following this weeks loss by the "rudderless" NWO organization. A new owner pulled the team from financial troubles and bought the team outright. Billionaire Businessman and a potential candidate for next years UPN show, "Tom Billionaire", Thomas Steck stepped forward and pulled the team from the rubble. He immediately hired MayFlower Trucking and moved the team to RFK Stadium, replaced all the players helmets with single bars and copyrighted "Theismann's Legs".
Coach Steck explained, "Joe did it all, just to play. I need these guys to think outside the box to get us into this thing! Last time I checked, Joe had no patent on his legs and I have been waiting for this moment for over ten years." This reporter is not exactly sure what the hell Mr. Steck is talking about, but it looks like he will fit right in with the rest of the league's owners
Warren Sapp breathed a sigh of relief as he had spent last week worrying whether he would be paid or not by his Mast.. err Owner. Perhaps that explains the defensive collapse in last weeks game. Terry Glenn was seen practicing his endzone dance as certainly he will now be inserted into the lineup.
Not all the players were happy though, "I had a nice warm spot on the bench, a whole years paid vacation. There was absolutely no way I was going to have to play this year", stated disgruntled QB Mark Brunell. Mark still has little to worry about, except that now he will most likely be out of a job as Coach/Owner Tom Steck will most likely cut Brunell. At least that is what this reporter heard from an inside source.
Division 1, the tightest division in the NiteFL just got a little tighter. Will Theismann's Legs have enough left in them to sprint from worst to first?
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1972 Dolphins Gather For Toast
Posted on : Tuesday October 07 2003 by Scott Buffington | category : news

AP Sportswire - Members of the 1972 Miami Dolphins huddle around a bottle of champagne to toast the GameCocks loss this morning. Csonka, pictured here was extremely happy standing in-front of the Shady Springs Tigers team banner. Csonka erupted, "This one is for you Coach Stambaugh!"
Apparently Coach Stambaugh thought he had this one wrapped up as he approached the post-game interview podium and began, "I am proud to say that our 5-0 record is a direct effect of superior team management via the draft, which I directed and my superior coaching abilities. With the players I have to work with it is amazing how good we are." Stambaugh was shocked when this reporter returned with, "Um coach, you lost". Stambaugh did not realize that his usually stingy defense had let him down. Stambaugh quickly exited the interview area.
Coach Wood had this to say, "I am not surprised we beat them. They were looking completely past us. You cannot do that to the Shady Springs Tigers. We'll make you pay, we are a force. West "By God" Virginia will rise again!" We here at the Associated Press are not sure when they arose the first time. But the guy deserves to be fired up. It was a fantastic win for the Tigers.
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Yossarians Designate 2003 'Rebuilding Year'
Posted on : Wednesday October 01 2003 by Chuck Hoyes | category : news
AP NewsWire - Mechanicsburg, PA:The Yossarians had perhaps the riskiest draft, with the exception of the Pottsville Maroons. A few weeks after the draft the Yodeling Yossarians were ready to deem the 2003 season a rebuilding year. Chuck "Jaboobie" Hoyes took this articles advice, because it really fit his team. "We really need Kelly Holcombe to step up and show everyone why $5 million is sitting on the bench." an anonymous Yossarian was quoted as saying.
Those that were not hurt were facing drug suspensions to start the season. A rumor has been going through camp that team Yossarian may be staging an intervention. Though the question is raised about how they will go on to do that when you figure the drug users may very well outnumber their more straight edge teammates.
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Cyg's Calorie Outlets Win Home Opener
Posted on : Tuesday September 09 2003 by Alex Harden | category : news
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[CygWeb Stadium, Harrisburg, PA] Cyg's Calorie Outlets were victorious in NSN FFL Week 1 over the Nite Wolf Odor. Their running backs carried the team to victory, scoring 49 of their 85 points. The bench was fuming over Coach Alex "Cyg" Harden's choice of starting Donovan McNabb over Brad Johnson. McNabb had a difficult time dealing with a tough Tampa Bay defense and scored less than half the points of Johnson. "We were very reluctant to start BJ, even though he is a Super Bowl quarterback," Harden explained. "Now that he's shown he's ready for business this season, I'll consider starting him in future weeks."
Harden was also impressed by the play of the Tennessee defensive team and WR Tai Streets. But one player caught his attention this week, and it wasn't one of his. "No more Joe Jurevicius jokes," he said.
The Calorie Outlets face Priest Holmes and the rest of the Banyanators at CygWeb Stadium in Week 2. "It will be a matchup of some of the best running backs in the league," Harden remarked. "Perhaps Priest needs the week off after working so hard in Week 1."
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The 864 Press Conference
Posted on : Tuesday September 09 2003 by Ray Vampran | category : news
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In what can only be described as a bold move, coach Streeter pointed fingers at himself, his staff, and his team as he promised the 864 faithful that they would never see such a docile performance by anyone associated with the 864 organization ever again.
"35 points is not acceptable in this league" coach Streeter said. "We as a team were overwhelmed by those divisional rivals from hell. They smashed us in the mouth, beat us up physically and mentally and made us look like a second class team. We get them again later this season and until then we will destroy everything and every body in our way. The 864 will have every team we face dialing 911 for help from this day out", continued Streeter.
Coach Streeter also spoke at length about how Coach Buff,a old friend from there days in the east coast hacky sack league, "had his team fired up and ready to play." "If anything Coach Buff woke us up."
"The Pottsville Maroons are 10 times better than us right now" Coach Streeter announced as the team ran windsprints in full pads. They are at least 3 touchdowns better than we are right now, we got less than a week before we face them. We will put a better product on the field Sunday, some big names are going to be in for a surprise, this squad may be full of unknown names by weekends if some of our so called superstars don't get there football blood pumping again!", coach Streeter said as he slung a diet cherry coke at the local media. Then he proclaimed this bleeping press conf. is OVER
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Mayor Reed Announces Museum
Posted on : Thursday August 28 2003 by Alex Harden | category : news
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[CygWeb Stadium, Harrisburg, PA] Harrisburg Mayor Stephen Reed has something special planned for the NSN FFL kickoff weekend. "The National Wild West Museum will officially open its doors on Sunday, September 7th," Reed said, "and I'm proud to say it will be located inside CygWeb Stadium!"
The mayor hopes that people from around the country will be drawn to his unique display of Wild West artifacts. However, not many visitors will be able to browse the museum at once -- it's located inside one of the stadium's many concession stands. Reed explains: "The final home of the museum won't be ready until 2006, so I decided to exhibit the stuff I've purchased so far at CygWeb Stadium while we're waiting for it. These are rare, expensive items that I think many people are dying to see.
"I hope that between bathroom and concession breaks, football fans will take a minute to make the trip through the museum. We've worked very hard to make Harrisburg "The Museum Capital of the United States" and I think everyone should have the opportunity to learn more about the Wild West."
Calorie Outlets Coach Alex "Cyg" Harden, a part owner of the stadium, is pleased that the city has set up shop there. "Personally, I think Mayor Reed's nuts, but he's already wasted $5 million on this project. What's another $3000 a week for rent? We appreciate the opportunity to help the city make money on this investment."
Members of the press are anxious to get a look at the museum's temporary home, but Reed explained that it won't be ready until the day of the game. "I still have to set up the card tables and the lights. I also need to go get a cash register. And all the artifacts are locked up in my basement."
The National Wild West Museum's permanent home will be built in Reservoir Park, next to the National Civil War Museum. "It will be a sad day when we leave CygWeb Stadium, but I'm sure Starbucks will be happy to get their booth back," pondered Reed.
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Hellions End Pre-Season
Posted on : Friday August 15 2003 by Scott Buffington | category : news

AP News wire: Coach Scott "The Diamond Stud" Buffington shocked the entire NiteFL this morning by ending Pre-Season Camp two weeks early. "We are as ready as we are gonna be, and I have pressing business at Cygweb Stadium", stated Coach Buffington, who was first going to fly to Philadelphia in an effort to officially sign Duce Staley. Staley has missed the entire pre-season and Buffington shocked the league by choosing Staley early in the draft. It seems Coach Buffington did not know Staley was a no-show.
More interesting is the question of what the pressing business is that Coach Buffington has at Cygweb Stadium. No one within the Hellions organization seemed to have a clue. Perhaps a big trade is in the works? Coach Ray Vamp of the 864 Areacodes seemed to have the most plausible explanation for Coach Buffington's actions. "The guy has an affinity for cold beer, hot coffee and fine women, Cygweb Stadium has a whole lot of all three", said Coach Vamp. Vamp stated, "The Calorie Outlets cheerleaders were voted the sexiest in the league last year that place is like a party house. I just hope he doesn't think we are going to take him as lightly as he seems to be taking us in week 1".
Coach Alex Harden could not be reached for comment. But Coach Vamp's take on the situation seems to be the most plausible explanation. As Coach Kurt Albin pointed out, "The guy has Diamond Stud as a nickname, of course he is going for the cheerleaders" and Coach Scott Wood also pointed to draft day, "He must of downed two pots of coffee in a three hour span", said Wood. Calorie Outlet cheerleader Trisha Yearnwood had this to say about Buffington, "They don't call him the Diamond Stud for nothing".
We will just have to sit tight on this one NiteFL fanatics, is it the party scene over at Cygweb or a big trade? Only time will tell.
UPDATE:Buffington convinces Staley to report Sunday.
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Hellions Hope to Unleash Hell!
Posted on : Friday August 08 2003 by Scott Buffington | category : news
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The State University of California Malibu-Adjacent Gamecocks were quick out of the gates this season and at the conclusion of week 1, the Gamecocks are looking like the league's elite. The Hanover Hellions came out with a win over the highly touted 864 Areacodes, though not quite as impressively as the Gamecocks offensive explosion.
Week 2 headlines with a meeting between the S.U.C.M.A. Gamecocks and the Hanover Hellions. With this being the first season for the NiteFL, you would think that rivalries are non-existent. Not-so, these two programs have a long line of bad blood. The two teams used to play in what was billed as a East versus West game each season. The Gamecocks representing California and the Hellions representing Pennsylvania. The rivalry sadly turned bloody however. Hellion fans kidnapped the Gamecocks Mascot, Ernie the first as a pregame prank. Hellion fans claimed Ernie somehow got mixed in with other tailgating food and was fried up Cajun style. Since the culprits all the while were screaming, "Unleash Hell!", doubt was cast on the supposed accident. Hellion fans attempted to smooth over the incident by stateing how moist and tasty Ernie turned out. Despite the compliment, nothing seemed to simmer down Gamecock fans who are still Louisiana hot over the incident.
Gamecock fans keep Ernie the first in their memory by waving a model of Ernie attached to a stick in tomahawk chop fashion during each game. Yes, Ernie the first will always be remembered by Cock fans. It certainly looks as if this game will be everything it has been billed to be. We should certainly expect some fireworks this week, especially after Coach Buffington responded to questions on the game with, "Unleash Hell!" Coach Stambaugh answered that with the S.U.C.M.A. Cock warcry, "Cluck You!"
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Gamecocks Media Day
Posted on : Thursday August 07 2003 by Kurt Stambaugh | category : news

Malibu Adjacent: Coach Stambaugh gave us many gems in this morning's press conference. Topics ranged from this weeks meeting with the hated Hellions to corporate sponsorships. Here are a few of the highlights:
When asked about last weeks complete destruction of John Elways Tooth: "We were all stunned, because quite frankly we were completely looking past them to this week. We spent 3 days on them during the preseason tops."
What was your philosophy this offseason: "I based this years camp on the Junction Boys"
It's Saturday why are you still in California? "I want to spend the least amount of time in Hanover that I can. I wouldn't want to be in the middle of a race riot HAHA"
Any corporate deals yet? "Well, last weeks victory really turned the corner for us. The Hen House is now the Hen House at Boones Farm, and the Hells Angels have decided to have a ride for MS called Cruisin' for Cocks. And we've hired Dirk Benedict (Face from A team) as our stadium announcer. Now if you'll excuse me I need to practice my victory speech."
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Cocks Update (AP)
Posted on : Tuesday July 29 2003 by Alex Harden | category : news

AP NewsWire - Malibu, CA:
Things are not going well for the State University of California-Malibu Adjacent Gamecocks football club. Cheerleading tryouts for the newly-professional team's inaugural season in the Brutal Deluxe Football League aren't producing what the team's owner was hoping for. The civil liberties union filed a complaint with the BDFL over the lack of any male cheerleaders on any of the 12 BDFL teams. Rather than fight a lengthy court battle, the BDFL deemed that the S.U.C.M.A. Gamecocks would field a male cheerleading squad. Which is a good thing, because the only prospects willing to opine the team's cheers at volume are male.
"It's incredible," said team owner Kurt Stambaugh, "I can't believe we're going to be the first professional football team *not* to have female cheerleaders."
Cheerleaders for the other Brutal Deluxe Football League teams did not comment for this story. They just chuckled. Pictured is a member of the new squad, sporting his new uniform.
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S.U.C.M.A. Goes Pro
Posted on : Sunday July 27 2003 by Kurt Stambaugh | category : news
AP NewsWire - Malibu, CA: After much deliberation, the Div.IV college football powerhouse State University of California-Malibu Adjacent Gamecocks have decided to head straight to the pros. The NiteFL while glad to have a new team join the ranks has had some concerns over stadium names, advertising etc. Likewise, the television networks have contacted the FCC about having to say the S.U.C.M.A. Cocks several times in a given telecast. Michael Powell FCC chairman has ruled that as long as the team is backed by a huge media conglomerate, there should not be a problem. The team is owned and coached by Kurt Stambaugh who prides himself on his Junction Boy like pre-season camps.
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